8/13/23 Boy In Japan?

     I do write too much about Mijo, the younger one, because he is still part of our household.  Boy, the older one, is still very much loved, but because he doesn't live with us, it is hard to have stuff to mention him.  Right now, he is currently in Japan which sounds exotic as f**k, and it is, and he has job to thank for that.  He works for a big semiconductor company and is currently out there for installs of several tools, and also on a vacation of sorts.  I don't completely understand how it all works, but he took his fiancée, and the first two weeks of the trip, he is mostly on vacation.  He didn't clarify how the company paid for his plane ticket, but I am not going to question too much.

    They landed after midnight on Thursday night, after spending all day in the air.  I believe they spent most of Friday recuperating from such a long trip, as there were no pictures or communications that day, but on Saturday he sent a few pictures that they were at some big Tokyo comic convention with something like 140,000 people in attendance.  This sounds like a once in a lifetime trip, complete with a Disney Japan and even Universal Japan scheduled for some time next week.  I am happy the two of them are getting a chance to see the world like this, together and while they are young and adventurous.

    Just a while ago (Sunday morning), he sent us a picture of their wedding rings, which he had mentioned they were going to get up there.  He said they are handmade, and each ring has some special qualities, such as his looks like a "gear", because he is a "nerd" that likes to tinker with mechanical things.  I asked if this was going to push up their wedding day, which he mentioned they want to do in 2025, and he said no, it is just something they wanted to take care of, since they liked that particular jeweler.

    I am sure they will have a couple of exotic meals and see places I would never even think of in their two weeks there.  At some point, the fiancée will have to fly back alone, and he will continue to the work part of his trip.  He mentioned he will first be in the middle of Japan, I guess near Tokyo, then go by bullet train to the north end of the island, and then he might fly to the south end or again, go by bullet train to the southernmost tip, where he has been before.  I believe he has installs of tools in three separate facilities.  I like that he is comfortable enough doing this, he says his stuff is all sent ahead of him from hotel to hotel via mail.  His tools are also being sent ahead of him, so he doesn't have to really carry anything physically himself.  That is great, I have seen some of these installer's toolboxes at our facilities, and not only are they an expensive target to get stolen, but they can also be heavy, and I know my boy will have every gadget he can fit in his toolbox, he has always loved all sorts of tools.

8/12/23 Jail Break Time?

     A week is not a real long time, depending on what one is doing, but after dropping off Mijo for the first time at college, it felt great to see our Gordito on Saturday morning.  We went and picked him up after their morning workout (around 10am) so he could join us and go see his Cougars playing their brown and gold scrimmage.  In the big picture, it had barely been about 10 days since his last workout with the team, but they all seemed excited to see him, nonetheless.

    I wanted to add a little extra surprise, so luckily, we arrived early to Georgetown, I told Wife we should go get him his favorite, the sweet and spicy burger from Whataburger, so he could eat something on the way to the scrimmage.  He was happy to see us, then he was more excited to get a burger to eat as we drove.  I know I have been sad and all that whining, but it is really awesome that Georgetown is only about 45 minutes away, when traffic is light.

    We got to the game around 11:00am, missing the first part.  Mijo started seated in the bleachers with some of his friends that graduated with him, but then he asked me if I thought it would be okay to go to the sidelines to talk with the guys.  I said, "go for it, the coaches all love you, nobody is going to complain."  He walked down there and the first coach to notice him quickly hugged him and pulled him into the crowd of helmets and shoulder pads.  I just love sitting back and watching Mijo be so well received by all the kids, even freshmen who barely know him were giving him fist bumps, as he says he was helping them during the summer both when lifting weights and then on the tackling drills.

    These kids are just a different kind of tough.  I was feeling miserable just sitting there in the heat.  Luckily, this started at 10am, but the few morning clouds were gone by 11am and we were sitting on aluminum bleachers absorbing that afternoon heat quickly.  How can these boys run around in dark brown jerseys and black helmets in 100-degree weather and come off the field smiling and ready to hug?  We hung around until 12:40, hugging and fist bumping all the familiar faces, then had to head back to Georgetown.  It was a good early day for us, if you don't count the heat.  We ate at Pok-E-Jo's, some mediocre brisket and ribs ($70 for three plates is ridiculous), then got Mijo back to campus by 2:15pm.  We gave him a good hug, and he looked okay, no crying on any of our parts, saying we would do this again next week (he has a dentist appointment).  It is nice knowing we will probably be seeing him almost every weekend, for games or maybe just for lunch.

