We went home to visit my folks a couple days ago. It was fine, same old thing it seems, each time. Is that what we are supposed to do? Just tell the same stories, be the same people we always were. Eat the same hamburgers we always eat. I don't mind my role, I was the oldest, the one that helped out my mom the most, so any old story of me, usually has a spin of me looking good.
Is it possible to move some bricks though, make the memories we access more real, more vivid. I like to use deductive reasoning in conversation. If you say I like going down to the lake and swimming, but I don't take a bathing suit. Ok, you either like swimming naked or you swim in your pants, if you then say I prefer going to the lake at night, ok, you probably enjoy swimming naked by the moonlight, cool beans. It is not fair to then say No. There is a friend's house and I borrow a bathing suit and we swim in their pool. What the hell, then don't mention all the other crap that has nothing to do with nothing.
If I tell you prom night, my girlfriend and I went over to the next town and rented a hotel room. My next sentence is not going to be "don't you dare assume we did anything more than a PG rating in that room. I married that chick, we are in our 40's, we did what you do in a hotel room at 18. At this point, I have nothing to be embarrassed about, all good times. We left some half empty containers of whipped cream in the sink, or maybe that was another time.
Everything starts building this solemn attitude to the point that nothing can be made fun of. At a certain point I felt like I should just put on my funeral suit and be serious. Somebody's bound to die any day now, the way everyone walks around looking injured and/or offended. Then somebody always says, "you wouldn't consider coming back?" In full seriousness, like I am failing out here on my own. Our home mortgage is kicking our ass at the moment, yes, but I don't even see it as that big of a deal. We have our original home, which we could always sell and currently, we would make a tidy profit from it. But my thoughts are still to leave a few homes to our sons to help them make extra income from or if need be, they could live in them. We also own a piece of land out by Lake Canyon, and hopefully someday we build it up with a vacation cabin. I am not leaving all this to go live in my hometown of 8000-9000 people in the middle of nowhere. Plus I hate other people's kids, why would I want to teach? Working in the oil fields would be great, but I am currently sitting in a room with A/C, sipping coffee and eating pumpkin pie, listening to music from Youtube, contemplating watching a movie on Netflix, ooh, let me go to pee real quick, and I don't mean next to a cactus, in a private bathroom down the hall. I've been here 19 years, they'll need to fire me to make me leave. This place is the cat's pajamas and the bee's knees all rolled into one.
Sorry peeps, but if you're going to involve me, I need it real. We don't live in a fairy tale book where everybody lives happily ever after. We argue, we fight, sometimes we call each other idiots and assholes, but it's all in the beauty of making life. I guess I'll keep visiting the museum, I'll just be mindful of the hours and house rules, those curators are a persnickety bunch.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
12/31/14 2014 or 2015 Keep Them Feet Pumping Fat Boy?
As another year ticks off, we all claim to make changes, to live better, to see family more, to change bad habits. Ehh, we are pretty much animals and unless acted upon by an outside force, we rarely have motivation enough to change. I've tried year after year, I'll work out more, I'll eat less, maybe we'll go visit our hometown more often. Then reality hits, I work a twelve hour shift, although I can find time to work out, we have a gym at work, I end up feeling guilty, always leaving my younger kid, either with my wife or other son, to get my time in. Eventually, I ignore the gym, what am I gonna do, pick up hot chicks? No, I'm a fat dad, who cares what I look like. My wife tried changing our diets. We went on a liquid diet, sometime in the summer. Seemed to be working, I lost 10 pounds within the first two weeks, but it didn't agree with my wife, she said it cost too much to be buying fruits and vegetables to be making health shakes every day. Blender got put away. My folks come up from our small hometown in the middle of nowhere. They enjoy going to the mall, eating out. If they are retired and can afford to come up once a month, why should we make the three hour drive. We both work, usually one of us has to do something on a weekend for work. It feels like we are constantly running in place, just to keep up with our busy lives.
Our big push for the new year is to continue helping our son on his third year at Tx State, our younger boy keep shining in 4th grade. We have a couple adventures, such as going on a week getaway on our timeshare in the Spring. My In-laws want to go to Disney in the summer, plus we have an RV, we'll use that for a couple months on the coast in the summer. Add in my folks coming up to visit every three-four weeks, my wife having to go out of town on conferences, football season in the fall, Schlitterbahn season passes good all spring and summer, and all of a sudden there's barely any time to rest. Plus call me lame, but I love going to a zoo. So we go once a year, usually to SA Zoo. This year we saw the Dallas Zoo, very nice. Spare the "zoos are cruel BS, more animals would be extinct without them at this point. And where would most of us see a hippo take a big ole dump in the water, if not for the SA Zoo. That was awesome, just poof, water changed to a green mixture, everything went cloudy for a second. It was hilarious for my young boy who loves the poop humor.
Speaking of the timeshare, yes we are one of the "dummies" that got duped into purchasing, but so far, it has been good. We bought with Silverleaf Resorts. Maybe it's not the best use of our money, but by doing so, we have been able to take a couple trips we normally would not have. We went and stayed a week by Lake Palestine at The Villages. The units were a little older, but the experience was cool. We were surrounded by tall pine trees, the lake was about a hundred yards from our doorstep. We managed to go to Louisiana and Dallas on IH-20, and we normally would never have done that. We ended up in a gator farm, right at the Texas Louisiana border, and I thought overall, it was a very good trip. Also had getaway weekends to Galveston, Lake Conroe, and the original location in New Braunfels. They call, right now they've been calling, they want us to go and visit another Resort. I think that's cool, it keeps us interested and we get to travel to a different destination. You get a standard week to use, but they offer "get away" weekends which we can use anytime, provided they have openings at a resort. We get a website which shows the resorts and we are free to choose where we want to go, as long as we are flexible, this can work to our advantage. Silverleaf has 13 resorts affiliated with them, and our plan is to visit all of them, from Texas to Maine and Florida.
Our big push for the new year is to continue helping our son on his third year at Tx State, our younger boy keep shining in 4th grade. We have a couple adventures, such as going on a week getaway on our timeshare in the Spring. My In-laws want to go to Disney in the summer, plus we have an RV, we'll use that for a couple months on the coast in the summer. Add in my folks coming up to visit every three-four weeks, my wife having to go out of town on conferences, football season in the fall, Schlitterbahn season passes good all spring and summer, and all of a sudden there's barely any time to rest. Plus call me lame, but I love going to a zoo. So we go once a year, usually to SA Zoo. This year we saw the Dallas Zoo, very nice. Spare the "zoos are cruel BS, more animals would be extinct without them at this point. And where would most of us see a hippo take a big ole dump in the water, if not for the SA Zoo. That was awesome, just poof, water changed to a green mixture, everything went cloudy for a second. It was hilarious for my young boy who loves the poop humor.
Speaking of the timeshare, yes we are one of the "dummies" that got duped into purchasing, but so far, it has been good. We bought with Silverleaf Resorts. Maybe it's not the best use of our money, but by doing so, we have been able to take a couple trips we normally would not have. We went and stayed a week by Lake Palestine at The Villages. The units were a little older, but the experience was cool. We were surrounded by tall pine trees, the lake was about a hundred yards from our doorstep. We managed to go to Louisiana and Dallas on IH-20, and we normally would never have done that. We ended up in a gator farm, right at the Texas Louisiana border, and I thought overall, it was a very good trip. Also had getaway weekends to Galveston, Lake Conroe, and the original location in New Braunfels. They call, right now they've been calling, they want us to go and visit another Resort. I think that's cool, it keeps us interested and we get to travel to a different destination. You get a standard week to use, but they offer "get away" weekends which we can use anytime, provided they have openings at a resort. We get a website which shows the resorts and we are free to choose where we want to go, as long as we are flexible, this can work to our advantage. Silverleaf has 13 resorts affiliated with them, and our plan is to visit all of them, from Texas to Maine and Florida.
