2/28/18 Could It Be The Same Man?

    I grew up pretty well behaved as far as school goes.  I was never a disciplinary problem, went to the principal's office only a couple times.  Ok, once in third grade or so for throwing a rock at a kid who threw one at me.  He missed, I hit him in the eye or broke his glasses or something, but as I recall he threw first.  Then I was sent to the principal's office after a band trip for cussing and "being disrespectful".  We would get these parents as chaperones on the busses, mostly to prevent humping in the back and all they would do is get in the way.  After one of the trips we were goofing around and it just so happened I was cussing in the back seats, I always did, kind of like Boy, we let the "shits" fly.
    Anyways, sometime in 7th grade I was in a PE class and the whole class decided it would be funny to have a paper war while the coach assigned a movie and he stepped out, probably for a smoke.  This was a tough ass coach who probably did time in Vietnam and not really an adult you would find around kids, today.  His solution for the shenanigans which was really nothing was to line us all up and give us one whack with the paddle.  I remember thinking this is not going to be cool with my mom but it all happened too fast, I just remember running sideways up the stairs to sit with the rest of the knuckleheads.  I never did tell my mom, she was a teacher and the only person who should beat me was her and that never happened.  She didn't even allow my dad to spank us, we really should be more spoiled and "assholey" than we are.  All this is besides the point, I think the man still lives in the next town over and is a school board member who happens to give Wife a hard time, now and then.
    Last night she was doing a presentation that was so important she left San Antonio in the afternoon to go down there, like a two hour drive, presented, then drove back to Austin for another meeting today.  She was all into her material, but he stopped her to tell her to kill a spider that was getting close to her.  She said "that's ok, it's not bothering me."  He pointed at it and just said "kill it!"  She did a fake step on it, she didn't want to get spider goo on her shoe while she was talking, she told me she pressed it down but not all the way.  A couple minutes passed and he came back a third time, stopping her presentation to insist she kill the spider.  "Fine, she stepped on it, felt bad about it and stood there with goo on her shoe while she attempted to finish her Power Point presentation.
    I just thought it was funny if this old fart is still running around being a hard ass for no reason.

2/27/18 Spring Break, Where Are You?

    This has been a weird winter and I am about ready for it to go away.  We actually had snow a couple times, we froze, had some off days for the boys from school which they loved, shoot, even I missed a day or two due to the weather.  So now it seems funny that we are about two weeks from Spring Break.  It will be March in a couple days this week and I believe Wife told me Spring Break falls on the 12th of March.  For me, that is one more pay cycle, I look at periods as two week cycles, as that is how my work weeks are laid out.
    I don't know that we are going too far, Wife keeps joking that she is going to drop me off at my Mom's house and she will come back and sleep without me bothering her.  I have become a pain in the ass because I want to be like an old man that wakes up at the crack of dawn and I have been, but I also stay up until the crack of dawn, lately back to watching porn, just seems to go with the testosterone shots.  By the time she wants to get up around 1:00 or 2:00pm, I am ready to take a nap and I can easily sleep until 7:00 or 8:00pm which ruins the day.  I have tried not turning on the laptop in the bedroom, but I still toss and turn, so I don't know what to do anymore.  Exercise would probably help but I am too out of shape to exercise.
    Wife is going full on attack this week.  She was here Sunday night, which is great, went to San Antonio for something or other, then back up here, she considered going back to work in the afternoon, which I about slapped her in the head, "what are you going to accomplish in an hour, Fool of a Took?"  "But I am presenting to the board and blah blah blah."  Boo, present  some dinner for your kids so they don't just eat sandwiches every night, if you can be here.  Those old farts don't want to listen to your two cents.
    She is a loyal employee, she is headed to San Antonio today, stopping in La Pryor tonight for her big presentation, sleeping at my mom's and back to Austin for the day Wednesday for some other thing.  Not sure if she is spending the night, I would, but I don't have a spiffy little economical Kia Soul to run around in.  She'll be back for the weekend, then another week, and we should be on Spring Break.
    My folks are playing with the idea of visiting, but they worry about where they will sleep.  I tell them Javalina sleeps on the floor when his friends come over, they can have his bed, he doesn't mind.  I would like for them to see him at the gym punching and exercising, it is all pretty cool, but maybe it is only interesting for a parent.

2/26/18 Celebrating Boy's New Job By Shopping?

    It took a couple extra days than what he was told, but the company that interviewed Boy for an internship finally called him this past week and offered him a position which will have him doing some programming and other entry level computer work.  Even though I was a bit pissy that he had left Tuesday and Thursday wide open, with no classes, now it is perfect as he can head to the internship place on Tuesday and Thursday.  He has grand plans right now, thinking he can add this and keep working at the Alamo Drafthouse on Saturday and Sunday, but we already told him not to try and do so much, he is going to burn himself out.
    He asked us for some clothes, throwing in that we haven't been buying clothes for him like we used to.  I have to agree there, in high school, he was wearing suits and shoes and that was a little pricey.  Once he started college, it was like night and day.  He has not been interested in nice clothes, choosing just to wear jeans and simple T-shirts.  We got so lucky too,  Dillard's was having a big sale where a lot of their stuff was on sale.  All the shirts he got had original price tags of $90-$140.  With the sales, they were all marked down to around $28-$43 and then we still got an additional 30% off.  He wanted some ties and they had the same type of reductions.  Ties that normally cost $50 were selling for $12.  We walked out spending like $350, but it was like 5 shirts, 4-5 ties, socks, underwear, everything but pants.  He looked at shoes and we offered to get him a nice set of dress shoes, but he insisted on trying to "stretch" a pair of older expensive shoes we got him in 7th grade.  His foot has not grown much, I believe the shoes are a 9.5 and he wears a 10.5.  I didn't understand this, as having more variety is good, specially if he is going to start dressing up again.
    We then went to Buckle which is more hip but he only wanted some jeans from here.  He has gotten us with $150 pants before, but he got two jeans that were a modest $60 a piece.  This would have been fine, but Javalina likes the Affliction shirts and threw in two for himself.  It was all good, I like my boys looking good.
    Boy did try to get me to "reward" him with a new watch, so we went to Ben Bridge to look at the Tag Heuer watches.  They are really nice and if we weren't being so disciplined on not using credit cards, I probably would have gotten him this one square faced Monaco style with a black face, which was "only" $1700.  Wife looked at me and said no with her eyes, not even moving her head, just her eyeballs moved left to right, demons and mean women can do that move.  Just kidding, it was nice, we rarely head out of the house together anymore, even if Boy had a selfish reason to join us, he is still our kid and it has been on him to push away from us buying him clothes.
    I wish him well at his new place, maybe this turns into a real job after he graduates, maybe this is just one of many stops before he finds a stable job, either way, I am glad he hasn't been an idiot over the last few years who we have to constantly save from himself, it has been very pleasant in comparison to what some parents go through after high school.  Keep it up Boy, we gots a Cessna to buy in a couple years.  :)

2/25/18 Early Musical Influences?