8/11/23 A Few Days In?

     I cannot write every day, this is one of the reasons I finally took a long break, but I will try to add thoughts as often as possible.  Mijo was left on campus at SU on Tuesday and things got real, fast.  He had been almost braggadocious about wanting to move out and he didn't need Mama and Daddy around, he was ready to go conquer the world.  I knew I was going to be a blubbery crying mess; I did not expect him to fall apart crying when we left, he had been so stoic any other time.  Much like his mom, I thought he was devoid of much emotional feelings.  He admitted later that he didn't realize what alone felt like, as he tried sleeping in the dorms the first night, alone in a room, where there were only about ten total other guys on his floor, and he did not know a single one of them.  He said he was having doubts whether he had done the right thing, going to a school where he was not going to know anyone and have to live on his own.

    After talking with him the next day and multiple times at that, it is quite evident that he is missing us.  He called wanting to know what I was up to, and I think he really just wanted to hear us because he seemed interested in what I did at work and throughout the day, which I am sure he never even paid attention before, asking for more details, which surprised me at first.

    We have gotten in a habit of little phone calls throughout the day, he'll call as he is walking back and forth to his dorm, or he'll call during his long break in the middle of the day, they cannot work out outside when it is 108 degrees, so they are starting their days at 6:30am, then break around 10-11am.  It is a work in progress, I am not great talking on the phone (never have been), I prefer texting, but for Mijo, I will try to be more engaged when he calls.  It is funny, now he seems to get it.  His friend, who is going to Tx State on Thursday this coming week, is acting all macho that he can't wait to move out.  Mijo is now saying, "nah, he thinks it will be easy, that's what I thought, it is a whole other world being out of the house and not having anyone around to talk to."

    Things are getting better for all of us.  He has met a few guys, including the one across the hall from his dorm room, another husky, Hispanic freshman, and we met his parents and exchanged numbers during orientation, hopefully, they'll become good friends, the parents seem likable, and we have been texting with them as well, after they texted us that their son had met ours.  I am over the initial shock of having our baby out of the house, I miss him, but it is nice not playing taxi all week to Crockett and back multiple times a day.  In due time he will have a group of guys to lean on and we'll not be texting and talking all day long, which will be good too.  I love hearing from him, but I certainly am not interesting enough to keep him entertained with new stories every time he calls.

8/8/23 Change- Good and Bad?

     What can I say, we are headed into a new chapter of life, whether I am ready or not.  I know change is good, it is how we grow and get better, but goddammit, we have had a good life and following our boys around has been a big part of it.  Today is check-in day for Southwestern University, for the football players, so they can get a couple of weeks of workouts before the fall season gets under way.  Once we decided on this school, things only picked up speed.  There was the commitment after touring the campus, then lining up of financing (we are not rich, this is going to take some huge loans, it is a private school), orientation, doing physicals and getting up to date immunizations, even a sickle cell test, and finally, choosing a dorm room.

    The dorm situation did not work out quite as planned.  First off, during the tour, they showed us the two newer co-ed buildings, and of course, we all agreed, any of these rooms would work.  Then, because he is a freshman, he got to select his room about last, so his only choice for rooms was Ruter Hall, which is the all-male dormitory, with communal showers on each floor, versus showers and baths in their suites.  Mijo was not happy at first, but he is so excited to go to this school that he got over it fairly quickly.  They call themselves the Ruter Rats, I guess because it is the most primitive of the dorms, and it being all-male, they tend to bond differently than in the co-ed halls.

    But here we are, all packed up with our mini fridge, microwave, 4 bins of clothes and supplies, along with cases of water, sports drinks, snacks, and a partridge on a pear tree.  We plan and we buy, and I know there are still going to be things we forgot to get him.  This is what I like about him being less than an hour away, I can run up there and see him and take him stuff he might need any day of the week.

    I have already been a teary-eyed mess the last two weeks, anytime I think this was the last time for this or that, such as last time we drive to Crockett, last time we have a meal after practice, shit, last time he takes out the trash.  I'm at the point Wife just rolls her eyes at me, because she is a robot with no emotions.

    I just have to focus on all the firsts yet to come.  There will be a first day of college, first game he starts, first this and that we don't even know about.  I am sad right this minute, but I also know there will be so much to be excited about in the near future because we have put him in a position where his future is going to only expand and get bigger.