Monday, December 29, 2014
12/30/14 Can You Listen To One Shitty Song?
New Year, New Me? Nah. I'm cool, as Adam Carolla says, y'all need to step up, I'm doing all right. For the new year, try listening to a new song from some band you would think is not for you. We all have genres we like, that are comfortable, fit our personalities. You boot wearers, long live George Strait, yee-haw. Every musician is dying to get on the radio, to get their message out. There is music with meaning and lyrics dealing with loss and hardship and birth and everything in between.
Your mind can be expanded by allowing others' thoughts to permeate you. This is the beauty of the internet age, everyone has access to all the information, most will only unlock that which agrees with them. Of course, if you're never challenged, you will never be proven wrong. I say experience discomfort. To quote Socrates, one of the first Greek philosophers: Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.
Tonight, I was listening to James Blunt, one of his songs "Tears and Rain" mentioned Dorian Gray, and it rang in my head, I've heard the name before. Dorian Gray comes from a novel written by Oscar Wilde in 1891 and apparently there is Dorian Gray Syndrome, which is having extreme pride in one's personal appearance, accompanied by difficulties in coping with psychological maturation and aging physically. Wilde got a lot of flack back then, reviewers called for his prosecution for violating laws guarding public morality.
I find this type of discovery fascinating. Now I have to go get the book by Oscar Wilde and read it. I'll write about that later, I reckon. There is always more room for learning, and really, it helps make one more interesting. Same holds true for books, magazines, movies, TV shows. Any media device is bound to have new thoughts you had not conjured up or spent time on.
Start with the baby steps. Listen to one artist you wouldn't consider. I can go from country to jazz, to pop, to everything in between, all music can be good. Most of us poop on rap, but I'm coming around, I listen to the big acts Ludacris, Nikki Minaj, and it can be entertaining. Recently, I found Jason Derulo "Wiggle". Song starts with Snoop Dogg telling the main singer to talk to a girl, he turns to camera and states "I got one question, How'd you fit all that, in them jeans?" Snoop Dogg looks at him like what? Then he finishes his smooth line "you know what to do with that big fat butt! Wiggle wiggle wiggle. Hilarity ensues. Perfect song for 2014 as even Entertainment Weekly labeled 2014 the year the butt came back, with many of the leading ladies putting out various butt songs.
So explore the internet, explore television, go out and explore a library, I've got a library card in my wallet right now. I promise, you won't fill your brain to the breaking point, and you just might learn something new. My hero up above Adam Carolla tells a story about his dad borrowing albums from the library back in the 70s and with the South California heat the albums would be all warped and stuff. I laughed at the story, but the libraries do have CDs and they can be borrowed. I like checking out Jazz CDs, they are hard to find in music stores, and is a way to find music that might not be on YouTube or anywhere else online. An old classic like Chuck Mangione blasting away on flugelhorn, or Cab Calloway leading and singing with a big jazz band. I love high energy guys, those that put their sweat and soul into the music.
Your mind can be expanded by allowing others' thoughts to permeate you. This is the beauty of the internet age, everyone has access to all the information, most will only unlock that which agrees with them. Of course, if you're never challenged, you will never be proven wrong. I say experience discomfort. To quote Socrates, one of the first Greek philosophers: Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.
Tonight, I was listening to James Blunt, one of his songs "Tears and Rain" mentioned Dorian Gray, and it rang in my head, I've heard the name before. Dorian Gray comes from a novel written by Oscar Wilde in 1891 and apparently there is Dorian Gray Syndrome, which is having extreme pride in one's personal appearance, accompanied by difficulties in coping with psychological maturation and aging physically. Wilde got a lot of flack back then, reviewers called for his prosecution for violating laws guarding public morality.
I find this type of discovery fascinating. Now I have to go get the book by Oscar Wilde and read it. I'll write about that later, I reckon. There is always more room for learning, and really, it helps make one more interesting. Same holds true for books, magazines, movies, TV shows. Any media device is bound to have new thoughts you had not conjured up or spent time on.
Start with the baby steps. Listen to one artist you wouldn't consider. I can go from country to jazz, to pop, to everything in between, all music can be good. Most of us poop on rap, but I'm coming around, I listen to the big acts Ludacris, Nikki Minaj, and it can be entertaining. Recently, I found Jason Derulo "Wiggle". Song starts with Snoop Dogg telling the main singer to talk to a girl, he turns to camera and states "I got one question, How'd you fit all that, in them jeans?" Snoop Dogg looks at him like what? Then he finishes his smooth line "you know what to do with that big fat butt! Wiggle wiggle wiggle. Hilarity ensues. Perfect song for 2014 as even Entertainment Weekly labeled 2014 the year the butt came back, with many of the leading ladies putting out various butt songs.
So explore the internet, explore television, go out and explore a library, I've got a library card in my wallet right now. I promise, you won't fill your brain to the breaking point, and you just might learn something new. My hero up above Adam Carolla tells a story about his dad borrowing albums from the library back in the 70s and with the South California heat the albums would be all warped and stuff. I laughed at the story, but the libraries do have CDs and they can be borrowed. I like checking out Jazz CDs, they are hard to find in music stores, and is a way to find music that might not be on YouTube or anywhere else online. An old classic like Chuck Mangione blasting away on flugelhorn, or Cab Calloway leading and singing with a big jazz band. I love high energy guys, those that put their sweat and soul into the music.
Sunday, December 28, 2014
12/29/14 Do You Believe In UFOs?
Some of my blogs are farcical, talking about being 300 years old and such. But this is true.
I believe in UFOs, and I believe I saw one back in 1992-1993. I was going to UT in Austin and had gone home for the summer. The time is not exact to me, but I was driving my Ranger which I got in 1991 and my oldest son was not yet born, that was in 1994. So that's my timeframe. Anyways, I was back home and my wife (at the time girlfriend) and I were country cruising. About the only thing you can do in a shitty small town, specially if you are a little anti social as I was back then.
We were on the road I take most of the time, leads to Brundage, then left turn to Dilley and you are on IH-35 in less than an hour. About 4-5 miles out of town, we saw what I can only describe as a UFO. It was hovering about fifty to one hundred yards above the ground and it had lights, yellow, blue, green, just a few, and very much like the space ship on Close Encounters of The Third Kind. We kept driving to it until my wife got scared and said turn back. I have never claimed to be that brave, I turned back quickly and we went home to tell my Mom. She didn't believe me, so we took her out there. She was as in shock or awe as we were. What do you do? We drove towards it, but my mom also said no, stop, turn back, whatever it is, it doesn't feel right.
Whatever it was, it hovered there for at least the half hour it took us to see it, go home, convince my mom, drive back to it, and then leave again. It was a good 200-300 yards wide, given that it was up floating, night was dark, but you could make out the outline and it did have the lights around the fattest "belly" part. They were just flashing and changing, slowly.
