3/31/15 To Sell Or Not To Sell?

    This has been our biggest dilemma of the past few months.  A few months ago I was sure we would not be moving anytime soon.  Things can change quickly.  At this moment, I can say I am 50/50 on whether staying here and selling our old house or selling this house and moving back to our old house.
    The biggest pro to staying here is Chubs.  He hears us talking about this and he gets upset.  He likes the school he goes to and the friends he has.  I keep telling him even if we stay, in another year you are still going to another school and then you will still be with different kids.  The other pro to staying here is the hassle of moving everything just seems daunting.  It sucked when we moved everything over, and we have only added more furniture in the last seven years.  I am also not sure my huge ego and pride can take downsizing like a little bitch.  I like having extra room to move around in.  Sometimes, I go and hang in the guest room upstairs just to watch TV or write in privacy. During the week, when I come home early and Chubs is sleeping with Wife, I will just lay down in the guest room, I like the bed in there.
    The cons or negatives of staying here is that now Boy pretty much moved out, he doesn't want to hang out with us old farts, so it is just the three of us living in this huge 5 bedroom house, thanks Mom.  It was only a couple months ago that my brother was living here, but currently, only 2 bedrooms are being lived in and when I work, Chubs really sleeps with Wife, so we need 1.5 rooms.  The real con is the mortgage, thanks to the creeping taxes, our mortgage is now ~$3200.  When we moved in seven years ago, it was closer to $2400.
    Now for some pros, if we move.  The mortgage on the other house is about $900, right off the bat, we would be saving over $2300 a month without doing anything.  We supposedly have a bunch of equity, which of course the banks won't let us use to refinance, but if we sell, we could see $90-100k profit.  This would pay off all our credit debt, and possibly even Boy's Jeep, maybe a new Rolex for Daddy.  So if we move, all our financial stress just disappears, but then we live in a house 1/3 the size of what we have.
    Some cons, naturally, are much less space to live in.  Some of the neighbors over there, were not that great.  It is an older neighborhood, and although I hate the HOA telling me what to do, I hate that some people really don't care about the upkeep of their houses.
    An option that has been pitched around is move over there, temporarily, then move to a midsize house, something totally different.  I might like that idea, but only if the new property has some space.  I want to have an oversized storage shed to keep my boat and RV on the property and space to tinker if I feel like it.  So we are not sure what to do, Wife says she backs whatever I decide 100% and keeps saying I am not  a failure if we do move.  That is the rub, I do feel a bit like I bit more than I could chew, maybe I should just choke on it.  That'll learn me.

3/30/15 We Are Made Of Star Dust and Turds?

    Carl Sagan said "The cosmos is within us.  We are made of star-stuff...".  Lawrence M Krauss goes further "the amazing thing is that every atom in your body came from a star that exploded.  And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand.  It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: you are all stardust.  You couldn't be here if stars hadn't exploded..."
    Those are really beautiful words.  If we accept that the universe is billions of years old and we believe the scientists with all their fancy technical equipment and degrees and theories.  Yes, we are created in a soup from atoms from all over the galaxy.  This earth is here right now and it is our home, but in due time the whole solar system will either collapse when the sun burns out, or possibly our galaxy (milky way) collides with another galaxy.  When either of these options occurs, our matter will then be strewn throughout the galaxy, and thus one day a star will burn with fragments of us within it.  This of course, over several billion years, not next year.
    While we are here, we have the capacity to open and discover secrets of the universe.  We all start out with this wonderful ability, and as I read in Happy Accidents, even when not looking to make breakthrough discoveries, sometimes they still happen.
    The flip side to this, is that although we all posess the ability to be great, few of us, get to be great. I have given up any notions that I will matter long term, but that does not mean that I believe that of my boys.  I will keep feeding them with anything that encourages and leads them to scientific pursuits.  Their success collectively becomes our success.  Anything that improves us as humans, I consider a good and positive thing.
    Do we have to believe that people that show no interest in anything but themselves, that go through life just taking, never giving, never contributing, are they too made of star dust?  Is it not possible that in other stars, there was also poop, and thus technically they are also of star stuff, but mostly the equivalent of the beaks and assholes of the star stuff remains?
    It is easy to say "but he was given more opportunities to succeed, thus it is unfair to compare apples to oranges."  This is america, everyone starts out on equal footing, until the parents start tripping their own kids, letting them stay home, not pushing them in school, trying to be a kids' friend.  Everyone is or can be an apple on the first day of school.

3/29/15 I Wasn't Going To Say Anything?

    Those are bullshit words.  I wasn't going to say anything means I was going to wait until the right time to say something, like when you piss me off.  I have company again on night shift, and honestly, I like the guy, I believe he means well.  His energy though is always high, he's like an energy drink that figured out how to wear pants and walk.
    We do work, that like it or not requires a delicate touch, I move slow around the tools, I'm a big fat-ass, I would hate to bump the tool and make it move, or break something on it accidentally.  This guy is always in a rush, runs into the heavy curtains which are meant to isolate the tools further from vibrations and noise, and he takes swings at them like he is going to start a fight with them.
    He likes to joke, and I'll go with the flow, I've worked with some people there 16 years or so, and never cracked a wise ass comment with them, but if you are going to attempt to be funny and crack wise with me, I hope you can handle the volley.   He likes to dish it, but he does not like to take it.  In the beginning he had a couple of "mexican" jokes, I love a good mexican joke, once I figured his angle, I took it from him by coming in "sweeping" with my hands.  Or "if you want that job completed, give it to the mexicans white boy".  He is always worried that our company (we have a division because we are two companies sharing the space, but their tools used to be tools we ran so I can run his tools, but he can't run ours) is going to take over the work they are doing.  I always mess with him about being in on OT doing the work he couldn't do, so thanks for being incompetent.
    So I find out he is running the most delicate of tools.  These tools are placed over sections of flooring where photo equipment was installed (our floor space is an old Fab) because concrete is 20feet thick to reduce vibrations.  Tools have their own rooms and curtains and foam insulation on the walls, everything to keep vibrations down, then Mr. Monster Energy drink walks in.  So I joked no way, you can't be running that tool, you're a bull in a china shop, and I can't imagine you have the patience to image.  I feel these things about me, I was trained to image, but I avoid it most of the time.  Although, I am currently being re-trained to image as we are kind of short handed.
    Well, everything was fine, I was working away, then he explodes and starts saying "you don't think I belong here" and "you don't think I can run these tools"?  This was hours after we had joked, I had gone to lunch and come back.  I corrected him after I figured what he was talking about, explaining I didn't think you had the patience to sit in there and blah blah blah.  To which he snaps back with "I wasn't going to say anything about your music, but it fustrates me, I'm trying to concentrate and your blasting that awful music wailing away".  Well thanks for saying something, I'll go get my earphones.  He had been taking cracks at my singing, and I thought it was the back and forth wise cracking that he created.  I told him this is why I like working alone at nights, I love doing my own thing, blasting the music, singing along, watching Netflix occasionally, or whatever.
    Like I say, I like the guy, I am constantly helping him, trying to coach him because he is constantly asking me to help him.  But seriously, don't feed the bear, he might bite you.

3/28/15 Restful Day?

    Today (3/27/15) was a restful day.  Saying that, on one hand means it was boring but on the other, it also means we finally had a quiet night at home.
    We went off for Spring Break last week, which we got back from Galveston on Friday and within a half hour I was on my way to work.  I worked Friday night, was off Saturday for Boy's birthday (and we had a bunch of family here from both sides), then worked Sunday night aas OT.  Monday started my regular work week which I managed to fit in trimming the backyard, Wife had cut it with the lawn mower, then I started power washing the driveway.  I worked 12 hours Monday night, then Tuesday was Boy's actual birthday and Wife wanted to do something for him, she was going to go to San Marcos to have dinner, but of course at the last minute wanted me to go to.  I told her if he comes up, we'll go eat, otherwise have fun by yourselves.  He moved out a freaking month ago, and now he can't drive his lazy ass up during the week?  If it were up to me he'd still live here, Anus!  Anyways, dinner was good at Longhorn Steakhouse, but it kinda screwed up my night, dinner wise, I am used to eating much later.  Wednesday was another normal night, then Thursday was another friend's birthday dinner that we got invited to.  Again, I tell Wife "you go, get me a burger on way home".  Of course, this falls on deaf ears, "come with me, I want you to go" (fake whine fake whine).
    Again, I join them for dinner way earlier than I like at Hula Hut which is on the river by downtown, the place is probably pretty enough during the day, but man, it is a pain in the ass to find, get to, and park at.  I don't know why we keep trying, we know everybody, at times we've loved each other as "family".  We've been to Florida and New Orleans with these people, Boy grew up with the kids, but we get together and it is fustrating at times.  First of all, act human, put your freaking phones away, everybody is in their own world, Wife and I might as well have gone and ate by ourselves, we hardly communicate with anyone.
    I went back and finished another 12 hour shift.  Today, I was off, picked up Chubs, went to HEB, bought to make shish kabobs, and other BBQ stuff.  Putting shish kabobs together is a pain in the butt, but I managed to do all the crappy work before Wife got home from work, around six.  We then grilled, sat in the backyard table for first time in 6-7 months and enjoyed the sun going down.  I had 1 Redd's Apple Ale, Chubs said "ooh, buy those dad", from the commercial of the apple hitting guys on the head.  If I take drinking advice from a 10 year old, you know I'm not a hard drinker.  Those things are OK.  Bought a six pack in Galveston, still have three in the fridge.
    We ate around 8pm, saw Backstrom, which has Dwight Schrute from The Office playing a detective, he is having fun with the role, it's an entertaining show.  Then we managed to see 2 episodes of House Hunters before I fell asleep on sofa before 10pm.  Boring night, but I think I really needed it.  I am writing this at about 2am, and I feel much better now than I did at 10pm.