    I was listening to a podcast with Tom Segura, who is an up and coming comedian that I just can't get enough of.  He has a dry delivery but what he says is over the top and almost relatable.  The host asked him about his early musical influences and he admitted to liking early rap.  This got me thinking and up until 7th grade or so that I discovered cassettes, I was a fan of what my parents liked.  Luckily, my folks were semi cool in the music department as I have always had a love for 60s and 70s music and it just seems to match the feel of being in Corpus Christi to me, which is a town that to me had its heyday back then.  By 60s and 70s music, I mean stuff like The Beatles,                          Jim Croce, Bread, James Taylor, probably all falling in as soft rock, but it was good stuff that still holds up.
    Along with that, we are Hispanic and tex-mex music was always playing at the house, on the weekends it seemed, especially.  My folks even had one of those giant stereo things that was bigger than a TV box and had a record player and an 8 track player up in there and back then we could catch channel 55KTSA on AM radio, it was huge, so we could blast some music pretty loudly for back in the day.  I still even remember my mom teaching me how to dance real quick in the living room before one of my first dances with probably some Mafia or Selena or Mazz, which were hot when I was headed to high school.  I remember before junior high rounding up all the 8 tracks, which were like cassettes, but bulkier and probably didn't even produce "stereo" sound but it is what we had and I could fill the glove box which also used to be bigger.  Again, one of my parents was apparently cool, because it was them buying music, I just can't figure which one.  My dad has always been a bit of a savage, but he did manage to get himself an IPOD and load it with his music for when we are at "boring" places like the mall.  I just don't see my mom spending money on music with four kids in the house, but she would be the hipper one back in the day before Jesus grabbed her by the brain.
    My introduction to "my music" wasn't until 7th grade.  We had a gift exchange and my gift was supposed to come from one of the school tough guys, so I figured I wasn't getting shit, but he surprised me and although I didn't get it until after school or a couple days later, he gave me a cassette from AC/DC, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.  Man, it was one of the greatest things I ever heard.  It had Big Balls, which is a tongue in cheek song about big balls like the kind Cinderella attended, or big balls like testicles.  I thought this was genius and set me on a path where any time I can find music like this, I am in love with it.  Later, I bought Two Live Crew's Me So Horny which was not tongue in cheek, that one just beat you over the head with its raunchiness, but it was right up my alley.  Aerosmith's Pump had a couple dirty songs, specially F.I.N.E.  This was all mixed in with Ozzy Osbourne who was my music through high school and that grew a lot more with the other heavy metal stuff once I got to the junior college, with Metallica, Iron Maiden, Megadeth.
    This was my play loud stuff, but what I really like was the Dr. Demento silly stuff that parodies music, the Weird Al Yankovich stuff that has been around since the 80's.  I find it easier to listen to nowadays, since everything is on You Tube.  We are no longer slaves to the radio stations that play the same 4-5 bands all the freaking time.

2/24/18 Protecting Religious Babies?

    I picked up Javalina today, as usual and headed towards my doctor's office to get a new bottle of testosterone.  I am back on the sauce after taking about a two month break.  I stopped because it was making me too horny, I was feeling like I was back in high school, dirty thoughts all the time, but after getting off, I did notice a loss of interest in my little guy.  Anyways, while driving up there, my boy was telling me about school and that it was a good day.  They had a discussion in science class about the Big Bang and the teacher wussed out and said something like billions of years ago, a tenth of a second after time started, there was a flash and an explosion and from this the cosmos started.  He turned to the religious snowflakes waiting to hear that somehow God was involved, but how can you appease these simpletons in that way?  Javalina said something like the .001 second there allowed God to be involved, I don't know how, exactly, but there you go.  Why are these creationist turds allowed to carry any scientific weight?
    What is the gain by involving the Creator, even if he were real somehow?  At that point, we might as well just stop trying to understand how everything works, and say it is God's will.  We have to move past this great obstacle placed before us, it is really doing nothing but slowing us down as far as progress.  Just in the first sentence of "billions of years ago", a theist could argue, "no, the bible says the earth is 4000 years old, so ratchet it back, Einstein."
    Another notion, if He was involved, yet it doesn't affect any of the calculations used to figure out the age of the universe or the total mass involved, does it really matter that He is involved?  Why do we have to involve Him in everything, is His self esteem that low that he must be recognized at every level?  We have to thank him for everything from the chicken mcnuggets we eat to the footballs athletes catch.  Where does it end, thank you Jesus for the nice soft bowel movement?  Do people thank Jesus/God when they get fired or anything negative happens?  If a football player drops a ball it must also be Jesus knocking it out of his hands.
    I was thinking about the after life, and what it would consist of.  If you live a good and holy life, you get to sit with Him in everlasting light.  And then?  To me, this looks like millions of humans sitting like contented moths in God's light.  You stop doing stuff?  You don't go out for an occasional haunt?  No peeping at the female dormitories, just sitting in the glow of everlasting light?  Sounds a  tad boring, if you ask me.
    We are humans, we have senses and that is how we make sense of the world around us.  The other option we seem to have if not in His presence is to go under, to Hell.  At least Hell makes you feel things, pain, misery, an occasional pineapple up your bum, as Javalina added jokingly.  I think sensual stimulation is what makes you feel alive and that is what Hell messes with the most.

2/23/18 Hotels Think They're Planes Now?

    I had not heard of hotels overbooking, but apparently they are trying to pull the same shit as the airlines do.  Is this even legal?  Wife has a conference in Houston with about 4 other administrators today and as usual, my little hero didn't get going until the floors are polished and every door is locked by herself personally.  She called me about 5:15pm that they were just getting on the road.  I was rushing with Javalina to get him to his boxing class, so we didn't talk much.  We talked about 7:15pm that instead of getting her car which we were going to catch her on the road somewhere between San Antonio and San Marcos to get her car so she wouldn't leave it in La Pryor and then have to drive all the way back to get it, she left it at somebody's house in San Antonio.  She makes stuff harder than it is, her folks are a couple miles from highway 90, which is one of the ways to come up from the middle of nowhere that she is.  I finally ended up working my first night of OT this year, so I was unavailable to run that maneuver for her.
    I told her to call me when she got to her room, no sense trying to make small talk with other people in the car, she don't do that, she is a professional, I don't have time for BS when I am in the lab either, so it works out.  I almost started thinking this was just a ruse, that she ran off with somebody from work, as it was 2:30am before I heard from her again.  When she texted, there was some cussing, unusual for her.  She said the hotel overbooked them and now, at 2:30am they were left to their own devices to look for a place to stay.
    I can understand airlines doing this, they pretty much treat you like cattle, they get to do whatever they want, but when did hotels start doing the same?  After a five hour drive, all you want is to take your clothes off and have a nice one on one with the toilet, who are these fucks to overbook and send you back on the street?  This sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.  Wife even called while they were on the road, telling them they would be arriving late.  The lady said no problem, blah blah blah.  I think the hotel should at least be responsible for reserving rooms for the people at a close by equivalent hotel, planes give free trips and bonus cash, or they used to for people to get off.
    On the one hand, I feel bad for Wife and them, sitting at an IHOP at 3:00am like the small town yokels they are, trying to figure out where they are going to wash their stinky parts, debating whether to sleep in the car at a rest area I am sure.  I'm surprised they didn't just head for the nearest river (I kid, I kid).  But, I also get pissed at Wife every time she heads out of town because anything stops her from getting going.  It could be some little old lady complaining of the kids make too much noise in the playground for her afternoon nap, and she will entertain the old hag.  She has to learn to prioritize herself, point at the door and tell anyone top down "Beat it!" I am not here, even if you think you see me.  She needs to learn in order to lead, you must learn to always lead as if you are the only person that matters.  That is how the greats do it, I have learned.

2/22/18 People That Work With Wild Animals?

    I just finished watching a couple episodes on YouTube dealing with Pets and Wild animals going bad.  Why do people insist on doing dumb shit around wild animals?  There was a guy who "plays" with gators.  Come on, we are supposed to feel bad for Billy Bob when one of them bites on him?  There was an incident caught on tape where he is putting his head between the jaws and when done right, nothing happens.  We are talking about it, so something happened.  Next thing he knows, the gator snaps his jaw around his face and now he has to figure out how to remove the gator.  At first glimpse, I LOL'd, it was too much like David Spade's character in Joe Dirt when he is pretending to know about gators and the same thing happens to him.  Of course, in the real world, the guy needs a bunch of surgeries and is never quite the same.
    The next clip was about a lady who won the chance to ride on a killer whale, I mean it's in the name.  It's not huggy whale, or lovey dovey whale, it is killer whale, why do you need some amateur riding on one, Sea World?  They have killed trained people, why let an amateur even touch them?  I've seen Shamu, they are plenty pretty at 50 feet, I don't need to feed it to feel like I got my money's worth.  This reminds me, they have a station out at SeaWorld where you can feed dolphins.  All these kids lay on their stomachs and reach in while mouths with hundreds of teeth come to grab a dead fish.  Why is this even a good idea.  I keep imaginging a suicidal dolphin taking a wild random jump out of the water and crushing someone.  They do get up to 600 pounds and they are predators that kill fairly easily, yet because they look like they smile, we love them.
    Another one that I didn't see but I got the gist just by the little window.  When you go out to the Savana in Africa, yeah, it'll be hot, but closing the windows keeps the wild animals out.  These idiot photographers forget where they are or something.  Once the tiger is on the roof of the car and you aren't secured by metal and glass, you might have to fight for your life.  And the cat will usually win.
    And of course pitbulls.  They aren't "wild" animals, but goddam, do they bite a ton of people.  Yeah yeah, Chihuahuas bite more often, but which is a more lethal bite, Stupid?  The nip of a 4 pound dog, or the bite from an 80 pound bundle of muscles that doesn't know when to stop?  I hate animal defenders, if a dog bites, put it down.
   