My uncle was a cop back then and we asked him about it. He said there were a lot of reports but it was just an airplane landing in an old airport down there. I could believe that if it moved, but this thing was not moving and it was on both sides of the road. Nothing but fields of crops in that area. A downed plane maybe a jumbo airliner would match the size and lights, but it would have crashed there, and we did not see anything there the next day. A plane landing would not have been allowed to block the road for that long, and we would have seen cops or EMS or something to help guide whatever out of there.
As I said, this was all true, ask my wife, those that know me, or my mom. I may be grounded in reality and even label myself atheist, but I do believe I have seen a UFO, and I know it sounds crazy, but facts is facts, Ma'am, and or Sir.
I believe in UFOs, and I believe I saw one back in 1992-1993. I was going to UT in Austin and had gone home for the summer. The time is not exact to me, but I was driving my Ranger which I got in 1991 and my oldest son was not yet born, that was in 1994. So that's my timeframe. Anyways, I was back home and my wife (at the time girlfriend) and I were country cruising. About the only thing you can do in a shitty small town, specially if you are a little anti social as I was back then.
We were on the road I take most of the time, leads to Brundage, then left turn to Dilley and you are on IH-35 in less than an hour. About 4-5 miles out of town, we saw what I can only describe as a UFO. It was hovering about fifty to one hundred yards above the ground and it had lights, yellow, blue, green, just a few, and very much like the space ship on Close Encounters of The Third Kind. We kept driving to it until my wife got scared and said turn back. I have never claimed to be that brave, I turned back quickly and we went home to tell my Mom. She didn't believe me, so we took her out there. She was as in shock or awe as we were. What do you do? We drove towards it, but my mom also said no, stop, turn back, whatever it is, it doesn't feel right.
Whatever it was, it hovered there for at least the half hour it took us to see it, go home, convince my mom, drive back to it, and then leave again. It was a good 200-300 yards wide, given that it was up floating, night was dark, but you could make out the outline and it did have the lights around the fattest "belly" part. They were just flashing and changing, slowly.
My uncle was a cop back then and we asked him about it. He said there were a lot of reports but it was just an airplane landing in an old airport down there. I could believe that if it moved, but this thing was not moving and it was on both sides of the road. Nothing but fields of crops in that area. A downed plane maybe a jumbo airliner would match the size and lights, but it would have crashed there, and we did not see anything there the next day. A plane landing would not have been allowed to block the road for that long, and we would have seen cops or EMS or something to help guide whatever out of there.
As I said, this was all true, ask my wife, those that know me, or my mom. I may be grounded in reality and even label myself atheist, but I do believe I have seen a UFO, and I know it sounds crazy, but facts is facts, Ma'am, and or Sir.
Saturday, December 27, 2014
12/28/14 Who Wins, No One or Everyone?
I was thinking about a story you hear growing up, one of those Aesop's Fables. In the story, we meet a hard working ant and a lazy free spirited grasshopper. In this example, the hard worker eventually "defeats" the free spirit and gets to theoretically survive the winter on its food reserves while the grasshopper presumably dies.
Posthumously, we are supposed to learn from the grasshopper that we should always plan ahead. There is a hidden, more important lesson, rarely discussed.
The grasshopper is a different creature than the ant, it is in the ant's DNA to work itself to death. Does an ant ever really enjoy itself? It goes to picnics, but does it hang out, or is it always in formation, trying to take what is not his, for his future consumption? It plans for a feast many of its kind don't even live to see. Some ant life cycles are only a few months, such as the black ant. Which means the food it so desperately stole from some human gets consumed by its brother that hasn't even been born. Such great sacrifice for the good of the colony.
Grasshoppers, on the other hand live about 12 months, but only one of those months as an adult and it must reproduce before the cold, by which it then dies. Then it will be an egg, dormant in the soil for about 10 months.
I think a better lesson to learn from this particular fable is that we are all indeed different. Some of us must be good little soldiers, enlist then, where structure can be fed you and thus your skillset and strength of character forged with like minded folk. Learn the arts of discipline, of being the one called upon when life is on the line, when the brave stand up and do what is right for the good of their country, even if you do not survive to see the fruits of your labor.
For some, it is better to live a white hot life, create something that will live on, even at great peril to your life. This happens too often to our artists, beautiful creatures, different, for sure, but in this difference they create for the rest of us. How many artists are taken in the prime of their lives, age 27 seems to be a magic number for many of these types.
There is nothing wrong with either lifestyles, provided you understand the consequences. We can all poo-poo the idea of drugs, but some of the great music and literature was aided by drugs, like it or not. Edgar Allen Poe was a genius, also an alcoholic and quite probably an opium addict. Amy Winehouse, just passed away, made some beautiful music, but you could see the drugs eating her away. Say what you will of the person, their art will live on for the rest of us to enjoy.
I can now say I take offense to comparing quite different animals, what's Aesop gonna do next, race a rabbit against a turtle and tell us the turtle wins? This is unfair and almost insulting in this world of more than seven billion people. Let us be different, provided we can all be of service to us.
Posthumously, we are supposed to learn from the grasshopper that we should always plan ahead. There is a hidden, more important lesson, rarely discussed.
The grasshopper is a different creature than the ant, it is in the ant's DNA to work itself to death. Does an ant ever really enjoy itself? It goes to picnics, but does it hang out, or is it always in formation, trying to take what is not his, for his future consumption? It plans for a feast many of its kind don't even live to see. Some ant life cycles are only a few months, such as the black ant. Which means the food it so desperately stole from some human gets consumed by its brother that hasn't even been born. Such great sacrifice for the good of the colony.
Grasshoppers, on the other hand live about 12 months, but only one of those months as an adult and it must reproduce before the cold, by which it then dies. Then it will be an egg, dormant in the soil for about 10 months.
I think a better lesson to learn from this particular fable is that we are all indeed different. Some of us must be good little soldiers, enlist then, where structure can be fed you and thus your skillset and strength of character forged with like minded folk. Learn the arts of discipline, of being the one called upon when life is on the line, when the brave stand up and do what is right for the good of their country, even if you do not survive to see the fruits of your labor.
For some, it is better to live a white hot life, create something that will live on, even at great peril to your life. This happens too often to our artists, beautiful creatures, different, for sure, but in this difference they create for the rest of us. How many artists are taken in the prime of their lives, age 27 seems to be a magic number for many of these types.
There is nothing wrong with either lifestyles, provided you understand the consequences. We can all poo-poo the idea of drugs, but some of the great music and literature was aided by drugs, like it or not. Edgar Allen Poe was a genius, also an alcoholic and quite probably an opium addict. Amy Winehouse, just passed away, made some beautiful music, but you could see the drugs eating her away. Say what you will of the person, their art will live on for the rest of us to enjoy.
I can now say I take offense to comparing quite different animals, what's Aesop gonna do next, race a rabbit against a turtle and tell us the turtle wins? This is unfair and almost insulting in this world of more than seven billion people. Let us be different, provided we can all be of service to us.
Friday, December 26, 2014
12/27/14 You Want To Be A Man? #3
In my forty three plus year journey, I have learned a thing or two. Believe me, I don't live with my head in the dirt, always, I tell me boys, head on a swivel. Look around, learn, good people always want to teach others. It is a pleasure to see a young person pick up a good habit from you, especially when you take pleasure in doing a job or activity.