8/7/23 Popping Into What Is Going On Now?

     I am skipping the whole catching up for a day, I am writing this on Sunday morning, and it is two days before Mijo goes off to college (he reports to football practice on Tuesday).  We did decide on SU after all for his college, mostly because he has a chance to play football.  Because of this opportunity, his life has remained relatively unchanged.  We spent all of his free time going back and forth to Crockett HS so he could continue lifting weights and working out with his high school teammates for conditioning and strength training.  He now has a truck we got for him, but he does not have his driver's license, so I have not just left him to his own devices and let him drive alone everywhere.  He has driven to the movies a couple times here in Southpark Meadows and I let him drive to the park next to Crockett for a birthday party of one of his friends, but I don't want him getting comfortable driving without his license.  As a result, I got the honor of taking him back and forth for the last two months, all the way to this past Thursday, and only because they don't meet on Fridays, plus he had a dentist appointment.

    At this point, he has spent plenty of time with the friends that mattered to him and has even said his goodbyes.  His girlfriend comes over randomly for a couple hours here and there, I am sure she will miss him a lot.  We have a lunch date with my family around 2:00pm, I was hoping to get Boy to join, but he too has a big trip, to Japan at the end of the week and says he has last minute things to get done.

    It's fixing to be a brand-new world.  I am sad because of the change; my life has been set around getting both boys to school and making sure they have eaten and have what they need for the last 25 years or so.  Once I get past that, it will be pretty great, not having to get up to take him to school at random times, this boy fluctuated from 6:30am for wrestling to 9:30am for late start days, I never knew what time to get up.  Plus, we will see him every week at the football games, whether he comes home or not on the weekends.

    I do love that because he is insisting on playing football, it is like he joined the military in that his life will be very structured and there will be adults yelling at him and relying on him to do the right thing.  I don't doubt that Mijo wouldn't do the right thing, but I also like that there is that layer of coaching staff whose job is to help make these young men better adults, whether they win or lose on the field.  There is so much more gained by being a part of a larger group which I have seen in Mijo firsthand.  I am excited to see his progression through the next four years.

8/6/23 Tour Of Southwestern University?

     Things were moving fast all semester as I said.  Once wrestling ended, we had more pressing things to get on with.  We were continuously discussing what college would be like.  I was still pushing for a college option with wrestling somehow, Mijo was holding out for some sort of football offer so that he could continue playing football in the fall.  I don't think he got too much attention because his senior season was so quiet, due to his injuries.  Still, we as parents did the best we could, even if I kept pushing to keep him within an hour's drive from home.  I just don't believe it helps to have your kid in another state, what if they get ill or there is an emergency?

    Up until this point, we were kind of betting TLU was going to come through, as Mijo's coach had been telling him to apply there.  It seemed like a slam dunk, the previous quarterback and his best receiver were there, so it seemed like coach had a connection with that staff, but even after going and touring and getting accepted to the school, the coaches never reached out that he could join the team.  We were not going to commit to such an expensive school if he was not going to play, for that, he could just go to Texas State, where both Wife and Boy had graduated from.  (We later found out there were coaching staff changes and a lot of turmoil at TLU, so glad we didn't get the call).

    Then Southwestern University, SU, called.  This school is in Georgetown, and I did not know much about it, honestly.  Mijo got excited, I was just going along with it, I figured we could take a tour, meet some coaches, but it seemed like too much money and something I did not feel at home with.  Walking on the campus was an eye-opening experience.  we both immediately fell in love with the campus.  I loved the uniformity. all the main buildings are made with the same white limestone that is very common here in Central Texas, this campus is beautiful and spacious.  I loved that we were told the campus has 500 acres, there is a lot of land just bare and open.  The population is only 1500 students, so it is not a mega campus like UT or Tx State.  Needless to say, we said yes immediately, even with the huge cost it is going to be, it has felt worth it from day one.  The school is in close communication, the head coach texts our son at least once a week, to make sure he is doing well and getting things like his physical completed.  I believe we are paying more, but getting our money's worth with the extra care the coaching staff has already shown.