3/27/15 Happy Accidents?

       While in Galveston during Spring Break I found this book, Happy Accidents at Kroger.  I had been telling Chubs about paying attention that sometimes the biggest discoveries in science have been by accident.  This book is about 400 pages long and covers about 200 of these discoveries.  It was very interesting and I am glad to add it to my collection of informative books.  About half of the discoveries are science based, such as the discovery of fission or nylon.  But a lot of them are fun discoveries of stuff we use day to day, such as Levi's or even ice cream cones. 
    Surely, the biggest "accidental" discovery was Columbus looking for a short cut to India for the spice trade and finding a continent Europe was unaware of.  Columbus died thinking he had found the short cut.  Amerigo Vespucci forged ahead and in 1501 landed and named Brazil and the west indies (named by Columbus) were part of a vast new continent between Europe and Asia.
    Brandy was also an accidental discovery.  Turns out, Dutch merchants trying to ship wine from France to the Netherlands decided to lessen the cost of shipping by distilling out the water from the wine,  which upon arrival to the Netherlands, the water could be added back.  After tasting the condensed version, the Dutch decided to market the new product as "brandewign" (burnt wine).  This became Anglicized and eventually became brandy.
    Smallpox vaccination came from a milkmaid telling an apprentice Edward Jenner working under surgeon Daniel Ludlow that she could never get smallpox because she had contracted and survived cowpox, a mild viral infection of cows.  After completing his medical training, he remembered the milkmaids words.  Looking into it further, he noticed milkmaids rarely contracted smallpox even when exposed to people who had it.  He took an infection from a milkmaid, scratched up the 8yr old arm of his gardener's son and rubbed it in.  The boy got the mild cowpox, and got over it within a week.  To test whether the boy was now protected, he inoculated the boy with smallpox and the boy did not develop the disease.  His work helped in eliminating smallpox from the earth.  Although it was a dick move to infect the son of his gardener.
    These are some of the examples of "discoveries" made accidentally which have shaped how and even where we live.  These contributions to society are as great and sometimes greater as the more sophisticated and thought out solutions that come out of think tanks or universities by men and women who spend their whole lives chasing a solution for a problem the rest of society doesn't even realize needs solving.
   

3/26/15 Round And Round We Go?

I once was a cricket who lived in a thicket

I ate nothing but stuff from the dump

I liked to jump on my wife it was a good life

until the frog ate me in one glump.

So then I'm a frog who lived in a bog

wasted most of the day in bed.

I still enjoyed delicious kisses with Missus

until the fish came and made me dead.

Then I was a fish who had but only one wish

not to end up on somebody's plate.

skinny dipping with Lucy was juicy and got me quite goosy

but then came the cat who sealed my fate.

Being a cat was really top hat

it was nice to have multiple lives

I got busy with Lizzy, but shh there was also Breezy and Kizzy

I wasn't paying attention I ended up between those canines.
Doggy style indeed gave me piles of smiles for miles
man's best friend indeed I did try
but harder to barter with Carter for his darter, almost gave up but caught her in the farter
soon after of course I did die.
Now I'm a man bought me a van and a tan in a can
time to multiply with Vicky.
but she has bills which really kills all my thrills and gives me bad chills
I die of a cricket bite mostly cause they are icky.

3/25/15 The Night We Crashed In High School?

    In high school, I hung out with knuckleheads.  They weren't bad people, just people that didn't think very clearly.  By 11th grade I was done hanging out with guys.  My perfect weekend night was eating some pizza at the local Pizza Hut, then finding a nice quiet place to get it on.  Occasionally, I found myself out with my boys.  On this particular night, we managed to get about seven guys into a Subaru made for 4 people, and they called three of us the Fat Boys (popular rap group back then) so it was kinda thick with beaners in that poor car.
    I don't know why, but our fearless leader was driving us to this private river or part of a river where it would be cool to swim.  It is a small town and most everybody knows stuff like this, but he had info that he needed to prove.  The weird part was that it was raining/drizzling, so no one was going to go swimming anyway.  Add to that, his windshield wipers didn't work, and he actually had a hand out and was trying to work the wipers and drive stick with a guy sitting in front with the manual stick between his legs.  He would yell, shift, and the guy would shift, it was a mess, I at least sat passenger, and was not stuck in the backseat where four other dudes were crowded in.
    We wound up on some dirt road on the side of the river that nobody really goes, it's private property but he knew a guy who knew a guy, so it was ok.  He's going kind of fast because he is sure of where he is going, the road is muddy and we slip and slide into deep tire marks made probably by farm equipment, bottoming out here and there.  The whole trip was nowhere near my idea of fun.  But he is sure of where we are going, I am sure Ozzy Ozbourne was blasting through the radio, because that is what dudes listened to back then.
    We go probably 4-5 miles into this dirt/mud road and he's hauling ass and saying somewhere around here, and the car smells of testosterone and stinky dude, thinking it can't get much worse, then WHAM!!!! end of the road.  We hit a ditch where our road ended and another met it at a T.  The car went into a ditch and just stopped, luckily, my nose stopped my 300lbs along with the other 500lbs seating behind me when it was smashed on the dashboard, I don't know how it didn't break, but blood went everywhere.  The guy riding on the stickshift broke his nose and his arm.  Another guy in the backseat broke his arm, and there were some scrapes and plenty of bitching and moaning to go around.
    It was now drizzling, we were a good ten miles out of town, there were no cell phones or anything like that.  The only thing to do was start walking back home.  The car was totaled, we left it there.  My nose bled for awhile, but eventually stopped.  It hurt for a couple days, but it was ok.  The guy in the middle broke his arm at the socket before playing football so he said if we pulled it, it would go back into its place.  So he did something like that.  The other guy made a sling out of a shirt and we walked.  Dammit, we walked past all that mud the car had barely gotten through.
    At one point, we crossed the river at the paved road and our fearless leader was contemplating jumping in because he felt so bad/guilty about screwing half of us up.  We talked him down, nowadays, we would say "stop being a little bitch", but different times.  Once we got past that, there was a ballroom and a house, we called his folks, and probably other folks.  I didn't tell my folks about this for a while.  I went to my friend's house and slept it off.  There was no alcohol involved, none of us were into drinking, now eating, yes, but not getting drunk.  This was just stupid guy stuff.

3/24/15 Boy Turns 21?

    Today my Boy officially turns 21.  We celebrated his birthday with family on Saturday, but I do believe Wife will go see her baby and feed him in San Marcos.  He said he has a test and lab until 5pm, but he is available afterwards.  I am glad he hasn't turned into a kid that needs to celebrate everything with alcohol.  It doesn't seem to be a big deal so far.
    We keep plenty of alcohol in the house, but I didn't start drinking until I was about 35.  I don't really dig it, I might have a beer on the weekends.  If we are "partying" in the hot tub with friends I can get drunk and handsy, but that doesn't happen much. 
    I've told Boy since he was 17 or 18 to feel free to have a drink in the house, so you know what happens to you.  He declares himself a "scotch" man but can only handle about a finger on the rocks in a glass.  Usually, when he gets some, he ends up pouring his into my glass.  It makes him sleepy.  To my knowledge he doesn't drink away from the house, his friends are mostly nerdy, so I believe him.  He doesn't hide from us when he comes home or anything suspicious.
    We are very proud of Mijo.  He was diagnosed with dyslexia in 3rd grade.  I have been tough on him, not letting him get away with "I can't do it because of my handicap".  His writing is admittedly bad, but he still manages to get past his classes.  He doesn't suffer as much in the sciences, and actually shines there.  He was having a bit of a hard time at ACC (Austin Community College) because he was taking all his basics and reading and writing were a big part of his classes.  His GPA was not as good as he wanted, but he got into Texas State and now he gets to take mostly science classes.  He seems like the little swan coming into his own.  He is downright beautiful in his element, loves his calculus classes, and everything that scares most non-academics. 
    He is even looking for summer internships in companies like my own.  I talked to my supervisor, but people here drag their feet on doing stuff out of the norm.  He is well on his way to becoming a man, works on the weekends, has his little apartment in San Marcos.  He is no longer our little boy who needs an occasional video game from Best Buy.  He just orders crap for himself from Amazon.  I want to stand in his way and push him back into our house, but when you do things right, you get an adult that eventually needs to spread his wings and fly.  Fly little bird!  Fly!!