My third point on the road to being a productive man, once you are responsible for your actions and have gotten in the habit of being punctual, is learn. Learn from the books, pamphlets, power points. Especially, learn from the people that do the work. Employers don't want knuckledraggers, they want people with some spark, some ability. Looking good in the company shirt works for the model in the commercial, the other 99.9% of employees have to actually deliver the goods, make it, present the data, whatever your job description. The reality of a job can be downright dirty, but you do it, and you learn to do it well because you want to be a man,
My boy is a server at Alamo Drafthouse, seems like once a month or so, somebody trips him runs into him, or he just loses concentration and he spills a tray full of drinks. It is embarrassing, and a lesser person would want to run and hide, but he toughs it out, cleans the mess, best he can and keeps moving. One of those times, he even got a root beer float dumped on his back by some kid. It was all accidental, I'm sure he wanted to kick the kid, but he took it like a man and cleaned up. That kinda stuff makes me proud of my Boy. Some day he'll be an engineer or something like that, but he is learning the value of a dollar right now, and he is seeing and learning what it can be like when the opportunity we are giving him to get a degree is not there.
He does pay attention, and even though he does it only part time, while in school, they have offered a few opportunities, such as becoming a trainer, or becoming a waiter, not just a server. He doesn't want to commit because we tell him school is his priority, but maybe during the summer, he can do more for them. This is because he shows up ready and alert, and thus he kicks ass on the floor.
Similarly, I started my career at AMD some 19 years ago. I tried coming in as an engineer, but they would not hire me. So I took an alternate route, I started as an operator, working in the fab, making wafers (semiconductor chips, stuff that goes in computers). After a year, I looked for an opportunity, and found one on night shift. My salary doubled overnight and I found a job I loved doing for three years, still working in the fab, but as an engineer. When things started looking bad, I found a position elsewhere within AMD, and by luck, I ended up in the cushiest position imaginable. Maybe the work just agrees with me, but I love what I do, doesn't even feel like work when I have the coffee going and the music blasting. Sounds easy enough, but those of us left have had to survive like seven different layoffs. Seems like every two or three years this place shakes off people.
Best I can tell you, go in to a new work environment with eyes wide open, learn as much as you can, make yourself valuable, not the nugget that can be fired cause the boss is hung over. Offer yourself to work those hours nobody else wants to do. I worked through about 12-14 years of Thanksgivings when I started. It's been only the last two or three that I have been home for that holiday. At this moment, it is Friday December 26, most everybody is home on a Friday evening. I am at work, doing OT, I don't let those opportunities slip by.
My third point on the road to being a productive man, once you are responsible for your actions and have gotten in the habit of being punctual, is learn. Learn from the books, pamphlets, power points. Especially, learn from the people that do the work. Employers don't want knuckledraggers, they want people with some spark, some ability. Looking good in the company shirt works for the model in the commercial, the other 99.9% of employees have to actually deliver the goods, make it, present the data, whatever your job description. The reality of a job can be downright dirty, but you do it, and you learn to do it well because you want to be a man,
My boy is a server at Alamo Drafthouse, seems like once a month or so, somebody trips him runs into him, or he just loses concentration and he spills a tray full of drinks. It is embarrassing, and a lesser person would want to run and hide, but he toughs it out, cleans the mess, best he can and keeps moving. One of those times, he even got a root beer float dumped on his back by some kid. It was all accidental, I'm sure he wanted to kick the kid, but he took it like a man and cleaned up. That kinda stuff makes me proud of my Boy. Some day he'll be an engineer or something like that, but he is learning the value of a dollar right now, and he is seeing and learning what it can be like when the opportunity we are giving him to get a degree is not there.
He does pay attention, and even though he does it only part time, while in school, they have offered a few opportunities, such as becoming a trainer, or becoming a waiter, not just a server. He doesn't want to commit because we tell him school is his priority, but maybe during the summer, he can do more for them. This is because he shows up ready and alert, and thus he kicks ass on the floor.
Similarly, I started my career at AMD some 19 years ago. I tried coming in as an engineer, but they would not hire me. So I took an alternate route, I started as an operator, working in the fab, making wafers (semiconductor chips, stuff that goes in computers). After a year, I looked for an opportunity, and found one on night shift. My salary doubled overnight and I found a job I loved doing for three years, still working in the fab, but as an engineer. When things started looking bad, I found a position elsewhere within AMD, and by luck, I ended up in the cushiest position imaginable. Maybe the work just agrees with me, but I love what I do, doesn't even feel like work when I have the coffee going and the music blasting. Sounds easy enough, but those of us left have had to survive like seven different layoffs. Seems like every two or three years this place shakes off people.
Best I can tell you, go in to a new work environment with eyes wide open, learn as much as you can, make yourself valuable, not the nugget that can be fired cause the boss is hung over. Offer yourself to work those hours nobody else wants to do. I worked through about 12-14 years of Thanksgivings when I started. It's been only the last two or three that I have been home for that holiday. At this moment, it is Friday December 26, most everybody is home on a Friday evening. I am at work, doing OT, I don't let those opportunities slip by.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
12/26/14 Bacon Double Whataburger Please?
My wife and boys just went to visit her Mom the last two nights. All's good, she should do it more often, I always say. Me being addicted to work and always chasing another dollar, stayed behind to work before our Christmas Shutdown. Since my in house Chef is gone, I have to fend for myself. Anytime this happens, I end up eating Whataburger. There aren't many burgers that beat their bacon double meat burger. I even let them put mustard and I don't like mustard except on hot dogs. I've eaten this three and four nights in a row, I don't have time to run around all over on my lunch break. I don't have to because this is the king of burgers.
I pick up my younger kid after school every day and most of the time we head to one of about 5-8 different places we eat after school lunch at. I don't think I could offer my boy the same meal every day, we even change up if we ate chicken yesterday, today it has to be pizza or a sub. I want him used to changing it up, I might be a little mechanical, or a little OCD. Maybe everybody is like that, I don't know. But I don't want to make my boy like that, although my older son has a lot of my traits, just on his own. Maybe I should make them be like me, I am that awesome. I kid....
Another thing I have noticed, I'll eat the same thing at any given restaurant. If we go to Chick-Fil-A, it's the nuggets, Bill Miller, it's always the #4 with chicken tenders.... side note, if you go to a fish place, eat fish, if you go to a steak restaurant, don't be a mook, order a freaking steak. Although, the first time I went to Outback, I didn't even want to look at the menu, I just asked the waitress I want some kangaroo, I was a little disappointed, but their steaks are very good.
At home, the only cooking I attempt is grilling. I love meat off the grill, and I do enjoy variety here. This year we started grilling wings,had never done them before, not much meat, but my younger boy loves them so we came up with our own version of hot wings. They are delicious and a little addicting. But so are our kabobs with pieces of rump roast, fajitas, burgers, always have sausages, which work for lunch the next day as leftovers, various cuts of pork, chicken, and then occasionally exotic pieces like sweetbreads which are cow glands and/ or pancreas. This is a Mexican thing, but dammit, they're good. Takes effort to get them crispy, but they are worth it.
I guess by myself, I simplify to the quickest meal that will satisfy me. But with company, I like to go out of my way, so that there is satisfaction and interest. I love trying a new place with company. Just tried a new pizza place, New York style, one slice was enough to fill me, it was cool, we will be going back, but not by myself. I will continue my solo love affair with that meaty bacon demon hiding between the buns.
I pick up my younger kid after school every day and most of the time we head to one of about 5-8 different places we eat after school lunch at. I don't think I could offer my boy the same meal every day, we even change up if we ate chicken yesterday, today it has to be pizza or a sub. I want him used to changing it up, I might be a little mechanical, or a little OCD. Maybe everybody is like that, I don't know. But I don't want to make my boy like that, although my older son has a lot of my traits, just on his own. Maybe I should make them be like me, I am that awesome. I kid....