2/21/18 Trying To Read More?

    I have to admit I have been wasting tons of hours on Snapchat and other programs probably designed to keep people stupid.  It starts out innocently enough on Facebook, but before you know it, I'll be creeping through Instagram, looking at watches I can't afford and pretty much same with the girls.  I need to probably remove these programs or get stronger mentally.  I am going to try and get back to reading more.
    Last time I said that, I went to Half Price Books and bought about five books, mostly Bukowski, but also some atheist reading material to keep it varied.  I have now read about four books from Bukowski and I do love his raunchiness and blatant disregard for being politically correct.  He keeps referring to raping any woman he sees that he finds attractive.  This has got to do with the times, because that kind of activity would not fly in this day and age, or would it?  In the right company I guess you can still tell a girl "I'm a give you a raping" and they'll just laugh it off as you grope them like they are a tube of toothpaste.  This latest book is a collection of short stories and I guess when I started reading it, I wasn't in the right frame of mind because it wasn't clicking, but I picked it up earlier this week and started reading from wherever I had bent the page and it had me laughing in seconds.
    I still think I would like to try my hand at writing a book, but maybe doing it with a bunch of short stories is easier and a better way to stay focused on a subject.  Filling a page is not a hard task anymore as I have been doing that daily now for over three years.  Choosing a subject and staying on it is probably the bigger challenge at this point.  There also doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to focus and tune out the family, unless I tell myself I will only write at night, but even then, work leaves me beat up and all I want to do on the weekends is sleep.
    Snapchat just changed its format and it seems like the perfect time to wean myself off of it.  They want to weigh the celebrity stories as just as interesting as the people we know.  Sorry, but the Kardashians can all suck a D, who cares what they do and why must we be updated about them?  This is why I think these apps are for stupid people.  Who possibly sits around wondering what certain people do?  They eat and shit just like the rest of us, maybe in nicer houses, but who cares.

2/20/18 Big D Is Not For Dallas?

    I believe I have yet another friend of mine starting the process of going through a divorce.  I hate to say it but the only pattern I see in all these relationships are that the men, good men, all bent themselves over backwards and that just pisses me off just a little bit more.  The general consensus in movies always seems to be that the man was fooling around and then we paint the guy as the evil person in the relationship.  What about when the shoe is on the other foot?  Nobody ever seems to point out that every time a man is out cheating, there has to be a woman out there cheating with him, so there aren't more men that cheat in a population.  Every cheating penis needs a vagina and vice versa, unless they are going for the other lifestyle, which nowadays is a legitimate angle, but not the point.
    Divorce sucks all around and when the two idiots involved can get their shit together, they should.  We are all busy and trying to get on with our lives, and then we have to introduce ourselves to new people, in the later stages in life, there are going to be all sorts of kids in all sorts of stages of growth, it is just a mess.  I am glad my folks were able to keep their love train going, even if there was a lot of threats when my Dad was being an idiot and still partying with his now dead friends (good).
    Back to my nice friends.  All of them, by choice, tried doing all the housework, considered their wives top notch, and insisted they were happy being the beta in the relationship spoiling a cow of a wife for no other reason than they thought it would be appreciated.  First off, people don't appreciate SHIT!  The more you do for someone, the more they think they deserve whatever you are doing.  For example, this past weekend, Wife wanted BBQ and a cake (not just a cake, but with bananas, pudding, whipped cream and pineapples).  This also included all the other stuff plus grilling and I was washing the pans as I was using them.  When she got here and after we ate, my legs were sore, I had slept maybe 3-4 hours and she starts bitching about maybe I should wash the dishes, take out the trash.  From me, that gets you a "fuck you, Mother Fucker!  Appreciate me or suck my balls!"  She realized her mistake, I am not a yes dear kind of guy, one of the bnenefits of wearing your emotions on your sleeves, I waste no time letting her know when I am not happy.
    I do not pretend to know the secret to staying married, Wife could be lining up a better life in La Pryor as we speak, I am pretty much at the point where she might get a bicycle if she were to trade me in like a car.  Then again, I noticed a problem and I attacked it when I noticed my sexual appetite was disappearing, and yes, women like it as much as men, which is the main reason I take those testosterone shots.

2/19/18 Need Some Sleep?

    I was just awoken by Wife and I was so out of it, I didn't know who she was, where I was, who I was, or what she wanted.  It is a freaking scary feeling to be that out of it and awaken like that.  I wanted to ignore her and hide in bed, but I felt like feeding the kids was something I did.  When she said I should be making dinner, I thought she was a witch.  How does she know what I am going to do next.
    Now that I am awake, I feel I might need to contact her, I may have hung up on her while she explained how to do this and that.  I am not even sure where I left my phone, I just came downstairs, she may still be on it waiting for me.  All I remember was sitting down after I folded a load of clothes as I watched HGTV.  I love fantasizing about buying a summer place along the coast and they were actually showing places along the Texas coast, specifically Crystal Beach.
    These weekends have been weird as far as my sleep pattern.  Last night I was tired and fell asleep probably around 11:30pm, but I knew I still needed to write the blog, so I woke up at 3:00am and was up until 5:00am.  My stomach must not have liked eating that piece of cake as I needed to go to the bathroom which then required a shower.  I laid down around 6:00am but again was up by 8:30am.  I came down, ate a plate of leftover BBQ, talked to Javalina who had a shitty dream resembling the Walking Dead.  In his dream North Korea sent us a bomb which attacked us biologically and instead of killing us, it turned us into zombies.  Those that were unaffected were told that there was a big gathering in Atlanta, so we were getting ready, but that since we were packed with all sorts of weapons, we could only fit one of our boys.  He said we made our choice and we chose to take Boy and leave him behind (that would never happen).  He said that then he tried to run behind us but could not keep up, so he was stuck behind and was befriended by a group who he told where we were headed and then they decided they would walk there.  This was the point that I woke him up (I like going and looking out through his windows, he has the best view of the street).  After taking in his dream, I went back to bed at 11:00am and slept until 2:00pm when Wife said we needed to start moving.
    We went and ate, got some stuff at Target, and she left.  I came in, folded clothes, got Javalina's white school shirts ready to iron and this is when I fell asleep.  It is just after 10:05pm, Javalina did most of the cooking of the meat, while I refried a can of beans.  Meat and beans sounds like such a manly meal, and it was, on flour tortillas.
    I already dealt with the trash can and the trash, most of the clothes are washed, just need to iron a few shirts, wash a couple dishes, and maybe I can go to bed early, being that this is me writing my blog as the day is passing.  I'll try harder on the next one.

2/18/18 A Couple More School Shootings Before Congress Does Something?