    We did have a few long talks about the cost, for a moment our fear showed, and I told Mijo it was just going to be too expensive.  Mijo said he understood and tried to keep his composure as he walked upstairs with his head down saying, "It was nice to at least hear from a coach that he would have had me on his team, even if I don't get to play anymore."  Fuck!  That melted me inside, the next day I told Wife we can't say no to this school because of a couple of bucks, it would be like buying a fully loaded F-250.  Let's just do it, we'll figure out a way to pay it later.  Wife had come to the same conclusion, she was all ready to say yes too, and I don't think she was involved in our little exchange the night before.  

    From the moment we said yes and paid the $500 initiation fee, it has been a very positive experience with the school.  They reach out personally, counselors have called, coaches have called.  The head coach gave me his number and said to call if there is any question.  I did text him once and he responded very quickly and friendly enough, so thus far, I am very happy with our choice and Mijo is over the moon that he gets to continue playing football for a few more years.  The biggest reason I support this is because he says he wants to be a coach as his job.  Much like Boy that I knew his personality was that of an engineer and he has found his happy place, Mijo here is a born leader and I believe he was born to coach and lead.  His personality screams "listen to me, I know what I'm doing."

8/5/23 Last Words on Wrestling?

     I will move on from wrestling, I just have to put these thoughts to paper as they were so emotional for all of us at the time and in the moment.  Sitting in the stands, with nothing else to do for hours between matches tests one's mettle.  All we could do was try and stay positive for Mijo and the team, even as the starts to come around and we have been in the building since around 8:00am, it is a test of stamina, not just for the wrestlers, but everyone in the building.  The end came too fast, he was pinned in his third match, and just like that, his season ended.  There is no replay, no complaining, nothing to do but sit there and accept reality.  I was honestly overwhelmed by emotion and cried, not for myself, but because my boy had fallen in love with this sport and just like that, we were all sitting there with a season fallen short of his personal goals of reaching state.  All the effort of extra practices and controlling his diet and running around the neighborhood at various hours anytime he had a few extra minutes free, all that was just now not enough.

    It took a good 5-10 minutes for him to compose himself, I know the coaches had a good cry on the sidelines, when we finally went down to find him, I ran into the coaches and I know this isn't normal, but we've had a close relationship with these coaches, and tears were shed.  I thanked them for all their hard work and making my son a better person, they both said he was a one in a generation kid who just gives it his all and loves his teammates and is loved and respected by them as well.  The older coach told me it was an honor to have worked with such a fine young gentleman and we should be proud of him, he will one day make a hell of a leader in whatever he does.

    We found him a few minutes later, we cried a bit, having to accept it was all over, but he said very maturely, "ehh, I know I gave it my best shot, it is what it is, I'm ok."  In the end, he was right, in all things, you prepare as best you can, and then hope things fall in place.  They won't always go your way, but that is just life.  You are still a winner if you know you did your best.  He wrestled for three years, the first one in Covid time, where half the meets didn't even have a wrestler in weight category.  I still think he was great, in his senior season, he did not lose to anyone from Austin, he had 8 total loses, all from wrestlers from out of town, against his 24 wins or something like that.  I say for a kid who came in late to the sport, he did pretty damn good.

8/4/23 Took A Long Break?

     Sorry for those few that followed but I just got to a point where I needed to stop writing and try a different course for a while.  The last semester of high school for Mijo was both the best and worst of times, in a sense.  I could not have asked for a better time with my boy and the adventures we went through, it was truly a fun time.  I cannot complain about anything, yes it was expensive, we probably paid for too many random meals with too many friends, and I might have even gotten in a tiny bit of trouble at work for missing more than normal, but you can't get that time back and, in the moment, it felt like the right thing to do.  I only say worst of times, because we all knew it was the last time, we were doing everything we did and that puts a sadness to things, the ending of a long journey, especially when it has been such a fun and fruitful time.

    Where to begin?  I have to finish the thought on wrestling from the last blog in February.  The wrestling season had not ended, so I didn't even get to finish that story.  Up to that point, the Bryan tournament was his best outing, with a 3rd place finish against a lot of good competition.  That was eclipsed by the district meet, as again he came in 3rd place, losing only one match again and allowing him to set his sights on trying to go all the way to state.  It was really a stressful time; he was wanting to go in and practice at 6:00am and then staying until 8:00pm or so to also get a workout in after school.  He managed to get himself into possibly the best shape of his life.  Mijo has always been a heavyset boy, but at 260, he was looking just thick and muscular, and running and competing every day, he was just a beast ready for action.  I could not be prouder of him; he was and is such a confidant guy that I was sold we would be going to the next level.  Along with him, his girlfriend also made regionals and so did a host of his friends, so to say the district meet was a glorious party and celebration is putting it lightly.  I loved seeing his close friends also qualify, meaning they all had some stake in the game, and continued practicing together.