3/23/15 Spring Break Is Done, Back To Reality?

    We had a busy spring break, I think overall it was very good.  We vacationed in Galveston, saw some sights, imagined ourselves living there on one of those beautiful pier homes, came back with a couple days left to celebrate Boy's 21st birthday, and now back to the grind.  I am now back at work, being productive, while Wife was cutting the grass in the backyard, felt a little bad for her, grass was up to her knees in places.
    It finally felt like spring today, rain is out of the area, there were some blue skies, and I do believe that is what we needed to start getting the yard/pool area in order.  I will start the slow process of getting the green algae/ dead leaves out of the bottom of the pool.  Hopefully, I can turn the water blue within a couple weeks.  What I really want to clean is the hot tub, it has been a good 4-5 months since we've gotten in it.  I took parts off the pump to make sure it or the heater did not freeze, so it will take more than cleaning the water to get it going again.  A couple years ago, we had a hard freeze and it cost me the heater pump, so I don't take chances anymore, that was a $1000 lesson.  I do believe we are done with hard freezes though for this season, anyway.
    Another pain in the butt problem to fix will be to decide whether we sell our rental house, move back to it, or simply get new tenants.  Our current tenants just told us they are out come end of April.  We have been feeling a bit of a pinch, financially, our current house payment went up $300 a month last year, we are absorbing all the overflow costs of Boy so he can go to college, which means anything above $3500 (max loans per semester) for his tuition and books is going on credit cards, we got him his Jeep, lost my brother's rent money $600, so we are seriously thinking life would be easier if we sold in this hot market our big house, and moved back to our starter home.  Rent would drop by almost $2400 to $850.  Plus we stand to make a tidy profit from selling our newer house.  If we sell older home, we no longer have to put up with renters, plus we'll make a good amount of money to free us of some credit debt, giving us some needed breathing room.  If we get renters, it is high time to stop being so generous and charge an appropriate rent, it's not like people appreciate what we do for them.  I keep losing money on the house because I always want to help friends in need.
    Big Mando will grow a hard outer shell, like that chocolate you pour on ice cream that hardens with the cold.  No more Mr. Nice Guy, unless you want to put some boobies in my face.  Then maybe.

3/22/15 Birthday Lunch At Pappadeaux?

    Today, we had a birthday party for Boy.  He will be 21 on 3/24, but that is during the week and thus it is easier to schedule family together on the weekend.  I decided on Pappadeoux because I thought the meal should be a little fancy, and special.
    My parents came along with my younger brother and Wife's parents came along with her younger sister, brother, his wife and about six kids total.  My boy added another three friends of his for a total of 20 people.
    Wife had called ahead and was able to reserve seating for us at 4pm.  Of course, we left the house at 330pm and took about 40 minutes to get across town.  They held the table for us.  It was crazy packed in the restaurant, considering we went in for lunch time.  Wife heard a girl getting told while we were up front waiting to sit that it would be a three hour wait.  Good thing we called ahead.
    I sat at one end of the table with Wife to my left, my parents to my right, followed by my inlaws next to Wife.  Boy and his friends filled in after my dad and brother, then all the rowdy kiddos at the far end, Chubs holding court as the centerpiece on the other end.  He said he would entertain the kids menu, but within two minutes was suggesting to my wife he would rather eat the half chicken thing at $19.99.  "Uhh, no.  You can eat the chicken tenders at $5.95"  was my response.   Uncharacteristically, he gave in without too much arguing.  As long as they made it spicy.  I told him to tell the waiter and back to his seat he went.
    I had the chilean bass with crab pieces on top and a side of red mashed potatoes.  It was really good, but delicate in flavor.  I like hardier stuff usually, but this is not a steak restaurant, so I chose not to order from their cow section.  By the way, Pappadeoux is kind of a cajun/Louisiana type place.
    Wife and my mom and dad for that matter, all had the fried fish combo platters.  I was tempted to get that, but most of the time, that stuff is too greasy and leaves me feeling sick.  They do fried fish well, the batter was very light, it was mostly fish, not covering, both my wife and mom gave me large chunks of fried fish, tilapia, I think.  It was delicious when I added just a touch of lemon.
    Plenty of pictures were taken, Boy even got a piece of key lime pie which I tasted as well.  I liked that too.  All in all, everyone said the food was good.  My brother kind of complained that it would have been better going to Red Lobster, but he enoys complaining.  I think if I gave him $500, he'd complain it made his wallet look fat.
    Anyways, my brother in law was teasing my wife about us paying, or it's not a party, it's a gathering, so we were prepared to swallow the bullet, but my parents, brother, in-laws, and brother in law all coughed up some serious cash to help out.  The only ones that got a free meal were Boy's friends, but they're in college, and I am happy to pay for them.
    The bill was $598, which would have hurt, but we got more than half the money from everybody contributing.  I can't say enough nice things.  The restaurant was top notch, and this is why I didn't mind cutting our vacation short by a day.  We live in a great city with ample opportunities to do things right.  My boy was a happy camper at the end of the night.

3/21/15 Old Pipes Or A Monster Poop?

    Wife thinks this is funny, as I was stressing on how to fix my dilemma, she is waiting for a high five from me dead panning "write a blog on this, mofo!!"   So here goes....

    I don't think I did anything different, I did my business after a hardy breakfast and some coffee, we were going to take it easy on Wednesday as it was supposed to rain, so our plan was to sleep late, then maybe go for a cruise.  Maybe I used too much paper to clean up but when I went to flush, it did that very depressing circle around then slowly rise.  It did not work.  I was like "dammit!!"  At the house, it happens rarely, and one or two pumps of the plunger, and the mess flushes itself, almost apologizing for any inconvenience to me.

    This was not one of those poops, this one was angry and held strong.  I tried flushing maybe twice, then doing the plunger thing.  I almost panicked, yelled at Wife, she has to give me crap "what?, where are you?"  When I'm agitated, stupid questions are not what I want to hear "how big is this place, if I call you, don't you think I need you?"  Eventually, she comes over and really what is she gonna do other than gag and bring Chubs in as spectator???  She did suggest, just shower, the water will go down, then do the plunger when the water is low.  I looked at her with save me in my eyes, but I know she wasn't going in there.

    I showered, closed the lid on the toilet, and by this point, I had even turned off the water at the wall because the water came up to within about half an inch of escaping the toilet sanctuary.  It was scary, I thought I was clever, flushing and figuring if water comes up, just pull up floating ball in upper tank.  It stops the water, but then what?  If it is not leaving the bowl, it just stays there, and I wasn't going to stand there all day holding the floating ball.  I figured if I turned off the water, problem gone.  Sure enough, after I showered, the water had come down.  I attempted to plunge it, but without water there is nothing to push on.  I flushed it again, and the water was back up to the top of the rim, before I turned it off again.

    This is now about an hour later, I am running out of ideas.  At a certain point, I am scooping out water and stuff with a styrofoam Buc-ee's cup and ferrying it to the other toilet, with the trash can underneath, this really was the shit from hell.  After removing most of the floating debris, I plunged it about ten times, and still nothing.  If I was home, I would have run to Home Depot and bought a "snake" to run down the pipe, but this is not my home.  I did the only thing left for me to do, involve another man.  I called the maintenance office, hoping a burly man answered, no some Sweety-Pie answered and I had to explain what was going on.  I repeated "the plunger ain't gonna cut it, send a guy with a snake or what ever you use".  She said OK.  

    I told Chubs, sorry guy, but I am going to throw you under the bus, he said "what?  I didn't do it!"  I sat there, like a mom, watching my baby turd holding on for dear life, by now we've bonded, it's been closer to two hours.  The door knocks, Chubs opens the door and very quickly starts "umm Sir, it wasn't me, it was my dad, he wants to blame me, but I didn't do it!!!"  I just think "little shit", then might as well just be grown up about it.  Explained to the older man that I had been working that plunger for an hour and change and nothing.

    He was the coolest man I've ever met in a time of distress.  He said it wasn't me, it was probably the pipes, they are old.  Then he said in a high rise building, plunging never works.  What you have to do is stick the plunger in and get a sort of vibration going, he did a motion for about ten seconds, then he flushed, and voila, unclogged.  He asked if we needed new towels or anything else, I said no, I was smart enough to keep everything inside the toilet.  Ten minutes later, we were out on a cruise, looking for a salad to eat, just to clean out my pipes.

3/20/15 Moody Gardens Is Old-ish But Still Kinda Cool?

    We went to both of the Moody Garden pyramids this past week.  One of the pyramids is dedicated to marine life, while the other focuses on the different rain forests.  Both have a main job of conserving endangered species of animals and plants.   The Moody Gardens area has itself grown a lot, Schlitterbahn is right outside the doors of the pyramids, along with various theater venues in IMAX, 3D, and 4D variations, a spa and hotel, golf course, and of course a zip line course for the cooler kids.