    How powerful is the National Rifle Association that our Congress won't even bring up the discussion of rifles in these horrific school shootings?  They can say whatever they want to make themselves feel better, but the truth is you can kill a lot more if in a crowd you can just walk and your gun goes bang bang bang bang. versus a one shot rifle that holds 1 bullet, bang, open gun reload,then bang and repeat.  People in Congress like to say they are easier to hunt with, but no self respecting hunter is going to shoot something with multiple shots.
    I am not a fan of guns, but Boy loves them.  Because of this, I have been taken to the Lockhart shooting range a couple times.  I can see the love of the thump thump thump when someone is unloading a clip from a higher powered rifle.  I am always nervous at these places, waiting for something to go wrong and an accident happens.  For the most part, these people know what they are doing and the guns get generally respected.
    When it comes to doing something though, we can't seem to line up our priorities.  Let the fine people who like to hunt keep their expensive hunting rifles, these always seem to be bolt action, 1 shot machines.  There may be 4-5 bullets in reserve inside the gun, but they have to be loaded manually.  I kind of respect this shooter, if he can take a deer from 100-200 yards with 1 shot.  Is there a hunter that opens up a multi shot semi automatic on a deer?  or a rabbit?  How fucking pathetic, lose the camo underwear, you Sir, are no hunter.
    Same with the shotgun shooters who shoot at clay targets or go sport hunting after shitty little birds.  I've shot at clay targets and that was cool.  Still, one can only load max around 8 shots and it takes a while to reload, which makes this a not so easy people killer.  But still, the fact that the shot can spread does make it an excellent home protector
    Hand guns of all sizes, we all know are not very accurate once you get out about ten yards, so yes, they are scary, but also have the lowest likelihood of hitting you at a distance.
    This leaves the AR15 types.  These guns mimic what has been used in the last few wars.  We have all seen the banana clips that are taped together end over end to increase shooting output to about 50 rounds with the simple flip of the cartridge.  The only thing this is good for is to clear a path through humans in a crowded place.
    I saw the president was going to pin this one on the mentally challenged?  I guess that way the NRA stays happy, but then what?  There will be another one in a couple weeks.  Barely two months into the year and we are at 18 gun shootings at school campuses, I know half of these don't count as Idiots shooting at students, still if you only count the ten that do go after random kids, extrapolated for the year, we're looking at around 60 school massacres for 2018, not including all the other accidental firings and accidental discharges.  Still, the NRA will wave its hand and say "not our fault..."  And Congress will keep doing nothing.  Fucking Awesome!

2/17/18 Busy Friday Afternoon With Some Big News From DD?

    Earlier in the week, Wife suggested we should grill tonight.  Foolishly, I thought this would be good, as we would not be leaving the house to go eat when she arrived, which varies from a rare 6:00pm to a more normal 9:30pm.  What I forget is that with her not in town, I have to do the bulk of the work.  To make it a little more fun, she also added a "better than sex cake" to the list.  This would be fine if she remembered to run out the doors from her work at 4:30pm when she officially gets out, but most days she stays until 6:00pm which when you add the three hours of road time equals her getting here after 9:00pm.
    We hadn't grilled with her in a while, I mean we still grill most weekends, but it's on Sundays after she leaves.  I wanted to make it special, and yet keep up with everything else.  I had told Javalina I would take him to Best Buy on Friday, his brother generously promised him $40 if he got all A's and B's.  He had a wad of money burning a hole in his hand.  This then meant that for me to go to HEB and keep my promise of Best Buy, I would have to get up earlier than normal, so I did.  I headed to HEB at 2:15pm.  I got mostly everything, from bombers to wings.  I cannot believe how expensive beef has gotten, but I didn't feel like eating swine.  I still got a package of pig parts and a couple with beef.  I almost forgot the whole cake thing which had me spinning around looking for banana pudding, then white/yellow cake mix, then crushed pineapples, and a small baggie of crushed pecans.  I have this incredible gift of picking the slowest freaking customer in the store and lining up behind them when paying.  There was one lady and even though she had already paid for most of her crap, she was going to pay for the last item with loose change from the bottom of her bag.
    Once done, I rushed home, had Boy waiting to help me put the food away, went back, picked up Javalina from school, and headed to Best Buy.  He got a 12 month subscription to one of the gaming systems and we headed back home.  We usually eat at this time and I guess my system was ready to go, we got back and I had to poop and shower, right on cue.  By this time, it is 5:30 and Wife tells me she is just leaving work.  She was not happy with the little windows when she peeks into the classrooms, she went through and cleaned all of them with Windex so she could peek at her teachers better.  Either that or she was finishing some Powerpoint presentation so she wouldn't have homework, like she doesn't enjoy getting on the computer to mess around with her work, all the time.
    At this point, I got some big news, DD came in telling me he had good news and bad news.  He paid me the rent for February, a little late, but that's ok, and he said he was moving out next month.  This hurts, I like having the boy around, he fits right in with Javalina's rough and tumble ways, they box just about every day, and he has been one of Boy's closest friends since 7th grade.  He says he found a cheap apartment out by Cabela's, and he is going to try it out with the girlfriend, see how it goes.  I told him I was happy for him, it seems like the next step, she sleeps here at least 2-3 times a week.  I also said if it doesn't work out, get your ass back over here, I do enjoy your money.
    I started the grill, made the cake, tossed in some potatoes in foil, then started a cheese bowl that didn't work out, started the wings, and sweetbreads, then gradually put in the rest of the meat, as I kept adding to the cake, first pineapples on the cake surface, then banana pudding, then bananas, then whipped cream, all the while washing the dishes I was using.
    Wife got here just as everything is about ready to come off the grill, Javalina had four friends spending the night, which we fed first, then we sat down to eat.  I was tired and my legs were sore from being up all day, I missed my naptimes.  Of course, Wife acts like she is in control now, I just want to sit and enjoy the meat I just ate, but nope.  Help me with the dishes, the trash needs to be taken out, I don't like that blanket on the floor.... I finally went opossum and fell asleep sitting on my chair in front of computer, so she would leave me alone.  How about just a simple thanks for dinner?

2/16/18 Jesus?

    What if God keeps sending us Jesus and we keep ignoring him?  How would we know?  This, after a discussion with Javalina, who proclaimed himself Jesus.  We discuss religion a lot, and he was being funny about it after punching me as we walked from Target to the car and I was threatening to kick his ass.  But it gave me a funny (to me) idea about the resurrection of Jesus in this day and age.
    Back in the day, if you got hung on the cross, and it was a real way to kill people, it was three nails and let you sit there until you gradually melted off.  This, of course would give plenty of time for the son of God to do his hocus pocus and come back, like he claimed.  Try doing that, in this day and age.  First off, once you are labeled dead, they drain you of fluids, so coming back gets really hard, and add to that the big metal casket and the burying under 6 feet of dirt and I don't know who can come back from that, how many Jesuses are knocking on their caskets waiting for the big reveal?  Sitting quietly in a cave and then metamorphosing, like a butterfly into an angelic Jesus is easy, if you got room and you don't need a shovel to dig yourself out.
    How about when you go the other option, some people die and are then cremated, that would be a great parlor trick, to pass away, get cremated and then while the urn sits on the family table, to come back to life, standing there, a little smoky and crispy, but no worse for the wear.  But, given our current treatment of the dead, God is probably pissed about having to come up with new tricks.  He just gets the updates from one of the angels, "yeah, Sorry, your Magnificence, the humans have burnt another Jesus, that is the third one this year.
    He can't come from a poor household and end up on the street screaming that he is the second coming, as that happens all the time, with the nutty hobos, we have learned to just tune them out.  Which one of you would follow a hobo and sell off your possessions to follow them on their begging trips?
    I need to test Javalina, maybe he can do an oldie but a goodie, convert water into wine or better yet, tequila.  I already know his heavy ass ain't going to walk on water, so what other miracle, oh yeah, feeding a village with one piece of bread and a knife.  Shoot, when we go out to eat, I'm not happy until I get at least 3-4 servings of their bread, before the meal, and Jesus is trying to get everybody to fill up on the one piece of bread?

2/15/18 Boy Is Kicking Ass In Different Ways?