Another thing I have noticed, I'll eat the same thing at any given restaurant. If we go to Chick-Fil-A, it's the nuggets, Bill Miller, it's always the #4 with chicken tenders.... side note, if you go to a fish place, eat fish, if you go to a steak restaurant, don't be a mook, order a freaking steak. Although, the first time I went to Outback, I didn't even want to look at the menu, I just asked the waitress I want some kangaroo, I was a little disappointed, but their steaks are very good.
At home, the only cooking I attempt is grilling. I love meat off the grill, and I do enjoy variety here. This year we started grilling wings,had never done them before, not much meat, but my younger boy loves them so we came up with our own version of hot wings. They are delicious and a little addicting. But so are our kabobs with pieces of rump roast, fajitas, burgers, always have sausages, which work for lunch the next day as leftovers, various cuts of pork, chicken, and then occasionally exotic pieces like sweetbreads which are cow glands and/ or pancreas. This is a Mexican thing, but dammit, they're good. Takes effort to get them crispy, but they are worth it.
I guess by myself, I simplify to the quickest meal that will satisfy me. But with company, I like to go out of my way, so that there is satisfaction and interest. I love trying a new place with company. Just tried a new pizza place, New York style, one slice was enough to fill me, it was cool, we will be going back, but not by myself. I will continue my solo love affair with that meaty bacon demon hiding between the buns.
12/25/14 How Was Your Day, Diary?
Hello Diary,
Today was busy busy. I worked last night, got home around 630am, cut my hair, in case pictures were taken, got to bed by 730am. I was awoken by my Lil Husky aroound 1:00pm. As always, he was hungry and we had last minute buys to take care of. I showered, dressed and off we went. I love when the four of us can get together, glad the older is done with his first semester, we are finally seeing him enough that I want to go to work. Just kidding, but he has been around a lot more.
On our way out the door, my neighbor stopped us to give us a Christmas gift. This was probably a thank you for saving her house last week, one night while going back to work I noticed a flood of water coming from her garage. I dove in and swam them and their dogs out to safety. No, I rang the doorbell and let her know water was coming out from under her garage doors. She thanked us with homemade salsa. We then went to Central Market to get some tasty treats, I just love their breads. Boy got some overpriced sodas, he knows I can't say no, and Chubs got some fancy cookies that were way overpriced and a small fruitcake. Oh well, It's the Holidays, and I'm feeling festive. We still hadn't eaten, so we stopped at Wendy's on the way home. Boy was telling us about work and some super nerdy dungeons and dragons inside jokes. Wife and I just looked at each other and said mmm-hmmm.
Back home, I was feeling full and really wanted to nap, but my wife insisted on raping me, and I can't say no to sex. Five minutes later, we were downstairs making cookies and messing with my new obsession, the blog. We chilled, wrapped a couple gifts, drank a couple oh adult drinks. Tried some egg nog with good rum, it was yummy. Then we sat and watched Edge Of Tomorrow with Tom Cruise, it was loud and ok. Ate some ham, and homemade dip, and drank a Christmas Beer, followed by some Ginger Beer with cranberry soda. Kinda zoned out after the movie, but rallied like a champ. Boys went to bed, Chubs was nervous, looking at Santa tracker, he was getting close. He made an executive decision and told older brother to go to bed. Being he wasn't doing anything productive, he agreed. Both boys asleep by midnight, we stayed up to watch Scrooged, and most of Harold And Kumar Christmas, and even a little of a Warehouse 13 Christmas episode. Oh yeah, Mom called to remind me I didn't call to say Merry Christmas, sorry about that, with the boys out, it seemed so quiet.
Saw Santa do his magic right as we were coming upstairs, and now at 3:19am, I am gonna do my magic again and hide the salami. Merry Christmas Little Guy.
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
12/25/14 Can I Have Twelve Dirty Fantasies? (poem)
My wife wants me to have fun with this, so unbunch yo panties, Uptight Peeps. I don't particularly care for the twelve days of Christmas, but my wife wanted it to be a challenge. I apologize in advance.
On the first day of Christmas
my wifey gave to us:
A hoochie with Double D cups.
On the second day of Christmas
my wifey gave to me:
(one minute too many) but
two private minutes with the hoochie
On the third day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
three coworkers with big butts
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with Double D cups
On the fourth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
4 ibuprofen for the aches
3 coworkers with ample asses
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the fifth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
5 Hall Passes (good for a year)
4 ibuprofen for the lower back
3 coworkers with dominant dumpers
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the sixth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
6 days alone (to rest)
5 Hall Passes (still good for a year)
4 ibuprofen for my gonads
3 coworkers with grand derrieres
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the seventh day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
7 scoldings to stop being a lil bitch
6 days alone
5 Hall Passes
4 ibuprofen pains gone, coming back
3 coworkers with fat fannies
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
8 maids a milking (cause I'm a freak and a traditionalist)
7 scoldings (I feel better)
6 days alone (helped)
5 Hall Passes
4 ibuprofen (for laters, I'll overdo it again)
3 coworkers with husky haunches
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the ninth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
9 ladies lapdancing
8 maids a milking (give me a squirt for my coffee)
7 scoldings
6 days alone
5 Hall Passes (down to 4)
4 ibuprofen (might have to switch to penicillin, getting too busy in here)
3 coworkers with prodigious posteriors
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the tenth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
10 turkey dinners (feed all these peeps and send them away)
9 ladies lapdancing
8 maids a milking (you shot my eye out)
7 scoldings (my junk's not even working anymore)
6 days alone
5 (well 4 left) Hall Passes
4 penicillin shots (lapdancers were dirty)
3 coworkers with spacious seats
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the eleventh day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
11 taxicabs (start thinning the crowds)
10 turkey dinners (feed em and send them off)
9 ladies lapdancing
8 milking mamas (take off the piercing Dummy, it's a choke hazard)
7 scoldings (when will the nightmare end)
6 days alone (best part of this whole thing)
5 Hall Passes (4)
4 penicillin shots (I regret nothing)
3 coworkers with mammoth tushies
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the twelve day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
12 hours back on my shift (peace finally)
11 taxicabs (shaaah everybody)
10 turkey dinners (turkey leftovers now)
9 ladies lapdancing (not as fun as you'd think)
8 mamas milking (even more fun than you could imagine)
7 scoldings (yeah yeah yeah)
6 days alone
5 Hall Passes
4 penicillin shots
3 coworkers with king-sized keisters
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the first day of Christmas
my wifey gave to us:
A hoochie with Double D cups.