    The marine pyramid was divided into four sections.  One had an aquarium with sea lions, one was a huge aquarium with a tunnel going right through and had probably a hundred species, with 4-5 different shark varieties.  Then there was a good sized exhibit with the various sizes of penguins, from emperor on down.  The final exhibit was kind of a mangrove outcropping, but maybe it was under construction as not much appeared to be happening.  It had mangrove trees like in the Florida everglades, where the roots are supposed to be home to many species of animals.

    The tunnel of glass with aquarium all around was great, probably spent half an hour just following the different sharks and manta rays both easily in the 7ft range swimming around like they owned the place.  Along the way, there were also many smaller aquariums/exhibits showing smaller sealife, such as octopi, jellyfish, baby sharks that were born in house.  Maybe the one negative was the smell, it was very fishy, and I wasn't sure whether to blame the penguins or the sea lions but man!!!

    The other pyramid was very different, you enter a long hall way going around the pyramid and along the way there are small habitats for snakes and critters, but also a lot of interesting information on the walls.  After going a ways, there is a staircase that takes you up, and when you get upstairs, there is a set of doors that takes you out into the clear glass pyramid.  You start out on the second level and the first thing that hits you is the heat, all week it has been in the 70s, it was 95 degrees and 50% humidity in there, for the sake of the plants and animals.  I broke into a sweat quick.  There are small vents that push cooler air and I found myself looking for that cool air as I moved through.  After awhile you go around, then back into a building of sorts, walk down and comeback out in the lower level.  They really do pack a lot of interesting stuff into these two pyramids.  My favorite part was seeing the vampire bats and as we were there, one of the employees went in to change their food, blood, and all the bats went into a se ction and stayed together.  Once she was done, they spread apart and were happy to be doing their own thing.  This habitat was much bigger than the one at the San Antonio Zoo, other place I have seen vampire bats.  Plus they had a blue light instead of the creepy red light.

    I was suggesting to my wife that she should bring kids to see this, she agreed it was fun and informative, two criteria for summer field trips which she is in charge of from time to time.   We ended the day there by sitting outside watching the sun go down and some serius fog coming in as we drank some soda.  Chubs of course waited patiently so he could start whining again about going to Target to get another action figure from Assassin's Creed, his newest video game interest.  Yeah, as much as the last sentence doesn't fit the tone of the blog, is exactly how he sounded as we were trying to enjoy our evening.  

3/19/15 Chubs Is Maturing?

    Chubs is starting to show signs of maturing.  Or at least hitting those terrible years of being a teenager.  While walking around that small outlet mall, we/he decided it was time for a wallet.  We went into Coach because mijo should have the nicest, but the wallets in there were between $128 and $159.  Even at 50% off, it was not going too happen.

    We went to a couple other places, and eventually he found a wallet while I turned my back on them for a minute.  Wife found one with a pocket for change.  No way would I have talked him into that, but he still values quarters, so he was excited.

    Wife also gave him the change, wallet was only $7, and she must have paid with a $10 as there were two dollars to dispose of, and gues where the two dollars went?  That's right, Chubs was now a powerful member of the buying public.  With his new riches he "needed" to go back to Toys R Us, and check it out.  Of course, nothing is that cheap in that store, as he found out.  We left, but oh man, that wallet is burning on his leg.  He keeps checking it and suggesting places we might want to go where he can spend some money.  We are on this island with hardly any stores, so he hasn't had luck, and Wife keeps giving him change.  Last he mentioned, he was up to $26.  This is all Wife as I haven't had any cash in hand.  I am punishing myself, until I get some OT money.

    Another sign of him becoming a pre-teen.  After we were done at the Moody Gardens Aquarium, he threw a fit.  He wanted to go to the movies, the Moody Gardens advertises an IMAX theatre, but they show ocean movies and those type, not really anything like Spongebob.  Anyways, he managed to work himself into a fit, and before we knew it he was actually crying in the back seat.  I stopped for gas, at a newer gas station with the attached Burger King and Wife suggested a soda or something.  He wasn't done tantrumming in the back seat, so she went in by herself.  After I was done cleaning the window and gassing, I told him going in or sitting here by yourself?  If you stay out here you are not leaving the car, those bums might steal you.  He jumped out of the car, and followed me in.

    Once he ate a burger and drank his soda, he was much better, he made up some lame excuse that he misses his house.  

    He has also been taking swipes at me, I'll make some lame joke to tease him and he'll punch me.  When we said pool was too cold, we walked over, told him to stick his foot in water, he stood there accepting that it was cold, I made some joke about him being an ice cube floating on top of the pool, he flails his arms at me, and hit me.  I'm a big boy, he's not going to hurt me, but I don't want this becoming the norm, that he hits when he has run out of words to use.  He is a work in progress, and eventually he will be as smooth and debonaire as our other son.

    We always joke that Boy is like a robot, or like the tin man, Chubs appears to be all feelings, maybe he is the cowardly lion.  I might be one man short in my quest of conquering Oz.

3/18/15 Are We Having Fun?

    We have been on vacation since Saturday.  It has been nice to change our routine, but I am not sure if we are having fun.  We are in a nice spacious condo, we stopped and got plenty of snacks and food, we have money to do activities, but so far, I can say I would almost prefer to be in Austin.  I am not a fan of all the hoopla downtown with SXSW, or whatever, but I do miss what we do.  Whether it be going to a bookstore, getting some "pan dulce" to enjoy over the weekend, maybe catching a movie at Alamo Drafthouse, going to eat at one of our regular places, or just sitting around the house with all the freedoms of having a good wifi signal.

    Wifi has been the greatest new thing of the last five-ten years.  Everything runs faster because of it.  Our phones have 3G/4G blah blah blah, and it works great around town and even in restaurants, but as soon as we get in the condo, it goes blind.  We bought Chubs a "cheap" phone since he is only ten a year and a half ago, but he is the only one sitting in here watching Netflix through his phone.  The wife and I have "better" phones and I can't even open Facebook.  Netflix, of course runs on most our TVs at home, and all our recorded programming is on those damned cable boxes, but we can't touch them until we get back.

    On top of that, the weather has not been above 75 for any amount of time, so going and getting wet on the beach is not gonna happen.  I was discussing it with Wife and in years past when we come on vacation with family or friends, we might let them take the lead and if they wanted to go to the beach, we would do it, and I might even get wet, to not be the lame one in the group.  But on our own, ehh, why go get wet and risk getting sick, or get all that sand in the car?

    Don't get me wrong, cruising around the island has been fun-ish, specially with the top down on our VW Bug.  Moody Gardens Aquarium was bigger than I thought, and it was free, after listening to a sales pitch at our timeshare, we did have a good time though the smell of fish was intoxicating.   We went and rode the ferry yesterday afternoon, and it was dark by the time we made it back from the other side where it drops you off.  It is a much longer ride than the ferry in Corpus, and the boats have a second story viewing deck, which we went and took some pictures from, but coming down Wife scraped the back of her legs (above the ankles) pretty bad.  The steps are covered with a very rough texture, almost like sand paper, to prevent people from slipping and Wife managed to step too close with both feet, and rubbed off a bunch of skin.  It's one of those situations where I look at her like "dammit, I should've left you in the car".  I know it's mean, but she had one job, walk down some stairs, and get back to the car.  Ten minutes later, we were buying peroxide and band aids and dressing material.  I was glad it didn't require a visit to the hospital.  I would have spit on it and kept going, but we are all different.

    I miss Boy too.  He wouldn't hesitate to force us into Houston.  He would just say I need some pants or a belt and that would be enough to get in that traffic from hell to find a good mall.  We were going to go to Houston Zoo, and I even got up early yesterday, but by the time we showered and ate, it was near 2pm.  I  refuse to get caught in the traffic so on the island we stay.  We ventured in as far as the nearest Buc-ee's as there was an outlet mall, but it was tiny compared to the one in San Marcos.  There was a sign of a large mall and the building was, but it was also abandoned.  There is no lonelier site than a mall that is just down to a Sears and a Gold's Gym.  The Sears had like 8 cars outside it, and the gym about 15 cars.  We didn't even get off, it was kind of scary and sad.

3//17/15 Not Impressed With Galveston So Far?

    We are here in Galveston on Spring Break vacation.   I love our accomadations, it is a two bedroom, two bath condo with a living room and small kitchen, all maybe in 800 spuare feet.  Perfect for vacationing.  We invited my folks, who I thought were going to come, they joined us last year, but turns out because of different scheduled Spring Breaks (they babysit for my sister) could not join.  Boy was supposed to come and in years past, would bring along a friend, but alas, he is a grown man with goals and agendas of his own.  He decided to stay behind and make some money for his own vacation come May (going to Disney with his friends).   At the last minute, I left open invites with two of our friends, but they both work and couldn't just up and leave like in years past.