    I feel like I have been going on and on about Javalina lately, but it is so easy because he is a character.  He plays up the silly and seems self aware, like when I'm getting dressed for work and he has taken to punching me as I am bending down to tie my shoes.  "What, I'm just touching you...", if I so much as lift an arm up to push him away he gets in his little stance "oh, you want to go?"  He thinks he's a boxer and he does punch with a heavy fist.
    Boy is also doing things outside of my abilities.  He has recently had two interviews with a company for an internship dealing with programming.  I honestly didn't know the boy could program, but goddam, that could lead to big bucks.  A friend of his from Tx State started working at this company and when they were asking around if anyone knew anyone who could program, the guy put Boy's name in the hat.  Fast forward to a phone interview and the guy liked what he had to say, so last week he went in and met the team.  He is supposed to find out this week if they are going to call him.  I hope they do, even if there is the risk he decides to stop working at Alamo Drafthouse and we lose our stream of free tickets.
    During our uncle's funeral, now about a month ago, he was talking to our cousin's husband, who is just as nerdy as him.  They can talk lathes and wet saws and jigs for hours, I don't go that deep down the rabbit hole.  This "uncle" of his grew out this crazy white man beard and I did not recognize him.  We were eating at a restaurant after the funeral and everyone was sitting with their little families and I am staring at Boy to stop talking to the waiter or a straggler from the last group of people that had eaten where we were.  After half an hour or so it occurred to me, it was him, I got up and went and said hi.  Well, he is connected with a company that does all sorts of design and metal works and he was saying he can get Boy in for an internship, then Boy starts talking equipment and he has already worked and done programming on the equipment they use, so he has a head start on that.  He just happened to have a phone interview with someone in the company, more as a get to know you than an interview, but they talked for awhile.
    He says he feels pretty good from the interview he had with the first company.  His friend, who also is into building things and him have quietly been making swords for the cosplay costumes for other people and so far have sold one for $300 and have another in the building process.  These are life size swords/weapons that light up and look good for picture taking, not necessarily for fighting.  They built one for a friend and then through word of mouth, people ask and that is how they are getting that going.
    So, yes, things are going pretty good for both boys right now.  I wish I could take credit with Wife currently living out of town, but the fact is, they are both good boys, Mama doesn't hesitate to get in little Hams face if his grades start slipping, so it is still a team effort, as it should be.

2/14/18 Valentine's Day?

    Finally, a win for the big guy since Wife is out of town on this most special holiday.  Instead of running around like an ass looking for something nice to, I don't know, prove my love, I can wait until the 15th, since I won't see my Sweetheart until Friday and get her a big box of chocolates I end up eating, for probably 50% off.
    This is a totally tool holiday, with the teddy bears, and the roses, and the chocolates.  I am glad for the most part, Wife has always commandeered this holiday and she makes a special dinner, as it always feels like it falls on a school night.  All I have to do is buy the generic heart box and I am off the hook.  I would actually enjoy getting Wife some nice jewelry here and there, but she don't dig it, unless her mom gives it to her.  I have never been a fan of this, but what are you gonna do?  Her mom did work at Zales for a decade, so she got great discounts and got to see everything coming in carefully.
    At this point, I have some boxes of chocolates at the house for the boys that Wife got Sunday before she left.  We went to HEB and got them heart boxes before she left for the week.  She wanted to get some sirloin steaks they were cutting heart shaped but I reminded her I don't cook during the week.  At 13 and 23, I don't know that I have to be hiding shit Santa style, but I guess years of training got me doing what I do.
    I guess it is cool that Wife has always been low key.  I don't need to get her big flashy jewelry that she wouldn't wear to prove anything.  At this point, she doesn't even wear a  wedding ring, but neither do I, so whatever.  All these things are distractions for other idiots to think they have a better relationship than we do.  At this point, I know who I belong to, nobody else will have me, and that is ok.
    Wife did say we are going to BBQ on Friday as our Valentine celebration.  As long as we are home, I don't mind whatever she wants to call a celebration.  Plus, meat on the grill always kicks ass.  Happy Valentine's Day, may somebody squeeze your sqeezables tonight, that's what they are for.  :)

2/13/18 Are People Becoming More Special?

    We were in a hurry yesterday now that Javalina is a two sport beast.  I wanted to pick him up, eat, go home, poop and take a quick shower, as is my routine before work, then get to the gym before 5:15.  We made it about 5 minutes late, so it all worked out but in the meanwhile, I encountered a different kind of animal that I really wish I had a sock full of pennies so I could give her one in the head and another in the ass.
    We rushed into Whataburger (yeah yeah, we know it's unhealthy, talk to the idiot slowing the line down!) and stood behind this conversation.  "Yeah, I want the swiss mushroom burger but without the patty."  The kid behind the register "umm, let me get a manager. Yeah, she wants a swiss mushroom burger without the meat patty."  Manager, "Hmm."  I guess there is a discount to make the burger cheaper or something, he pressed a couple keys, she kept staring at her menu she had in her hand.  I didn't know Whataburger had laminated menus.  Before she finished paying the cook came over from behind the wall... "Ma'am, you said no patty?" Asshole Lady "yeah, and my name is Lydia, so call me by that name.  That was not her name, but she said something about her name, like the guys gave a shit.  If she was skinny I would think maybe she is on to something, but she was a typical older fat mom, the fuck does she think she was kidding?
    Javalina told me to order him the usual and went and sat down after we exchanged glances behind Special Edna of this is going to take awhile, I had to stand and crawl behind this lady because fast does not exist in her vocabulary.  I ordered both our meals, paid, and then had to wait while this bitch fished through the lids, like there was a cleaner one farther back, as she left her fingerprints on all the tops I might have grabbed.  For some weird reason she took the lid for her soda and like two extra ones.  At least she wasn't a hobo, so her touching all the lids wasn't the end of the world, but come on, if you do this, remember, you're not that clean, you pick at your nose and your crotch at your desk too.  Don't be touching through everything like you're a goddam bubble boy who might catch a disease from a plastic top.
    If you order a burger with no meat, why not order a salad instead, what are you doing?  You still have all the carbs from the two big pieces of bread and all that nasty sauce.  Nevermind that mushrooms are literally grown on top of shit.  She bought a shitburger, awesome.  And you're still fat you Fuck!

2/12/18 Bathroom Solutions?

    We grew up in a house with technically two bathrooms, but in reality, only one ever worked.  When we moved into the house it had a carport and small utility room separated by a little breezeway, after a few years and my parent's insistence on reproducing like bunnies, we were up to a family of six, so the decision was to close off the garage and make it a big bedroom.  The idea worked, except I loved the carport, we could put the hose to it in the summer and would flood perfectly with about an inch or two of water and then we could slide on that concrete like a slip and slide as the finish was very smooth.  Our stomachs would be raw afterward, but it was still fun.

    Anyways, the room was completed and my folks moved into it and I remember at that time, they made that utility room into a full bathroom by installing a stand up shower and plumbing it and everything.  For a few years, it was great, we had two bathrooms.  I guess my folks stayed over there and us kids had use of the main one, no wonder I was able to take my "one hour showers" without being bothered.  At some point after I was out of the house, it stopped working and my Dad stopped trying to keep it going.  I guess with my fat ass out of the house, the rest of them could get by on the one toilet.  I have always hated it, when I go down, as soon as you sit down to poop, somebody is knocking on the door that they need to go.  The worst part is when my brother who has his house next door knocks or my sister who has her house behind my mom's starts knocking, I mean come on, bad enough the one toilet has to manage the three permanent residents plus the four of us when we visit.

    I was watching one of those Restoration Shows yesterday and I saw a solution during one of the commercials.  It is a Saniflo macerator which takes the effluent (poop) from the toilet and runs it through a blade, much like a blender to make it of a smaller composition and then a pump pushes eith er up and out of a basement or down a long system of pipes, up to 150feet.  Other systems with grey water can also be plumbed to it, which means a shower could very easily be running through it, along with a sink.  These are all the components in a bathroom, so it sounds so easy to do.  There is a difference in the toilet.  Instead of the effluent coming out the bottom and into a hole cut in the concrete, it comes out the back to feed into the macerator.  The macerator has a few other optional connections that can be cut out for the shower water and sink.  Looking online, the combo that includes the toilet with back exit and the macerator pump goes for about $950 to $1050.  This is a cheap way to double the bathrooms in your house, shoot if Wife was going to be there another few years, hard to know how long, I might be tempted to buy it on the condition that the bathroom be for Wife's private enjoyment plus if I ever go back down again.  It is actually getting close to that time again.  I promised I would go down more often, so maybe I'll go down and look and measure the potential bathroom.

