10/7/15 Winning Is Everything?

    My wife is an intelligent person, I would never question that, but she still asks questions that make me think you don't know me very well.  This weekend we were discussing the new truck and the fact that maybe we got too much truck.  I had told her before we even got serious about shopping "if I get a truck, it will be loaded and awesome, otherwise you can drive it as yours."
    She asked if it was important to me that my truck be as nice or nicer than my brother's.  I was in the shower, and the question was like a swift kick in the ass, yes!  Of course it has to be as nice.  As motivated as she can be at work, I don't think Wife is a type A personality.  She doesn't compete to win, she doesn't strive to be the best, every time I have killed myself to do something, I go all in.  Growing up, it was always more important to me to win, than to make friends.
    I was always near the top of my class, All- State in saxophone, graduated with a 4.0 from the junior college, went to UT on a scholastic scholarship, moved to a bigger house because it all ties together, and now my giant truck puts a bow on top.
    There have been times when being me might be frustrating to people around me, overall, she benefits from me being how I am.  I have fought up the ladder, and although I am not a manager, I do tend to be the highest paid person in the group, thanks to all the OT.  I wouldn't believe this myself as we have 3-4 PhDs, but my director has told me so, and not in a happy tone.  My only come back is well, if you want the work done on time, I'm not going to be here for free.
    Still, Wife foolishly asks me from time to time "who are you competing with?"  I have to say I compete with me.  Once you settle, there you will be, and that is all you'll deserve.  She wanted to go and live in our old house, at least for a year or two.  I couldn't do it.  What if I stroke out and die in the next year or two?  What was the point of making more money than everybody, you still died in the house you bought twenty years ago, how far did I get, if that is all I accomplished?
    I don't measure everyone as harshly as I do myself.  I am sure most people are happier with what they have, people are taught and trained with that, "be happy with what the lord has provided."