    So it is us three, and the tone is very relaxed.  Chubs is over in the second bedroom watching TV at about 3am as of right this minute.  I had fallen asleep at 1030pm, but I told Wife I'd probably wake up around 2am to write a blog or two and that is exactly what happened.  We don't really have a schedule to keep.  Other than this afternoon which we went and listened to their pitch, they called last night when we got in that their had been changes in how they classify things and it would be in our best interest to listen to their latest pitch, I would have ignored it, but they offered tickets to Moody Gardens which my wife looked up and were worth $60 apiece.  I figure for a savings of $180 I can kill about two hours.  We were out of there and came to chill for awhile in the condo.

    Around four, we headed out for a cruise with the top down, got about 4-5 miles down the road, and I had to pull over and close the top, although there was somewhat a partly cloudy afternoon, the wind was still too chilly to enjoy the day, convertible style.  It was OK, we went down along Seawall Drive, which is like Ocean Drive in Corpus.  We stopped at a certain point and took a couple pictures, and then continued further.  My big problem is the signs that say you have to call with your phone and pay to park along the Seawall.  It doesn't say how much, and I don't know that I want to stop for more than 10-15 minutes to check out the bikini girls.  But I am also cheap and untrusting, I don't want to pay by phone, then they have my credit card number, who's to say they don't charge for a longer time?

    I don't recall seeing it before, but it also seemed very chaotic, at a certain point, going east.  It was touristy, then all of a sudden, there were tons of people.  There were people sitting on their hoods like they were waiting for a parade or something.  Cars blasting music left and right, groups of Mustangs screeching their wheels at lights.  People just crossing the street anywhere, like they owned the road.  The whole scene was not really a family feel, it was a youth feeling, maybe because it is Spring Break, and there weren't enough parents around.  I have not had that feeling in Corpus Christi, which is our usual destination for Spring Break.  I'm not ready to give up, we have all week, hopefully the crowds thin a bit during the week.  I still intend to be a tourist, but I prefer to not be surrounded by other tourists.  I know life doesn't work that way.

3/16/15 Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Started Strong?

    I just finished watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and I started out liking it a lot, but I felt the writing got sloppier and the acting  just got goofier towards the end.  The premise is a group of females is rescued from a crazed end of the world type by a swat force.  We then follow the Kimmy (Ellie Kemper) character after she goes to one of those morning shows in New York.  She has an awakening and decides she needs to start her life NOW.  She decides not to head back to the small town they were from and thus prooceeds to make her life in the big city.

    She encounters one off beat character after another.  First, the drugged out hippy landlord (Carol Kane) who has a room to rent, but she will have to room with the guy living there, Titus, an over the top gay black dude who breaks into singing often and for no reason.   He starts out "normal" but as the episodes progress, he gets zanier and farcical, ending on the finale by falling down and farting on national TV.  Then comes in her employer (Jane Krakowski), who is cold, and callous, but by the end of the season is dimwitted and having nonsensical flashbacks of her indian heritage.

    Kimmy becomes a nanny for a rich woman, but is often missing and leaving her roommate to tend to the kids while she is busy saving the day/moment in every episode.  This moves forward until the last three or four episodes are about the trial of the man that had them locked up under ground.  He turns out to be Jon Hamm who cleans up nice (always plays a beautiful man, although with Tina Fey, he tends to be goofy).  He has the jury eating out of his hand, and the all in the court love him, he will surely go free unless Kimmy goes and tells the truth.

    The rest of the season (15-16 episodes) have her discovering her first kiss, dealing with issues the kids she is baby-sitting have, helping the Jane character deal with her cheating husband, helping her roommate Titus believe in himself so he can pursue his dream and become an actor.  Some of the episodes were good and focused on the premise that Kimmy had been "underground" since she was fifteen, such as still looking for her first kiss.  Other episodes were kind of good, her scheming with and against the kids, seeing who could outsmart who.

    But then the story lines just went and got rid of the kids, the guys interested in her, and seemed to focus on Kimmy confronting the Jon Hamm character.  She went back home, her "step-dad" showed up and these are the kind of characters the lost my interest in 30 Rock, which was also another Tina Fey project, her step dad was a bumbling, fumbling cop who "does heroin" to prove he's not a cop, loses his gun for no reason, chases a cat up a tree, starts a fire, all for no real reason to the story, other than to be "funny", which was not really.

    I'm not sure if there will be a second season, I do enjoy Ellie Kemper, she was also cute and perky on the Office, and I do think Tina Fey can write well, but maybe just write or act, doing both did no one any favors, and if the goal is to look "ugly" on TV, why bother, Tina Fey can be good looking, yet decided to be a lawyer with a horrible hairstyle, threw her back to the 70s with a huge perm thing on her head.  I'll watch a second season, but the goofy stuff is noot needed, it was entertaining enough just by letting the characters be themselves.  

3/15/15 Old School Fables 3?

    This is the tale of Zombie and Knucklehead.  It is very similar to the grasshopper and the ant, I admit.  But it is on my mind, my blog, so I will tell it.
    Zombie was an ornery fellow, although he was young, he didn't much fancy the temptations of youth.  He was disgusted by loud celebrations unless the noise was caused by things going boom, he did love stuff that blew up.  He got himself to school and pushed himself.  He was not the best reader, but he knew that if he did not do well, manual labor was probably in store. He was a zombie and his favorite snack was cheap brains, he loved money because he had figured Amazon had the best brains and he could order them in bulk, when he had money.
    Knucklehead, on the other hand, was good looking and a fast talker.  He was not interested in schools, brains, or anything that required his concentration for more than five minutes.  He could be seen often shaking his money maker out at the clubs where other knuckleheads hung out.  He didn't know this but when one knucklehead hangs with another knucklehead, nothing good happens.  They get exponentially dumber.  Like one has a bad idea, feeds it to the next, and he/she makes it worst.  Of course, because Knucklehead is attractive, other knuckleheads are always calling him out.  He doesn't know the word no, so he goes out every time.  This of course traps him further in his crappy job because he is never rested and thus is always stuck doing menial labor.
    Some time goes by, as it always does, Zombie is still shitty and unfriendly, but now he has finished school, he can get that job that pays him to play video games while he eats brains and even has a nanny to cut up little hamster brains to feed his baby zombies without getting his fingers dirty.  Life is good for Zombie, he takes frequent vacations to soccer matches because zombies love crowds and the potential for mayhem.  Soccer matches always have a chance of live human brains falling out of a unwary fan getting hit by hooligans.
    Poor Knucklehead, he had a good job crushing cans with his head when cars started being made out of aluminum, but some engineer figured a hammer was just as good, so Knucklehead was let go.  Sometimes he gets to wash cars, but he complains that it is cold in the winter and hot in the summer, so really there's like one week in May that is perfect and that is when he works.  Rest of the time, he is on disability.  In the fall sometimes he finds work as a nutcracker, but people know hammers do a better job, but he is still kinda cute, so some people employ him, until he complains of the headaches and migraines.
    Is there a lesson to be learned?  Yes.  Zombie needs to venture out, live a little, maybe try a kidney or a liver, why always brains?????  Knucklehead needs to be an individual who strives for something.  Focus on a little schooling now so that you're not making money the hard way in the future.  Sure, it seems fun to do what the cool kids are doing, but the cool kids will probably be doing the same thing in ten years.  And seriously Zombie, you don't have a disease, you just insist on being a jerk, cut it out, you're not special, make friends with more people and maybe get that stick out of your ass, that's why you're always in a bad mood.

3/14/15 Parallels Was Awesome On Netflix?

    I just saw a movie last night on Netflix that left me wanting more.  The name is Parallels, but I can't find much about it.  There are bands and businesses and other movies and shows with that name, so grrr.  Apparently, it started as a show pilot, but was then changed into a movie, maybe they ran short on funding, or were not picked up after all.
    The movie picks up with Ronan getting the crap beat out of him in a bare knuckle fight of some kind.  He is in a "loser" spiral, not having much direction in life, we learn later his actions caused the death of his mother, so guilt set him on a course of abandoning the rest of the family.  He gets a mysterious call from dad to meet somewhere, so he heads home, his sister also gets this sketchy call.  They are to go meet dad at an abandoned building downtown somewhere and they take a friend who lives across the street, of course he has been in love with the sister since childhood.
    They go in the abandoned building and within minutes lights flash and they look outside and the landscape has changed.  They are now in a post apocalyptic world.  Everything looks destroyed, from some sort of nuclear bomb.  They are confused and lost and in comes a fourth character, she has become a favorite of mine on "Fresh Off The Boat", Constance Wu.  She is pretty and in this movie, does a little sexy/slutty too.  She explains that the building moves every thirty six hours to a parallel universe, it is earth always, just in a different set of circumstances.  Some are more advanced, some are empty of life.  She states that she has been on the building for a long time and so far it hasn't gone back to her universe, which she appears to be waiting for.
    They are kind of looking for their dad, and it appears that he may or may not have been murdered in some of the universes, and although the mom is accepted to be dead, eventually the dad shows up and says that the mom is not necessarily dead, she is just on a different universe.
    There is other mayhem and some plot twists, such as multiple bodies of that Constance chick, which the others have not figured out.  We are left wondering whether they are good or bad, or in charge of the building.  The dad jumps out of the building right as it transports, like he is not concerned about getting left behind.  He is on a mission of his own.
    I hadn't seen a movie/show that hooked me this much in a while.  I told Wife, we are watching this together as soon as we have a night off together.