2/11/18 Happy Belated Birthday, Babe?

    Today felt like a long day, specially for us who haven't been doing much lately.  It was Wife's birthday and although we didn't have much in the way of plans, I still kind of knew we were going to be in San Antonio most of the day.  A couple weeks ago at the boat show, she "won" a Carnival Cruise for 2 at their booth. All we needed to do was go listen to a pitch which I was pretty sure it was going to be a timeshare of some sort or another, even as they swore it wasn't.
    I got up at 10:30am thinking I could enjoy a cup of coffee with some cookies and internet while Wife slept until noon, but no.  Javalina came downstairs like a man with a mission and asked what we were going to make mama for breakfast?  I said uhh, I cooked last weekend, I wasn't planning on making anything other than my cup of coffee.  I said we could go get barbacoa for tacos at Taco Cabana, and then we can make some eggs on the side.  He liked that idea so he stared at me waiting for me to get up.  I was hoping to finish my cup of coffee but he wasn't going to sit there and wait.  We went, only to find out they don't sell barbacoa anymore, we chose their dozen breakfast tacos in a box and that worked out just as well.
    After this, I went up, shaved my head as I was starting to look a little sloppy, and then showered and dressed.  We were on the road right on time, if we were aiming to get there right at three with no interruptions.  I don't know how, but even with a five minute stop for gas, we made it to the pitch place right at 3:00pm.  We went in to listen to what they had to say and of course it sounded great, but we do have the experience of getting burned once with buying a timeshare.  We looked at each other and we both managed to say no.  We collected our paperwork for the cruise which we have 18 months to use plus our deposit of $40 which we had left at the boat show and took off.  We were both amazed that they actually let us go that quick.  We were back on the road before 4:00pm.
    We got to Wife's folks house and greeted them and sat around and talked for a bit.  I had a cup of coffee, excused myself to use the bathroom and upon seeing my old lover, their bed, I laid down for awhile and napped until we left, close to 7:00pm  We had been waiting for Wife's brother and his family, they were at an all day tournament.  I am so glad my boys are not into these sports that eat up entire weekends, wow.  We all met up at El Chaparral and had the usual which is a big plate of mixed fajitas, refried beans, rice, guacamole, and sides with tortillas.  I remember that tray used to be a lot bigger, but it still left us all filled up.  We ate some birthday cake which my in-laws remembered to buy, sang Happy Birthday with help from the restaurant staff and wrapped up a pretty nice day for Wife, I would say.  After dinner, we hugged everybody and got on the road.  We arrived back in Austin at our home by around 11:00pm.  Wife opened up her gift from us, another Coach bag and she thanked her boys as we all ran to the bathrooms.  Now it's just a matter of seeing if the ole testosterone shots let the lil Mando give Wife his own style of celebration.  Love you, Babe.

2/10/18 In This Corner, Fighting In The Blue Trunks... Javalina?

    As I had mentioned a week ago, I looked into signing up My younger kid to some boxing classes and I managed to find a gym probably a mile from the house.  The internet just makes everything so easy, when looking for stuff.  This is a UFC training place, but they do teach boxing.  I asked the guy working the door what was the difference, and he said kickboxing involves the hands and the feet and Muay Thai is the third form and that loosely translates to 8 points of contact because they use the hands, the feet, the elbows, and the knees.  That sounds cool, but for now, I want Javalina focusing on the boxing movements.
    We were supposed to go last Friday for a free evaluation class to see if he liked it, but he was feeling lazy, so we opted not to go.  Later, he admitted that he felt a bit overwhelmed, knowing he was going to be with adults.  I told him that  he would be matched appropriately with guys his size and probably wouldn't even have any contact.  (I was right, as he experienced this week.)
    I picked him up after school and he said it was a great day, I said good and told him we still had burgers and sausages from last night, so I don't see a reason to go out to eat.  We went home and ate, then he offered to wash the dishes which I liked.  I was then able to take my boxcutter and cut all the boxes that had been piling up all week.  While we were cleaning up he asked if I wanted to box and I said not really, I don't enjoy getting popped.  I said maybe I would hold the punching mitts, he got all excited.  He then said how about if we go this week to the gym.  I said what about your fear or whatever you had?  He said he was fine.  I told him If we go, I am signing you up, he said fine.
    We got there about 6:15pm, the guy who appears to be in charge remembered us and said hey, what happened last week?  I just told him he got cold feet, but he was ready this week.  The guy just told him well come on in, let's get you some wraps, and he was in.  There were 4 people in the class in the beginning, it swelled to about 8 by the time they were done.  There was even a girl that was brand new too.  Javalina said it was weird because the trainer was funny, like when he told him to open his stance, the trainer said act like you have the biggest balls in the world.  He wanted to make a joke but the girl was right next to him.  A few minutes later, I heard the trainer say the same line to the girl though, he just believes in equality, I guess.
    The class was done as a very beginner class, even if the other two guys seemed more experienced.  They all started in a line and would throw a punch and step forward, then some combos and continue working on the footwork, I thought Javalina might have been getting bored of this, but they did also get into pairs and they were practicing moving around each other throwing simple combinations.  I decided to sign him up and pay before the class was done, not sure if he had liked it or not, but deciding that it would be good for him to have an hour of exercise a couple times a week.  The fee is $78 a month, they also had an initiation fee of $99 but when we went the previous week to talk to them, they were having a no initiation fee incentive and I asked him if we could have that, even though we were signing up after the incentive period.  He remembered the conversation and said not to worry about it, which I thought was very nice of him.
    Javalina finished and he was pumped up, said he loved it, and said he was ready for next week.  We'll see how long this lasts, but I am excited to see him doing something on his own and maybe having this place will relieve me of being his punching bag.

2/9/18 Acknowledge A-hole?

    What is it with people nowadays that they can't extend the courtesy of looking up while crossing the street?  it is one of my pet peeves, like at a crossing station (maybe in front of Target), where cars and humans intersect.  If I am in my 6000 pound SUV pointed at you and you don't bother to at least look up real quick, or wave to say I see you, you see me, then if you do get run over, part of the blame is yours.
    From the position of the driver you'll just say "I am real sorry, my bad."  From the position of the walker, well flat tortilla people don't talk, they just bleed and die.  At my work, we recently sold one of the buildings to the Mexican Consulate, so now during the day there are tons of Mexicans walking in and out of that building.  I notice they have a hard time establishing eye contact, they just look down.  This is not safe.  Is this problem a cultural thing, then?
    I would be happier if they were on their phones, at least that tells me they do have a brain and they can think for themselves.  If you are on the phone we can also say "yup, that is an important asshole who can't acknowledge because he is more important than I.  But with no phone and no looking up, we are left thinking brainless? stupid? lost? Shy?  Anyways, it is extremely rude not to look up.  We have to slow down and wait for you to meander your way through our path and we have to sit patiently and watch you like you are an exotic animal out in the savannah.
    I try not to walk out in the real world, when we do like two weeks ago when we went to the boat show downtown, I am a nervous mess.  I hate the idea that we could get plowed down by some idiot trying to get attention from a pack of hot biotches walking close to us.  You can see it happens real easy with high horsepower cars and trucks driven by low IQ humans.  They step on the gas and the rear of the car goes sideways, they try to correct which makes the car go the other way and now he's fishtailing and he'll go crash on either side of the street.
    Whenever I have to step on the actual street, first I make sure my companions are paying attention.  The second step is I look towards where vehicles might come from and establish a line of sight.  Once I see a driver, I like to see that he sees us, he is not distracted with his phone or the paper, his kids, spouse, or whatever other BS.  Once I see that we understand each other, then I feel safe to move on.  I just wonder about some people, they give their life over to some random driver who they don't even bother looking at.  Oh well, we have too many stupid people.  If we lose some this way, I get we're still thinning the herd.