On the second day of Christmas
my wifey gave to me:
(one minute too many) but
two private minutes with the hoochie
On the third day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
three coworkers with big butts
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with Double D cups
On the fourth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
4 ibuprofen for the aches
3 coworkers with ample asses
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the fifth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
5 Hall Passes (good for a year)
4 ibuprofen for the lower back
3 coworkers with dominant dumpers
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the sixth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
6 days alone (to rest)
5 Hall Passes (still good for a year)
4 ibuprofen for my gonads
3 coworkers with grand derrieres
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the seventh day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
7 scoldings to stop being a lil bitch
6 days alone
5 Hall Passes
4 ibuprofen pains gone, coming back
3 coworkers with fat fannies
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
8 maids a milking (cause I'm a freak and a traditionalist)
7 scoldings (I feel better)
6 days alone (helped)
5 Hall Passes
4 ibuprofen (for laters, I'll overdo it again)
3 coworkers with husky haunches
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the ninth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
9 ladies lapdancing
8 maids a milking (give me a squirt for my coffee)
7 scoldings
6 days alone
5 Hall Passes (down to 4)
4 ibuprofen (might have to switch to penicillin, getting too busy in here)
3 coworkers with prodigious posteriors
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the tenth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
10 turkey dinners (feed all these peeps and send them away)
9 ladies lapdancing
8 maids a milking (you shot my eye out)
7 scoldings (my junk's not even working anymore)
6 days alone
5 (well 4 left) Hall Passes
4 penicillin shots (lapdancers were dirty)
3 coworkers with spacious seats
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the eleventh day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
11 taxicabs (start thinning the crowds)
10 turkey dinners (feed em and send them off)
9 ladies lapdancing
8 milking mamas (take off the piercing Dummy, it's a choke hazard)
7 scoldings (when will the nightmare end)
6 days alone (best part of this whole thing)
5 Hall Passes (4)
4 penicillin shots (I regret nothing)
3 coworkers with mammoth tushies
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
On the twelve day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
12 hours back on my shift (peace finally)
11 taxicabs (shaaah everybody)
10 turkey dinners (turkey leftovers now)
9 ladies lapdancing (not as fun as you'd think)
8 mamas milking (even more fun than you could imagine)
7 scoldings (yeah yeah yeah)
6 days alone
5 Hall Passes
4 penicillin shots
3 coworkers with king-sized keisters
2 private minutes
and a hoochie with double D cups
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
12/24/14 Can I Believe In You Santa?
Santa, you are so much more than a belly full of jelly and a sled full of toys. I believe in you because you bring hope and marvel to our innocent youth. You brighten what would surely be the glummest season of the year. Think instead of no twinkling lights down any random street, just cold and muddy sidewalks and streets, nothing to look forward to but January and an eventual freeze or two, at least for us in Texas. Your shiny lights give us a rally point to get together with family, dare I say, you even force a little holiday cheer at our shopping destinations, and what's more American than consumption of material goods.
I understand when old assholes insist there is no Santa, they pissed on their opportunity to brighten people's lives back when they had hope, when their kids wanted to experience magic. Now all they have to look forward to is their cold sad reality, bravo to you for destroying your kids' possibility, good riddance to those who have to piss on everything merry and joyous. One quick way to turn your frown upside down, is realize, you don't matter, do what you can for your kids. I know we all can't afford to go crazy, but something that tells them you care. Maybe a nice quality knife for an older kid, maybe just a new pant or shirt, if that's where you are at. Kids are kinda dumb, they are easy to please, they mostly want your attention, so get that stick out of your behind and come down to their level.
There's people with kids, in my own neighborhood, I hear you, sons of bitches, complaining because we celebrate the holidays. Big deal, we put up a couple lights for Halloween, we give candies until any and all kids get their fill, who cares if you're 18 and making one last run at your youth, it's harmless fun. Who cares if it's after the dreaded 9:00pm curfew? Better the kids taking some candies and giggling than egging my house, I always say.
Both my wife and I work full time, rare is the week I work less than 50 hours, same with my wife, adding in her commute time. But we make the effort, we consider it fun. I will take down the Halloween lights and start right up with Christmas. If there were lights to celebrate Thanksgiving, we would probably do that too, we're fat asses, we love to eat. I swear to anybody who asks, I am not putting up the lights to rain on your parade. Maybe you're allergic to red, green, and blue light combos, I don't know. But since I'm paying my mortgage and not rattling a cup for your assistance, why don't you mind your own beeswax?
My son is getting crap in school, now in fourth grade, bratty kids barely mastered the art of wiping their asses, they know it all, they all tell my son, Santa is fake, he doesn't exist. My son wants to believe. I am surprised the older boy doesn't poop on him too, but we've always said, start talking crap that Santa doesn't exist and the gifts go bye-bye.
I feel sad for the households that never experienced Santa, never got to wake up early and come down and see what magically somehow, some way just poof, showed up. I've played Santa for others when I could, like I said, doesn't take much, kids need to know we care about them. You could say I am being materialistic, and sure, I am, but isn't that the kind of country we live in, 'merica! Fuck Yeah!! And some of you are thinking but Jesus.... yeah yeah yeah, died on the cross, miracle miracle, but so depressing. I grew up going to that midnight mass, and all that catholic business. If you're going to believe a miracle, I say choose Santa, travels a million miles in one night, nobody dies, everyone is happy, for the price of a cookie.
So here's to you Santa, we'll watch the Christmas movies, we'll eat the Christmas candy, hell, I'll go shopping Christmas Eve, if it means the possibility of hearing your sleigh bells ringing as you dash through our neighborhood. I know my kids have been good and you will deliver a bounty for them. Merry Christmas Y'all!!!!
I understand when old assholes insist there is no Santa, they pissed on their opportunity to brighten people's lives back when they had hope, when their kids wanted to experience magic. Now all they have to look forward to is their cold sad reality, bravo to you for destroying your kids' possibility, good riddance to those who have to piss on everything merry and joyous. One quick way to turn your frown upside down, is realize, you don't matter, do what you can for your kids. I know we all can't afford to go crazy, but something that tells them you care. Maybe a nice quality knife for an older kid, maybe just a new pant or shirt, if that's where you are at. Kids are kinda dumb, they are easy to please, they mostly want your attention, so get that stick out of your behind and come down to their level.
There's people with kids, in my own neighborhood, I hear you, sons of bitches, complaining because we celebrate the holidays. Big deal, we put up a couple lights for Halloween, we give candies until any and all kids get their fill, who cares if you're 18 and making one last run at your youth, it's harmless fun. Who cares if it's after the dreaded 9:00pm curfew? Better the kids taking some candies and giggling than egging my house, I always say.
Both my wife and I work full time, rare is the week I work less than 50 hours, same with my wife, adding in her commute time. But we make the effort, we consider it fun. I will take down the Halloween lights and start right up with Christmas. If there were lights to celebrate Thanksgiving, we would probably do that too, we're fat asses, we love to eat. I swear to anybody who asks, I am not putting up the lights to rain on your parade. Maybe you're allergic to red, green, and blue light combos, I don't know. But since I'm paying my mortgage and not rattling a cup for your assistance, why don't you mind your own beeswax?
My son is getting crap in school, now in fourth grade, bratty kids barely mastered the art of wiping their asses, they know it all, they all tell my son, Santa is fake, he doesn't exist. My son wants to believe. I am surprised the older boy doesn't poop on him too, but we've always said, start talking crap that Santa doesn't exist and the gifts go bye-bye.
I feel sad for the households that never experienced Santa, never got to wake up early and come down and see what magically somehow, some way just poof, showed up. I've played Santa for others when I could, like I said, doesn't take much, kids need to know we care about them. You could say I am being materialistic, and sure, I am, but isn't that the kind of country we live in, 'merica! Fuck Yeah!! And some of you are thinking but Jesus.... yeah yeah yeah, died on the cross, miracle miracle, but so depressing. I grew up going to that midnight mass, and all that catholic business. If you're going to believe a miracle, I say choose Santa, travels a million miles in one night, nobody dies, everyone is happy, for the price of a cookie.