3/13/15 Friday the 13th, Boo?

    Is anyone still dopey enough to think Friday the 13th is significant?  I remember growing up and putting up with the stupid movie franchise of the same name.  I might have even seen one at the local theater back home in my teens.  I have never liked those slasher type movies, what was the point, other than the gratuitous nudity?  Back before the internet, it was worth it for a 12-14 yr old to put up with all the machete slicing for the hopes of seeing some naked breastesses and the rare but even more exotic fully nude. 
    Nowadays, actresses don't even want to bother taking off their clothes, come on, who let that happen in Hollywood?  You had one job, movie peeps, to keep the nudity going.  But with the internet, who cares?  If an actress won't take her top off, someone will catch them on vacation, or they'll steal their pictures from their cameras.  Or we wait until they get desperate for attention and strip for Playboy. 
    This year, somebody posted "oh no, Halloween falls on Friday the 13th this year."  For a second, I thought "great, people are gonna overreact, BUT Halloween is always on the 31st.  I don't know what they were smoking or thinking. 
    Chubs says the students in class are having a hard time concentrating.  I say no wonder, with stupid daylight savings time, now Friday the 13th, we get Spring Break next week, my folks were here a couple days because it was Spring Break in their part of the state.  We got Easter in a few weeks.  This year seems chock full of reasons to make regular days "special".
    As you get through the week, remember, don't go under ladders, cross a black cat's path, step on a crack (you'll break your mama's back (just cause it rhymes?)), don't say something as your friend is saying it or you owe them a coke.  Ooh, don't break a mirror (7 years bad luck), if you spill salt, spill more over your shoulder (just in case).  If your baby is being a jerk, rub a room temperature egg on his forehead.... (forget it, you're probably not a witch or a jedi, not for you).  FYI, if you are a witch, don't go swimming, you'll sink (but you already know this).
    We assign fantastical powers to so much crap, how do we get out of bed in the morning?  I also suppose these are the little things that can also make life more fun, but don't be a dope, people are going to laugh at you if you start oh I don't know saying "Bless You" when someone sneezes.  You are saving their soul?  Really?  That's the best we could come up with?

3/12/15 19 Was The Limit For Boy?

    My oldest will not be joining us for Spring Break vacation this year.  I guess we have become the latest game console to become irrelevant.  We had a good run, but last year's vacation was almost horrible.  He did not want to be with us.  This year I told him all year "if you're gonna act like an Ass, I would rather you not go."  He always looks like "whatever do you mean, father? I am the poster boy for good manners."  He pissed and moaned because he wasn't with his friends and we were kind of in the woods and there was hardly any internet/phone activity.
    This year, he has plans to go to Florida at the end of their school semester in May.  He has a chance to work extra days during the week and thus make more money to save for his trip.  He's got a decent little job as a server at Alamo Drafthouse, they pay well.  Currently though, he only works Saturday and Sunday because he has class during the week.  Since he is off all week for Spring Break, he offered to work and he said they are letting him work during the week.  I think it is SXSW so the city will be busy.  He says he has about $500 in his savings, but he's kind of dumb in that he keeps ordering stuff from Amazon and wasting away his savings.
    I never had a problem vacationing with my folks, it was usually to Corpus Christi to get out on the beach, and I have generally always liked doing that.  I started dating my wife when she was 14, I was 16 and she even joined us a couple times before we were married.  She would sleep over by my mom and that was fine, it kept me happy that they would even take her.
    I want to take it personally, as the kids say "I feel butthurt", but it is not personal, he has goals he sees as more important.  Hopefully, he'll come around and want to join us later, but it is up to him.  I will not be forcing him to join us so he can throw tantrums and pooh pooh everything we suggest.  If you join us, it is because you want to.
    I still enjoy hanging with my folks.  We have an RV and they have one too.  We park in the same RV park in Corpus and try to spend as many weekends as possible up there together during the summer.  Last summer Wife's brother bought an RV and they were in the park with us, and this year, even my in-laws have gotten an RV.  They will be hanging out with us in the RV park this summer.  I am not sure if Boy will join us.  He joined us once last summer, and then of course, he took his friends and used my RV to play host. 
    What can one do?  I call him my Little Shit, but I guess he's mostly grown.  I can't really stop him from doing what he wants to do, maybe in time, he'll realize he's missing out from family time.  Maybe I'll spoil Chubs to the max and tell Boy too bad, should've stayed with Daddy.  Nah, I'm not that petty, or am I?   

3/11/15 I Can't Drive 65?

    I generally try to stay cool under fire.  There is one situation when I cannot control my behavior and that is when I'm driving.  I lose my head when I get behind any of the brain dead citizens of our fair town.  I am usually waiting like a funny car racer when the light changes, it's go time.  I love being the lead car, even though I drive a huge fat Excursion, I will usually be in front of the pack when the light changes because I am always ready to go.  But put me behind someone who is "cruising" and I become Capt. A-hole, I hate losing even a car length to the person beside me because of someone else.

    I believe it was Adam Carolla who summed it up.  While walking on a sidewalk, you wouldn't let the stranger walking in front of you to put his arms out and allow him to dictate the pace you will be walking, forced to walk at his pace, stopping to window shop and holding you back.  This same behavior is exactly what happens when we get behind the wheel of our cars.  We are supposed to be courteous to other drivers, but some people are just horrible humans.

    Saturday night, we went to Salt Lick, which is delicious and buffet style, but it is out in the middle of nowhere.  Coming back, we were privileged to be behind a driver going about 15-20mph.  I flashed my high beams in a get your shit together kind of way, and he automatically hit a u-turn.  It was a smallish car, and I guess he kind of made his turn, guess he forgot something at the restaurant.  I then got going, and a few seconds later we got behind a convoy of cars going 35mph.  The road is curvy and it was dark, but that is a little too slow.  At this point, what can you do?  I wasn't even behind him to honk or flash, so I have to sit back, sulk and wait for a turn.  It feels so free when you can finally turn and floor it.  65 feels like an escape from that jog we had been doing, behind ole Numbnuts.

    My dad was riding in the back and he cautions me "hey, the baby is in the car (my brother's boy spent the day with us), be careful."  I snapped back "I am in the car, I am being careful!"  This is how I drive with my boys in the car, why does the baby change anything?  My dad has become old and nervous, when my wife starts up that I am being reckless, I complain but generally tone it down a bit.

    Lately, Chubs has become a vocal passenger.  He'll be playing a video game and look up and go "ahh!" my response is always a startled "what?!"  He'll say something like I thought we were gonna crash.  Then I have to say "Chubs, I've been driving for thirty years, shush it!, we're headed to Walmart, I'm not gonna crash here in the neighborhood.

3/10/15 Whoring Myself Out?

    I have now written over 100 blogs, 1 a day since the day after Thanksgiving.  I started writing this as a way to leave my thoughts on "paper" for my boys to read at a later date.  My wife then got me excited that her coworkers were all enjoying my work, then my coworkers, so at times I have skewed my efforts to be entertaining for them, but what I write is still me and pretty much true, unless I am obviously telling you I am 300 years old or worked in the ocean for 50 years when I am 43 years old.
    I had chosen not to pimp myself out, letting my work speak for itself, but today I finally got a tweeter account and will start advertising myself to hopefully the world.  Daddy needs a mansion overlooking the ocean.
    I plan on continuing the variety of writing.  I ran out of ideas for "How To Be A Man", but Boy did like those.  I personally like the fables, but they are hard to line up and come up with a lesson.  Some of my historical writings are just for my boys to know stuff that's happened to me and make sure it is written down somewhere.  I love my poems, I think some are clever and just a tad dirty, although I am trying not to be vulgar.  Those of you that know me, have to be surprised I have stayed as PG as I have, cause I do have a potty mouth.
    My wife continues to be a great source of material, and she not only ends up the butt of some of my jokes, she contributes in getting me going some days when I feel empty of anything to say.  She is a great sport, and I love her for it.  My boys can't help but provide material, Boy reads some of them, Chubs is aware of it, and I have let him read here and there when content is funny for him.  He loved Pokemon poem.
    My family has been more touch and go.  We are generally very private, and my mom keeps eyeballing me with "you better not".  My dad will start carrying on about something and then he'll mock me "he's gonna blog about this, heh heh".  I've managed to stay on that fine line of being funny without making anyone look bad, so I hope to continue on that.
    Thanks for reading, when I become filthy rich, I will let the first few of you to read me smell my wallet, it'll be the one smelling of farts and riches.  :)  I appreciate y'all!!

3/9/15 Ernest Hemingway Short Stories Are Ehhh?