2/8/18 Institutionally Keeping The Poor Poor?

    Sometimes I get bored and wander through Wife's Facebook, which does nothing but annoy me.  There is way too much prayer and blaming going on, meaning nobody is actually doing shit.  I'll leave the prayer for another day.  I stumbled on a piece about how the US is designed to keep the poor at the bottom of the hierarchy and we should be ashamed about it.  There was a time I would have agreed, to the effect that the US is such a great country and we should be able to provide for our unfortunate people, those who have had a bit of bad luck, and those who just can't make a good decision.
    Lately though, it's more of a fuck you to the poor.  Why is it the government's fault that you can't change your status?  The article mentioned that people become dependent on the assistance and that in itself hobbles people from wanting to improve and risk losing the "free money."  When Wife and I first got married, we were poor and qualified for the big block of cheese, milk, and even food stamps.  Even cooler, the food stamps had just gone to a credit card so there was no colorful money to embarrass us while paying.  There was a moment when we had to decide if we were going to be poor people, Wife was entertaining the idea of us living in a mobile home as a first house, which terrified me.  I always had dreams of moving on up, a la George Jefferson, even as my parents all shake their heads and keep reminding me that I am broke all the time.  Settling is dangerous, it is like saying this is good enough and if I had agreed with Wife that a mobile home was good enough, we might still be in one today, then why work any harder than it would take to make that payment?  Maybe I would have conned myself into letting Wife stay home, which in this day and age I think is fucking stupid.  We are americans, we are supposed to work harder than every other country, that is why we call ourselves number 1.  You can't sit on your fatass and think you're great at anything.  At that point, you're just furniture.
    The people that the article claims we need to save need to start with saving themselves.  Stop having so many goddamn kids, specially if you're dumb, you're just going to end up with a bunch of stupid kids that require more resources than you have.  I believe that if you want government assistance, you should also agree to long term birth control, like norplant.  That way you can focus on some school while your 1st few kids are still young.
    I just hate reading that after we feed and cloth and house a ton of these ne'er do wells, we must figure out how to do more.  When do they become responsible for their actions?  This is why I am starting to lean to the right.  I can't say I am Democrat any more, other than they are keeping the right to choose alive.  I don't want to be an ignorant Republican who leans on an antiquated book for their morality, these idiots suck too.

2/6/18 Dad's Birthday?

    Happy Birthday to my Dad, he turns 70 today, not bad for a kid who grew up on the streets of Crystal City, smoking by age thirteen, venturing out of his small world over to the next cities over to get into fights over the womens way yonder.  This is a man, when his friends talked shit about going to Vietnam, he followed through, went and fought for his country and his shithole friends went and got degrees to teach auto mechanics, homemaking, and anything else to avoid fighting for Uncle Sam.
    Coming back, he wasn't done messing around in other towns to the point he tells a story that one night he and his friends were surrounded, probably in his beloved 60's Chevy Chevelle by a group of guys with pickaxes, tire irons, and machetes to get out of town or else (I believe my mom's associates and cousins).  I would not need to be threatened more than once like that, but one way or another he still married a woman from one of those other towns, guess he liked doing things the hard way.
    Upon marriage, my mom wasn't quite done with school, so they moved where she would be closer which took them to Corpus Christi where I was born shortly after, but this is about my Dad.  He promptly got a job delivering ice all around the bay, which is part of the reason we still love going down there during the summers.  Of course, he still had a bit of knucklehead in him, I always get a kick from the one story he has of being locked up.  He wasn't doing nothing but walking home with his shoes tied together and hanging around his shoulders after being out drinking a bit too long.  These were certainly different times because there is absolutely no way I would get myself in this situation, but that's my Dad.
    Considering the role model he had in our grandfather who once tried hanging one of his kids from the tree out back for some odd reason or another and demanded my grandma get on the hospital bed for one more round of loving before he kicked the bucket, Dad has been just a cool Vato.  Sure, he could have been better at this or that, but he stuck around and in this day and age, that is something.  I always like to say that he is more animal than man when he goes on a tangent, but then again, we all need to "go animal" once in a while, it's how we tell the world to kiss our ass.  You keep showing the world cigarettes aren't that bad for you, Chicken Wing!  Love you Old Man.

2/7/18 Is TruGreen For Real?

    I have always loved the idea of a perfect lawn and I have even seen a couple of houses in our neighborhood with them.  I get a little jealous, but then I figure I am not going to put in more than I already do, which is maybe cut the grass twice a month and that is about it.  Saturday afternoon as we were leaving a very big boy, about my size actually, came up walking on the sidewalk saying he was checking in on his customers in the neighborhood and asked if we had a few minutes to talk lawn.  I gave him half an ear as I was already seated in the car but slow Wife could not get in the car fast enough and she actually stopped to say hi to him instead of doing the scowl face like any normal biotch would do and avoid human interaction.
    Anyways, once I started hearing the guy, I liked what he had to say.  He started explaining that all the green grass we see right now is invasive and it will try and choke out the remaining St Augustine grass that we have, so they come around and treat the yard right now, and feed it so when it is time for the grass to wake up in the spring, it'll be stronger and competing with less invasive competition.  You can tell when someone likes what they do or really knows , this guy wasn't just moonlighting selling the service, grass seemed to be his passion.  Looking at our yard, I said "don't tell me, I am going to need to start with a whole new yard before we can see the right grass growing in here."  He assured us our yard wasn't that bad, it just need some attention.  I guess I dropped my guard after that.  His offer was also only $29.95 and we will get two treatments of the yard.  This is why I was buying a new hose and sprinklers the day before, the chemicals need to be soaked into the ground once they are sprayed or applied.
    I had seen their ads on our doors before and I assumed they were a grass cutting business, but they don't even do this, just feed the grass for health's sake.  I decided to say OK.  He is guaranteeing the work.  If we are not satisfied, we get our money back so what could go wrong.  If this is what it takes to get my lawn looking like a TV lawn, then I am all for it.  , Because we live where we live, I asked if they treated for fire ants.  He said they could but it is an extra charge.  About $100 for a one year guarantee treatment and we won't see any.  That is when the dream starts becoming what I have always wanted.  I like the idea of walking barefoot through a thick bed of St. Augustine grass, which I remember having for a time in our house growing up but it dwindled away too because my parents didn't know how to take care of it.  I told the guy first let's see if you can make the grass look like what it's supposed to look like.  If you can do that, then I won't mind paying extra to get rid of fire ants or whatever other charges you come up with.

2/5/18 Super Bowl And Other Exciting Sunday Activities?

    The Super Bowl was not the most exciting event happening at our house on Sunday.  That happened to be a little conversation Wife had through the computer with a certain U-Verse employee who managed to cut our cable bill by quite a lot.  We had got a notice that our bill was going up to $260 next month as our contract had ended and that is getting near ridiculous amounts for TV that we barely watch anymore.  This gave us reminiscing thoughts of when we left Time Warner that they were trying to charge us $280 so we dropped them and moved to our current provider.
    A couple days ago Wife talked to a "Customer Appreciation Specialist" and the best they could come up with was removing HBO and us returning a couple cable boxes and we would end up paying about what we pay right now, about $216, with taxes.  I didn't think that was the best deal, considering we have to give up stuff, so I told Wife to hang up and we'll just start shopping around for the dish or Time Warner, or maybe just keep the internet and learn to live without cable.  We discussed it all weekend and then Wife called today again.  Without much prompting, other than Wife telling them we could not afford a price hike and was there anything better they could do to keep us as loyal customers.  The guy took a couple minutes, like ten, but came through like a champ.  He said if we signed up for a new 12 month contract, we would pay $150 a month and keep everything as we have it, plus they would send us a $200 VISA gift card, I say that is a pretty cool deal.  We even get to keep HBO and all our cable boxes.  I am sorry, but that is more exciting than the Super Bowl, who cares what group of millionaire athletes wins when Wife managed to save us like $100 a month plus a $200 gift card.
    That Bossy Lil Chubby Light O' My Life then managed to save me another $60 bucks or so when we went to Home Depot to buy a new water hose.  I was pissed and telling her I would just come back after she left down to Crystal because I am so used to buying the more expensive of something when given a choice.  I wanted the 100ft hose made by Continental or some flashy brand saying the hose was warranted forever but cost $75.  Wife made me get the $30 cheap hose saying I buy new ones every year and then the same thing with the water gun and the sprinklers.  I was walking around pissy telling her to leave and I'll just come and exchange them for what I want.  After paying I realized she is probably right, so I let it go, for now.
    This took us to about 4:00pm which meant she had to get on the road, she did, but before she told me to fix the fence in the back, I hate getting orders but better from her than the HOA, so there I went, Javalina in tow (complaining that he doesn't know what to do).  The last heavy winds we had knocked a handful of slats off, so I needed to screw them back on.  Before I started on the fence, I cleaned the grill and lit a match to get my BBQ going.  The game was OK, what I saw of it, as I kept moving back and forth to make the meat on the grill and try and watch the game.