    Regionals, however, was not the same thing.  It started great, the girlfriend won her first match, and then Mijo matched her by winning his first match, but then the wheels came off and things just fell apart.  We have an app that shows the wrestlers and how they did and slowly we saw everyone we had followed, such as the kids that came in first and second against Mijo also losing their matches.  Mijo lost his next match against a kid that didn't look threatening, he wasn't a big muscular specimen, some kids are, this kid was just very good at a couple of moves and he kept trying this one move until he got our son pinned, in one of the fastest pins, the referee did not give him half a chance to try and break free, it was heartbreaking.  What can I say?  After this, most of our wrestlers had already endured a loss, and since they were lower weights, by the time Mijo had his third match, he was about the only Cougar left, save for the heavyweight girl, who also survived her first match.

To be con't.

2/22/23 The Wild Season That Was Wrestling?

     There is no denying that we absolutely fell in love with the sport of wrestling in this house, just from the passion that Mijo had and the intensity he involved himself with it.  He had been telling us and everybody around him that his goal was to make it to state, ever since he came a step short a year ago, technically qualifying for regionals as an alternate, but also not being able to compete further in that position.  Last year, he went 12-11, an honorable record, and to note, the best one on the team, along with his girlfriend, who is the female team captain, so they both went back and forth as to who is the better wrestler, pound for pound.

    This season started a tad rough, the football team made it to the playoffs, so it was an extra week that took him off schedule, they couldn't get involved with wrestling until football ended, so the first tournament came, and they were honestly not ready.  Adding to that, Mijo was still nursing a high ankle sprain which was in its fifth week of healing, and I can gladly say, it did not really seem to bother him down the schedule, but it did make us nervous that he would re-injure himself for coming on the mat too soon.  He was also sharing the heavyweight spot with his friend, week in and week out, which was good for helping him take it easy, but I also wanted him to claim those easy wins, to improve his record down the line.  For example, in the Georgetown Meet, he gave two very easy wins to his buddy so that he would get some wrestling experience, but only after evaluating that the heavyweights for those other schools looked like new kids.  In all, he gave away 3-4 easy wins, but still walked into the last tournament at 18-6, if I remember correctly.

    His best tournament before the holidays was the one at Bryan, Texas.  It is a huge tourney, and they were ready with a warehouse building set up with 20 mats.  There was wrestling all day, the week before breaking for the holidays.  On one end, the boys' varsity team was fighting on maybe 4 mats, then the varsity girls, for probably 4 mats, then the JV boys and girls, and they even had a rookie division to break them down even more.  Mijo did very well, placing 3rd in the varsity division 2 category, with 15 other wrestlers.  His friend came in third in the JV heavyweight category, and the freshman linemen they talked into joining also got 3rd in the rookie division, also as a heavyweight.  These were the best of times, even if the extra-long days were murder on our bodies, I wouldn't have missed any of it for anything.

    There were some shitty tournaments, I can't lie, the one in San Antonio was a shit show, most all the wrestlers were out after two matches, which was rare for Mijo to go in and lose two and out right away, most tournaments are double elimination, but he told us he was in the midst of a cold, possibly Covid.  Anyways, the end of the season came too fast and not fast enough.  Part of me wishes this could go on indefinitely, but that is the beauty of life, even the best things come to an end.  

To Be Con't.

2/21/23 Took A Break?

     Hello again, I have been taking a break, but these past two months have been so packed with life, I just felt a need to get back to recording it, somehow.  I stopped writing on New Year's, I had just hit a wall where it felt like I was forcing myself to write and there just isn't anything exciting or new on some days, so I will be changing my efforts and only writing on some days, if I have something new to report on or complain about.  That being said, there was the whole conclusion to Mijo's wrestling season, of which we were heavily invested emotionally, and it was draining when we came to the end of it, I will write a day or two or three on that, Boy moved to a house, still renting, but a house seems to be the right steppingstone before committing to buying their first home.  Other than that, my folks and family are still all puttering around, we are getting ready for Baby A to graduate, he is still an active athlete and doing track and field and actively trying to get recruited to play football in college, Wife is still being bossy and working in San Antonio.

    I guess with that, I'll stop and get back into it...