    I am on about page 120 of "The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway" and I am not enjoying this book at all.  I thought it was going to have all his works, but it is literally 47 short stories from a given time period and then more stories from another time period.  When I scanned the book, one of the front pages had a list of what sounded like his books, but that is what it was, a list.  I saw The Old Man and the Sea and then the table of contents had something about the sea in the title and I assumed it was in there.
    Most of the stories are 2-5 pages long, so it is reading fairly quickly, but I don't enjoy the protagonist dying all the time.  The first 3-4 stories had the main character dying.  In the first story, his wife "accidentally" blows his head off, the next story had a young man playing at being a bullfighter, his friend ties knives to a chair and charges the kid.  He accidentally slices his artery in his arm, and kid dies.  Then there is a story of a young gal who has a crush on a Jim.  He proceeds to get drunk and give her a light raping.  Then an old man who is taking care of some animals in a war zone, he is to leave the area, but he is tired of walking, so he will just sit there, with the enemy coming over the hills.  They don't say he dies, but what are the options?
    Lace this in with some dingy broad in a hotel who sees a cat getting rained on and she decides she wants a cat.  She says it enough times and she gets a cat, lame.
    Then a kid gets tossed off a moving train, the kid follows the train tracks, runs into some hobos, they feed him and he continues on his way.
    Another one has some young men/teens getting drunk while dad is out hunting, feels a little homoerotic, with them taking their shoes off and getting warm by the fire.  One of them pushing the other to get drunk, it'll be fun, telling him he did the right thing by dumping his girlfriend.
    What is fun about two dudes sitting drunk by a fire?  If I'm getting drunk, there's gonna be some groping, otherwise, what is the point of abusing your liver, waking up with a headache, and all the other things that go with drinking?
    I may finish reading the book, but I am trying to get through a bunch of books and this one is too big, so on to the next one....

3/8/15 Shark Hunting For Sport?

    I have mentioned I am not a mere mortal like you or she.  Back from the1930s to the 1960s, I had a profitable job, I would go in the Gulf of Mexico and take sharks by the dozens.  I was good at it, I want to say the best, but why toot my own horn, just ask a shark, they'll tell you.  I had a partner and he piloted a Scarab, those boats can go about 80mph in the open water,  I could swim at about 82mph, always stayed in front of that big boat.  Some sharks never even saw me coming, I'd come so fast at them that by the time they tried turning around, I was already making a necklace with their teeth.  I still supply the east coast with shark teeth when they run low.  Where do you think all those touristy places get those cheesy necklaces with shark teeth?  Sometimes I'd sell them the whole jaw, you can still buy them, my hard work from long ago lives on.
    The pilot of that boat was none other than Jacques C, a frenchman, taught him everything I know.  I was so good at taking life from that ocean that I actually turned him from ocean profiteer to conservationist.  He said that like the shark my eyes would fold back and evil shone bright red before I started my heinous acts.  What I did with those sharks made him feel sorry for the sharks, he swore the rest of his life to study what my impact on the sharks was.  He went off and got famous, by burying my accomplishments in the sea.  I paid it no mind, eventually I worked for the government as I said, and that went very well for me, cleaning up shorelines from hungry sharks.  Eventually I talked with a guy and he took my idea and wrote what became Jaws.  That was one encounter with one shark, he milked it for weeks.  I would have had that shark on a hook by sundown, but that wouldn't make a good thriller.
    As I said, I can't go into much detail, much of what I did in those years was confiscated when my partner started saying sharks were good guys after all, they kept the oceans clean.  How can you fight that kind  of publicity?  I'm OK, eating all that shark tail (not fin, dummies) is what has kept me from aging.  I still have a special freezer where I keep my shark tails, as long as I eat that, I will remain like a man in his 40's.  Someday, I may go back to my ways and take a couple more sharks, but until then, I will stay on the shoreline, why put the fear of death in a sharks eyes, they know I still roam the land, the question is "when will I go swimming again?"

3/7/15 Patience With Our Own Stink?

    My folks are here for a couple days.  We were supposed to spend Spring Break together and we talked about it for a couple months but we never checked the dates.  Turns out, we are a week off.  They watch my sister's kids and thus have to be home to babysit.  But they are free this week, and so decided to come up and hang out with their favorite son (I kid).
    Anyways, my dad was explaining about them getting their new shower tub installed.  It looks very nice in pictures and then he was explaining other projects going on and possibly even changing out the carpets.  My mom was saying she was planning on simply steam cleaning out the current carpet.  I agreed with my dad that now that the dog has been gone awhile, change out the carpet, get rid of the last bit of "smell".  I tease my mom about this, the house doesn't smell, the dog passed away awhile back.  When he was alive, that little chihuahua owned that house.  You had to be careful not to run into a room too quickly or startle the stupid thing.  It actually nipped all the grandkids that walked in the presence of that dog.  Of course, what do all dog owners do, take the dogs side.  My mom of course felt real bad, but the half rat/half dog still was able to bite four of the six grandkids.  There was always the threat of "I'm just going to put the dog outside", but of course the following time we came to visit "hold on, we'll put him in his cage".
    Getting back on point, my mom was totally accepting of the dog, and its smells and bad habits.  But then my dad says "how come if I smell a little of cigarette, I have to take a shower".  Of course, my dad smokes and he's gotten in a bad habit of going to these little casinoes back home, I keep saying they're illegal, but everybody corrects me that the casinoes pay taxes, so hush it, Killjoy.  If those casinoes are anything like the ones I saw in Louisiana, they are fulll of smokers and people with dead eyes, just putting money in those slot machines.  My mom says he comes home just stinking of cigarette smell, and it's horrible.  I don't know that it's worse than the smell of dog in a house.
    We had a hamster for about three years, it wouldn't die, and if I waited too long to clean the cage, it was the same thing, the room the cage was in would just stink, specially if it was warm.  Why do we put up with it?  I wasn't a huge fan of the hamster, and towards the end, nobody really liked that chihuahua, but those stinky animals had a hold.  We had to ride them out.
    My parents are at a crossroad now.  Invest in a new carpet, enjoy that new chemical smell, or just clean it because you have been in mourning and you are fixing to get another dog?  I choose new carpet, but I know my mom, they'll end up with another animal to clean up after.  I will not be buying anymore hamsters or stinky turtles, I have two boys who do a good enough job of stinking up the place.

3/6/15 Story Of My Scar?

    I have a large scar on my hip.  I don't ever mention it, unless people see it, and since it is on my hip, hardly anyone ever sees it.  I could be a little bitch and say it was my brother's fault, but I never blamed him, it was just one of those things that happens growing up.
   My brother and I used to be thrown in the shower together, I was in third grade, guess that would have made me about nine, Chubs is in fourth and he is ten.  Anyway, my brother being three years younger would have been about six.  It was kind of a cold night and we were fighting over the warm water.  Our shower back home had glass doors, I don't know how exactly it happened, but in our wrestling for the warm water, I ended up falling through one of the glass doors, I remember falling butt first and I caught myself with my feet still in the shower, and my arms kind of caught with the toilet.  I look down and there's a huge triangle of glass going into my left side at the hip. 
    At this point, it gets murky, but I do believe my brother started screaming for my mom, luckily my dad had just gotten home from work.  I think I managed to get myself up, at least into the shower, probably in shock trying to wash off the blood, maybe I blacked out a bit, it took awhile for my folks to react, but I remember seeing the white of bone on my side and not wanting to see again.  My dad somehow carried me to the car and luckily, the clinic about 4-5 blocks away had a doctor there and he proceeded to stitch me up.
    We were there a good while, I remember my brother passing by the door rolling where I was being stitched, he was playing with a wheel chair out in the hallway.  It took something like 37 stitches, I remember something about 30 short ones and 7 long ones or vice versa.  I must have been real lucky as nothing important was cut.  Maybe it helped that I was a fat kid, and it just cut fat.  Either way, I didn't end up with a limp or needing blood transfusions or anything like that.  I do however have the scar, it is about 7-8 inches long.  It seemed bigger when I was younger.
    It has to have been in April or May because I was pulled out of school and missed about a month.  For the longest time, the scar would itch like crazy at times, and I was always scared to touch it and have it explode open although it never did, but it is one of those things that happened and we moved forward.

3/5/15 Freezing In March?

   Freezing in March is just totally wrong

my feelings on this are actually quite strong.

March means the start of spring for the masses

time to get outside get off our sorry asses.

Our yards should be turning green, lush and healthy

instead vines and weeds are making it brown and whatever beauty, just stealthy

Spring Break is in two weeks, I want to go swimming

but I feel it's too late, water will be cold, my man parts will be in-ing.

We're still going on vacation up near a beach

Chubs says that's fine as long as no teachers trying to teach.

I hope it at least gets nice enough to go to a zoo

nothing I like more than watching monkeys flinging poo.

Boy will want to go to the mall, probably the Houston Galleria

I just hope I don't get... too easy, but u get the idea.

Wife is happy as long as together we eat dinner

of course that'll happen I'm not a vacation sinner.

Last year was our first timeshare vacation, it was good,

I just hope this one is better, knock on wood.

My people are not meant to lose contact with civilization

last year we were in the woods and they were considering self-mutilation.