2/4/18 Looking At The Future?

    Today was a very chill day with no plans or things to rush to.  We got up around 11:00am and thought about where to go eat.  I told Wife I wouldn't mind going to see some houses if we don't have anything else to do.  Surprisingly, Javalina said he was wanting to go do that too.  Honestly, I love my house, I just don't like seeing "ne'er do wells" walking the neighborhood and then we have a greenbelt in the back with a nice gazebo but all it manages to do is act as a gathering place for the kids that play hooky from Akins High School.  If that wasn't enough, we believe some of those bums that inhabit Southpark Meadows during the day live in the woods all around us.
    My thought has kind of been if we move out far enough, we could lose all these problems.  I used to laugh at the idea of a gated community but now I would really like to move into one of those, for safety.  So we headed towards Dripping Springs and we found a few places that I liked.  The first one was Headwaters Community which has Trendmaker Homes and David Weekley Homes.  The houses were all very open and they had the masters downstairs which I liked, but all the secondary rooms were quite small compared to what the boys have right now.  The best part of these homes is the views.  The salesman said none of the homes back up to each other and you don't have a back neighbor for at least 500 yards.  What I saw is that the houses are built on a canyon like with views of the hill country that go on for miles and miles, totally serene and beautiful.  I could live with the smaller rooms for the boys, the model had a game room upstairs, so they could consider that their space as well.  The biggest setback to these homes is that they were closer to $550,000 so their is that to consider.
    We then moved on to M/I Homes which had flatter land, but houses were in the $350,000 range, so this seemed affordable, specially if we could sell our current home and make a hefty profit.  The lady here said they should be selling homes for the next 2-3 years and I noticed on the map that the lots get bigger, more towards an acre in size per house.  I would love that size just to have some privacy, but it will be a few years before we can see If they do as they are saying.  She said if we were interested in acreage homes, the neighbor further down has acre sized lots, so after looking at the two models which were very nice as well, we headed to the next builder, but they are barely started since the model is not yet complete.
    These homes were from the $600,000 and up which means they are out of our pricepoint.  It did feel nice to be on the hunt again.  I love looking at houses, so whether we move or not, I consider it a good waste of a day.  We ended the evening by going to the store, getting some meat for dinner but not too much since tomorrow night is a good reason to grill up some wings and fajitas for the Super Bowl.

2/3/18 A Futile And Stupid Gesture? (Netflix Movie)

    Finding this little gem felt like finding a full size Snickers bar after you thought all the good Halloween candy had been eaten.  It has quite a few scenes that are laugh out loud funny plus moments where you can see and reminisce about old movies and the casts sitting around that were such huge names back in the day.  It is not a perfect movie, the end has a terrible fact but they try and keep it funny, nonetheless.
    The movie follows Doug Kenney, played by Will Forte who is kind of hard to like on The Last Man on Earth, but does a better job here.  They do a clumsy start which I think was forced to show a funeral giving the whole movie a somber filling, and I think maybe the death of his brother/sister was something that was always lingering although it is not really discussed.  The real start to the movie happens a few seconds later and this time he is in college, Harvard to be exact, and we are told of his meeting Henry Beard who becomes a lifelong friend.  They end up writing for the Harvard Lampoon and this gives Doug the idea to create their own magazine after they graduate.  Beard goes along only to humor Kenney as it never appears that he is as sold on the idea, but he does stick with it.  Doug is a genius and the magazine succeeds after awhile, which only puts more pressure to make more and before long they are doing a radio show once a week that lasts an hour.  This of course succeeds as well.
    It is just amazing that the magazine gathered so many future greats in its youth, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Gilda Radner, John Belushi, amongst so many others.  By 1978, the magazine had made them rich and Kenney needed more, he headed to California and somewhere along the way wrote Animal House which made Belushi a household name.  This was the highest grossing comedy movie until Ghostbusters came out in 1984, with Bill Murray, so there was still a connection.  All this success went to his head and this made him a flaky individual, regularly taking off and not telling others of his whereabouts.
    His next movie was Caddyshack which he wrote to tell the upper snobs that they weren't better than his Dad who was a tennis pro at a country club.  He just about lost his mind when critics didn't label Caddyshack another masterpiece.  Chevy Chase goes with him to "get away" as the two have become good friends but Chevy needs to get back to work.  Eventually, he is left alone after his wife visits him briefly.  It is believed that he fell "accidentally" from a ledge to his death, but the scene shows his shoes and glasses neatly set up like he was hanging there for a while.
    This was a man who burned bright and fast.  He still had so much to create and do, but once you start on that path of drugs, it is very hard to get off.  In the movie they showed him very clearly enjoying as much cocaine as he could afford to buy.  Who knows what else he might have produced for us to enjoy, but Animal House and Caddyshack are heralded as some of the best comedies of their time.

2/2/18 "I'm A Good Dad?"

    Javalina is at a point where he communicates with a  lot of sarcasm and silly teenage humor.  I picked him up as usual and he was hungry as usual.  I told him that because he had whined to mama about not having breakfast stuff, we were going to run to Target, so no restaurant today.  He really didn't like that, but I told him too bad.  For an example of his humor, I started humming "Another One Bites The Dust" by Queen after the last three times we passed by the nursing home by our house and there was an ambulance.  This time he started singing it, as he remembered my comment from the day before.  We then happened to see an ambulance in another part of Southpark Meadows and I told him "Look, one of the old farts got that far, but Ole Grim Reaper caught him anyway."  He then says :I wonder if the Grim Reaper hums "Another one Bites The Dust" before he strikes?  I then reminded him that wasn't funny, and he agreed we suck for laughing.
    After Hobby Lobby and Target, I finally got him Panda Express that he wanted, even as I was telling him "fine, I guess dad doesn't eat today."  Every time I eat there I burp and feel disgusting on the inside, so I don't anymore.  At this, he got a little serious and said that "I am a good Dad."  I said "yeah, I know."  He continued, "I am starting to see some of my friends don't have it good like we do, some already don't have their dads around and some say that all the dad does is fight with everyone in the house."  I said "yeah, you are lucky.  I saw it with Boy and his friends too.  Men generally suck, and they want to be selfish or I don't know, but it is hard for parents to stay together, you are one of the lucky ones, I ain't going nowhere, unless ole Grim gets me."
    Sometimes it feels like I am living a boring life, just working and sleeping and coming home.  I can see why some men would run at some point, but then again, I know the boys need me.  I am their anchor and those simple words from Javalina were very nice.  As far as his friends, I am sure some more of them will end up in the divorce pile before he is done with high school.  Boy's friends were 90% from divorced couples.  There was a father here and there, but for the most part, not really.  DD says I have been more of a father figure in his life than his father ever was, and I have only known him since about 7th grade.  Other friends of Boy have said this to me over the years.  I consider it a nice compliment, and they all know I am there to listen to their problems.  I like Javalina being so aware though, about time, usually he is trying to punch me in the kidneys or kick me.