So here's to you Santa, we'll watch the Christmas movies, we'll eat the Christmas candy, hell, I'll go shopping Christmas Eve, if it means the possibility of hearing your sleigh bells ringing as you dash through our neighborhood. I know my kids have been good and you will deliver a bounty for them. Merry Christmas Y'all!!!!
Monday, December 22, 2014
12/23/14 What's In A Pet Name?
If done lovingly, can any moniker work for anyone? I rarely use birth names for my boys, wife or anyone I give two cents about. Usually, my older boy I call Boy and my younger son, usually Chub Chub. My wife gets Big Girl. From there, we can go a couple different directions, if I tell my boys do such and such and they do the opposite, I am quick with a "Donkey."
My mom, who has recently been visiting a lot (great since I don't feel guilty about not going to my hometown), hates when I use that word. I say it's just a word and when said lovingly "come here my chubby little donkey" (with plenty of honey and charm), any word can be disarmed. We go round and round for awhile, usually she'll let it go. I gotta give props to Adam Carolla, I spent years listening to him on Loveline then re-listening to almost ten years worth of nightly shows. Then the last about five years he's been doing a Podcast, great stuff, one of his stories, he mentions how his high school coach would line them up and if not up to speed, you would get on the "donkey squad". I always found that story hilarious, Adam, not above his stories, accepted the donkey title fair and square. I love that dude, modern day genius.
Old school dudes all seem to have pet names for each other, which I always found strange, but I guess just accepted it. They called my dad "Güera" (Spanish for blonde), puzzling since he's a standard shortish beaner from south Texas. His best friend "Pachanga" (Spanish for rowdy party), I could've bet you his liver gave out at some point (it did). My dad still smiles when anyone calls him Güera, my brother in law half-mockingly, calls him that, I think he feels cool when he hears it. I got Nuni (which is just junior in Spanish). I know my father-in-law is Kino, not sure what it means, not from his birth name though. My Sister-in-law calls my wife Kix, which I have never understood, she's got little legs, she ain't kicking no one, maybe when they were young, but we've been together since she was 14, I don't know.
I can't say my boy has cool nicknames like that for any of his friends, and we've had a mess of them float through. A couple got Knucklehead by me, by that was mostly short lived. A couple of the Girlies going through have gotten Princess and Butterfly and Short Stuff and Itty Bitty and those are fun and harmless although I do see idiots arguing over girls being called Princess. Like they should only be labeled Queen or Your Majesty? I don't really get it, but be glad she's pretty to be called a Princess, she could get little Ogre or worse. I don't own girls, happy for that, so I am not an expert.
People will always use pet names for the ones they care and love. I guess strangers use them too, though. How many times have you called the bad driver in front of you, Asshole!! or think of the slow lady in front of you at the checkout lane paying with a check "fucking grandma, you're slowing the world down". Be glad most people address you lovingly "Sweety Peety".
My mom, who has recently been visiting a lot (great since I don't feel guilty about not going to my hometown), hates when I use that word. I say it's just a word and when said lovingly "come here my chubby little donkey" (with plenty of honey and charm), any word can be disarmed. We go round and round for awhile, usually she'll let it go. I gotta give props to Adam Carolla, I spent years listening to him on Loveline then re-listening to almost ten years worth of nightly shows. Then the last about five years he's been doing a Podcast, great stuff, one of his stories, he mentions how his high school coach would line them up and if not up to speed, you would get on the "donkey squad". I always found that story hilarious, Adam, not above his stories, accepted the donkey title fair and square. I love that dude, modern day genius.
Old school dudes all seem to have pet names for each other, which I always found strange, but I guess just accepted it. They called my dad "Güera" (Spanish for blonde), puzzling since he's a standard shortish beaner from south Texas. His best friend "Pachanga" (Spanish for rowdy party), I could've bet you his liver gave out at some point (it did). My dad still smiles when anyone calls him Güera, my brother in law half-mockingly, calls him that, I think he feels cool when he hears it. I got Nuni (which is just junior in Spanish). I know my father-in-law is Kino, not sure what it means, not from his birth name though. My Sister-in-law calls my wife Kix, which I have never understood, she's got little legs, she ain't kicking no one, maybe when they were young, but we've been together since she was 14, I don't know.
I can't say my boy has cool nicknames like that for any of his friends, and we've had a mess of them float through. A couple got Knucklehead by me, by that was mostly short lived. A couple of the Girlies going through have gotten Princess and Butterfly and Short Stuff and Itty Bitty and those are fun and harmless although I do see idiots arguing over girls being called Princess. Like they should only be labeled Queen or Your Majesty? I don't really get it, but be glad she's pretty to be called a Princess, she could get little Ogre or worse. I don't own girls, happy for that, so I am not an expert.
People will always use pet names for the ones they care and love. I guess strangers use them too, though. How many times have you called the bad driver in front of you, Asshole!! or think of the slow lady in front of you at the checkout lane paying with a check "fucking grandma, you're slowing the world down". Be glad most people address you lovingly "Sweety Peety".
Sunday, December 21, 2014
12/22/14 I Can't Afford You Baby?
I am sorry, I could not afford you. I tried my hardest, willing to work 60-70 hour work weeks to keep you by my side. Alas your need for expensive accessories and my inability to say no made me do what I had to do. Turning my back on our relationship after what seemed like a blink of an eye. I guess what made the decision easier was that society deems us greedy when men try to keep more than one and I already have an older version of you at home. My dad said they're all the same, you can't tell once you're inside one of them. They all do the same. I guess.
I loved your stance, how your backside just lifted ever so slightly, maybe it's cause you were young, not fully broken in. I tried my hardest, putting my load on you every chance I got, still that backside never flinched. You were built to handle men, rough men, not these little city metrosexuals you're probably running around with, but hey, whatever. If they can afford to feed you, more power to them.
You're coloring too, from the moment I saw your brown skin, almost shining, almost like gold was just under the skin, oh baby, you shined in my eyes. Always will. Even looking my schlubbiest, once I got by your side, I knew other men looked at me with jealousy in their eyes. You always made me feel like the most powerful man, no matter where we went, in town, eating a burger, or out in the country, sneaking away on a quiet Sunday afternoon.
Born in the 90's, I thought maybe you'd be out of my reach initially, I'll wait and see what happens. I kept my eye on you, you had a clumsier look back then, but by 2008, you were starting to look like what Daddy likes. I waited until 2010, make sure all the bugs of youth were worked out, then I bit into that forbidden fruit my mom and everyone kept saying don't. You can't afford it, there'll be repercussions, I said fuck it, even If I can only ride you for a short while, I will enjoy myself like a kid in a candy store. I did.
The fact that you were 4x4 and leather inside with a sun roof just made you that much more beautiful in my eyes. There is nothing finer on the road than the Ford Super Duty trucks, love those things. Three things made me decide to divorce you from my life: the Boy wouldn't drive you and he needed a vehicle, diesel was too expensive to justify, and I already have an older truck, which is already paid for and moves my RV just fine. But some day, I will find you, you will be mine once again.
I loved your stance, how your backside just lifted ever so slightly, maybe it's cause you were young, not fully broken in. I tried my hardest, putting my load on you every chance I got, still that backside never flinched. You were built to handle men, rough men, not these little city metrosexuals you're probably running around with, but hey, whatever. If they can afford to feed you, more power to them.