My mom and my boys need 24/7 internet access

if I can't do this, don't call the trip any kind of success.

my dad I thought being by some water would be good, doing some fishing

he too has changed the ding ding ding of casino machines is all he is ever wishing.

So we shall see, I am hoping for the weather to be better
if not, you have been warned, my weatherman will get a nasty letter.
It will describe what he can do with his reproductive parts,
basically, he can stick them through that hole where he farts.

3/4/15 Old School Fables 2?

    There was once a majestic lion who roamed the earth, keeping peace with all the animals.  He was revered for he was empathic and new what the other animals needed just by looking in their eyes.  He would at once make it his mission to see that his followers had everything they needed and were fulfilled.  Lion had but one need and that was that all trusted in him with faith and loyalty.  This was easy to do when the land was green and fertile as food was plentiful. 
    The troubles began in the drought of 2008.  All of a sudden, things that had been taken for granted were in short supply.  The animals had to work together to get through the bad times.  Over the years, some of the more majestic animals went off to new lands, in hopes of finding better luck and fortunes.  Lion had to be strong, for it hurt him to see some of his flock abandoning his land, he was a just and fair lion and he knew that it was only fair that everyone get to experience what the world had to offer.
    The mighty buffalo left and never came back.  Buffalo was a friend of Lion for a few seasons, but Lion thought Buffalo was the kind of friend who would stay to the end.  She did not, she met a weasel and they both slid off, not for better lands, but buffalo survived, nonetheless.  Lion would see the baby buffaloes from time to time and they were never sure what happened to Buffalo, they were damaged too, as they had been abandoned and buffalo spent the rest of her days trying to conceive weas-falos, but the two could not make it work.  Oh well, said Lion, the little buffaloes might be better animals than Buffalo ever was, so he helped them anytime he could.
    This was also the case with Butterfly.  Butterfly had been a friend of Lion since she was a teenager, and they were good friends, traveling the vast empire of Lion for thousands of miles in search of good times.  Then when times went tough, Butterfly hit the road too.  She too found a weasel and he promised fortunes to be had in a far away land.  So She left from Lion's domain, again, leaving the oldest of her baby butterflies behind.
    Butterfly Jr. was very close with Lion.  Lion was always protective of Butterfly Jr., knowing her since she was a caterpillar.  He hated that she was abandoned, but it was not his place to tell the other animals what to do.  So Butterfly disappeared, supposedly doing well, Lion "believed" this only to keep the peace. 
    Lion is always Lion, things got better and although things changed some, his reign continued.  Some animals came and some went, Lion accepted this, his life was prosperous because he didn't force change, he knew it was part of the great circle of life.  Lion Jr. might eventually leave his domain to claim his own territory, Lion knew this was normal.  Lion knew from years of being a good and just master, his own son would never abandon him.  He could see that the other children now fully grown stayed in contact with him for this same reason, for he loved unconditionally.  This simple point is what made Lion magnanimous, he loved without judgment, he cared because it was the right thing to do, and he gave when he knew it was appropriate.

3/3/15 Chubs Is Curious About The Birds And The Bees?

    Seems like we are in times of change here.  First Boy moves out, at least during the week, now Chubs has started spending large amounts of time in the bathroom and asking questioons about s-e-x. It is not surprising, considering I am a big ole perv myself, but now he has started taking his phone into bathroom, Wife says he has been spending up to an hour and a half behind closed doors.  I leave for work around 550pm and she tends to send him in to shower around then, unless they are running errands.
    My Dad always had the hidden Playboys laying around the house.  I then felt it was the thing to do for Boy, I kept a subscription coming for years.  It was really that I stopped writing checks that I have stopped as it really is a good magazine for reading, lame but the articles are really top notch.  In the past year, I have bought a Playboy twice to get the flyer to start a new subscription, but I end up forgetting.  Plus now with the internet, there is so much naked imagery, stills in a magazine seem quaint, almost cute.
    I asked Chubs about his curiosity and it wasn't bad.  He said while we were talking to a friend, he made some comments and he was left with questions.  This friend is going through a divorce and his wife and him are not being friendly.  They have issues and three kids between them.  It is so messy and the guy just starts venting to us.  The questions posed by Chubs were not about the mechanics of s-e-x (he spells it out to me), but more of love and what happens when people don't love each other.  I answered his questions and as Dr. Drew on Loveline had suggested, be available but don't overwhelm kid with information he is not ready to process.  I told him he will be going through changes and it will be his hormones pushing him too do things that seem crazy right now.  Not to worry about it, things happen at their own rate, and ask us, we won't get mad.  Don't ask Johnny in class, who is probably going to give him wrong or half right answers.
    He seemed satisfied with what I said.  As far as bathroom behavior, I've told Wife, don't let him take phone in bathroom, he's gonna end up with hemorroids sitting on the crapper for so long.  Plus his phone is gonna get poo on it, same for all of you nasty peeps that take your phone in to do your business.  Y'all saw Mythbusters, everything that goes in the bathroom ends up with trace amounts of caca!!

3/2/15 Tax Man Cometh?

    We took care of our taxes friday.  It is such a pain to gather all the necessary paperwork, but our awesome government makes us jump like monkeys every year.  Why aren't they happy with what they take from our paychecks?  You took your cut like a big ass bully, then you come back at the end of the year to see if maybe you can take a little more?  It should be set up where they take whatever amount percentage wise and then go away.  People that live in houses and people that rent shouldn't be different classes of human.  If you "own" your house, you get advantages, otherwise you don't.  As a coworker told me awhile back, we never own our houses outright, try skipping a couple years of not paying taxes and see how fast your domicile gets put back into circulation so another happy citizen pays his fair share of taxes for the right to live in "your" home.
    I guess I'm content, we got a return back of $2600.  Great, I set up my paycheck to throw in an extra $100 from every check, just in case, we have a cushion.  Being that I get paid 26 times a year, the amount makes perfect sense.
    We also took in our son's info.  We are still entwined, he is working, but we're still supporting him. Turns out the numbers worked best by keeping him as our child, so he will get a smaller return than what he was hoping for, but considering all that we give him, it is more than fair.
    I also insist we get our taxes done by professionals such as H&R Block.  We got audited one year and had to pay over $10000 for two years.  It was a supreme pain in the ass, so now we let them do it.  If there is a problem, I even pay the extra $30 so they are reponsible for the costs.  Those audits shook us, everyone gives me crap about "taxes are easy, just use blah blah software".  I find myself having to be polite to everyone and say yeah, but no.  Next audit will be covered by H&R Block and that is the end of it.
    We're lucky that place is about 5 minutes away.  We got there at 830pm friday night, and were there until almost 10pm.  They close at 9pm, but they said they could see us.  I'm just glad it's over until next year.

3/1/15 How Much Education Is Enough?

    A couple days ago, I saw a comment by a cousin on FB about feeling down as she is pursuing her Master's degree.  Something about even if she gets the degree, it won't mean necessarily more money at the current job she is at.  This is the exact same thing that happened to my wife.  We decided it would be a positive thing, she went through the hard work and hassle, got a Master's in Education and the raise she got wouldn't even pay for dinner at cheap ass Cheddar's.  This is not my wife's fault, she gets glowing reviews every year, her boss loves her, but the actual thing that matters, money, has not matched all those beautiful words everyone tells her about how outstanding she is at helping the community she helps.
    I have a Bachelor's degree in chemistry (and hell no, I couldn't do half of what Walt on Breaking Bad does), and everyone tells me I just got lucky to end up in semiconductor field where we get paid more than anyone else.  Thanks, Jerks, nice to know it's luck.  How about fact that I have survived like seven layoffs, or that I am willing to work nights where few people dare go to.  I digress, I too tried to get a Master's degree like ten years ago.  I was not going to quit my job, so I would work, then head to San Marcos and attend classes.  I found that I could not keep up that kind of pace.  I told the advisor I wanted to do 1-2 classes but they pushed me into a full load, I ended up dropping out, knowing that my hard work would only get me a 5% raise.  I wish I had finished it, specially because my wife has one and several family members do too, but my goal now, is making sure Boy and Chubs get at least that far and I would like to see them go farther.  These are fine goals, provided you don't have kids, at my stage in life, money is king, papers on the wall are nice, but not if they don't equal more cashola.
    I don't know how much education is enough, but I have also seen people posting on FB that higher education is not necessary to succeed.  This is of course true, but if that is your mentality, you better show up with an eagerness to work your butt off, show the boss you have some value making you worth more than the next Joe walking in off the street, and some street smarts.  Donkeys don't generally get rewarded just for showing up.  My Dad always kept close pace with my Mom, salary wise, she with a Master's Degree and a counselor and my Dad with a high school degree, but the man worked hard always on a truck, I don't recall him ever taking days off, during the week cause he had a little cold.
    That being said, I just hope Boy stays interested in his studies.  This is why I generally succumb to his requests when he asks for computer this and electronic that.  If he sees them as necessary, I see them as necessary.  He knows we believe in him, and I would prefer him at home where I know his Mama is making sure he eats right.  For now, we will take his word, plus he sent me pics of dinner, and it looks like he knows what he is doing.