You're coloring too, from the moment I saw your brown skin, almost shining, almost like gold was just under the skin, oh baby, you shined in my eyes. Always will. Even looking my schlubbiest, once I got by your side, I knew other men looked at me with jealousy in their eyes. You always made me feel like the most powerful man, no matter where we went, in town, eating a burger, or out in the country, sneaking away on a quiet Sunday afternoon.
Born in the 90's, I thought maybe you'd be out of my reach initially, I'll wait and see what happens. I kept my eye on you, you had a clumsier look back then, but by 2008, you were starting to look like what Daddy likes. I waited until 2010, make sure all the bugs of youth were worked out, then I bit into that forbidden fruit my mom and everyone kept saying don't. You can't afford it, there'll be repercussions, I said fuck it, even If I can only ride you for a short while, I will enjoy myself like a kid in a candy store. I did.
The fact that you were 4x4 and leather inside with a sun roof just made you that much more beautiful in my eyes. There is nothing finer on the road than the Ford Super Duty trucks, love those things. Three things made me decide to divorce you from my life: the Boy wouldn't drive you and he needed a vehicle, diesel was too expensive to justify, and I already have an older truck, which is already paid for and moves my RV just fine. But some day, I will find you, you will be mine once again.
12/21/14 You Want To Be A Man? #2
I tell my son, if the most important thing about you is responsibility at work, next in line is punctuality. Punctuality is what employers look at the easiest, most of your shitty jobs a 20-something is going to have require clocking in and clocking out. Why do you think they go through the process of timecards and a manual thing you punch? Because they don't trust your sorry ass.
Until you are older and have a profession, or work for yourself, you will be answering to "the Man." As I said in my first instruction, the man cares first about his business, then his tools of his trade, then maybe his employees. If he could legally lock you up with the tools to ensure you would be there in the morning, ready to go, he would do that, but alas, people have fought many a good fight to be treated humanely during business hours. Don't set the hands of time back by being a douchebag and making your boss monitor you because you can't read a watch or phone, nowadays.
I have worked around that by showing up an hour early for nearly 18 years. I come in around 5:30 to 6:00 when my shift should start at 7:00pm. By doing this, I show my supervisors I can interact with dayshift, get pass downs, and get caught up before I am left alone for the night. In return, I get to leave early, which works for me, as I prefer to get out and get home before morning rush hour starts.
I worked in a warehouse when I graduated. It was a hands on job and my presence was key. I was quickly entrusted with the keys to the place (because when you look in my eyes, you feel safe, and you know I care as much as one can possibly care), and within the first two weeks I was opening and locking up. I was young, dumb, and full of enthusiasm to impress and do a good job. I'd have all the warehouse doors open, the coffee going, forklift warmed up before the full crew showed up. It's willing to go farther than the next guy, what separates the leaders from the masses.
My father in law, in his seventies, still works part time at a college, and he too, likes showing up early to work. I hear that he is up at 5:00am and on his way to work before 6:00am. He was a factory foreman back in our hometown when we were growing up, and I hear he was diligent about his employees being on time, he loved yelling at the donkeys who couldn't get their shit together and be on time.
To be early at work, is to be on time. To show up on time, is to cut it too close. My take is work is what allows you to buy your toys, be it toys or fast cars, treat it as the most important thing you do. Your work is your contribution to society, be an obedient cog in the wheel of this mighty industrialized society. If we all do our part, we'll keep all the other countries jelly*, as my boy says of the boundless opportunities we have.
*jelly- to be jealous. Word of the day.
Until you are older and have a profession, or work for yourself, you will be answering to "the Man." As I said in my first instruction, the man cares first about his business, then his tools of his trade, then maybe his employees. If he could legally lock you up with the tools to ensure you would be there in the morning, ready to go, he would do that, but alas, people have fought many a good fight to be treated humanely during business hours. Don't set the hands of time back by being a douchebag and making your boss monitor you because you can't read a watch or phone, nowadays.
I have worked around that by showing up an hour early for nearly 18 years. I come in around 5:30 to 6:00 when my shift should start at 7:00pm. By doing this, I show my supervisors I can interact with dayshift, get pass downs, and get caught up before I am left alone for the night. In return, I get to leave early, which works for me, as I prefer to get out and get home before morning rush hour starts.
I worked in a warehouse when I graduated. It was a hands on job and my presence was key. I was quickly entrusted with the keys to the place (because when you look in my eyes, you feel safe, and you know I care as much as one can possibly care), and within the first two weeks I was opening and locking up. I was young, dumb, and full of enthusiasm to impress and do a good job. I'd have all the warehouse doors open, the coffee going, forklift warmed up before the full crew showed up. It's willing to go farther than the next guy, what separates the leaders from the masses.
My father in law, in his seventies, still works part time at a college, and he too, likes showing up early to work. I hear that he is up at 5:00am and on his way to work before 6:00am. He was a factory foreman back in our hometown when we were growing up, and I hear he was diligent about his employees being on time, he loved yelling at the donkeys who couldn't get their shit together and be on time.
To be early at work, is to be on time. To show up on time, is to cut it too close. My take is work is what allows you to buy your toys, be it toys or fast cars, treat it as the most important thing you do. Your work is your contribution to society, be an obedient cog in the wheel of this mighty industrialized society. If we all do our part, we'll keep all the other countries jelly*, as my boy says of the boundless opportunities we have.
*jelly- to be jealous. Word of the day.
Friday, December 19, 2014
12/20/14 You're Pretty, Can You Debate Though?
I love my Mom and all the women in my life. She has always generically said I like surrounding myself with women who just say yes to me. I always find this insulting, I like to think I find the worthiest of adversaries and then convince them with my clever retorts. There is nothing I love more (other than boobs of course) than to take a point and argue, debate, dissect, analyze, whatever to death. I like to be taken to the other side and proven wrong, it happens occasionally, but not often enough. There are too many distractions day to day to really do this to my satisfaction. Best time is on a long road trip, captive audience, nowhere to go, my poor wife.
My wife plays the role perfectly, she counters anything I have to say, she might agree with me, but usually she'll come up with something marginally related to keep me on my feet. Same thing at work, I used to avoid most people, quite easy when working nights. I used to think some of the personnel were overbearing do gooders, but upon getting to know them (shifts have changed, no choice), these are great people. Now that we understand each other, they will argue with me, put me in my place, realize that I am a god amongst men, and generally let me be me. I used to think the best place to work was when I started here, surrounded by dudes, going to strip clubs a couple times a month after destroying cow meat at fancy restaurants. Maybe, I've gotten older, but there is no better environment to work than coming in to fresh coffee, a nice piece of cake waiting for me, catching up on a little gossip of action during the day, and work all laid out to keep me busy for twelve hours.
Guys don't really debate. We are all sure we are right and thus very inflexible in thought. That type of thinking is not really fun. I mean you can play with a simpleton, spin him on his own logic, but that usually just pisses people off. My dad for example, has told me a couple times "I believe in Jesus Christ and that is all I'm saying about that." Hmm, how can you break that defense? Alright Dad, how about them Horns?
My Mom, on the other hand, encouraged us to question everything growing up. I felt like Forest Gump (again) hitting ping pong balls to my mom being the wall returning with equal volley. It was great. Nowadays, she's more like a wall of curtains, if I try to engage in anything edgy, either the grandkids distract her, her phone just died, she's lost in FB, she's on her way or at the store. I am not sure if it is a matter of getting older, not wanting to broach certain topics, or maybe a little senility (heh heh sorry Mom).
In conclusion, no, people don't just agree with me. If they don't, I will wear them down until they see my side of things. My belief is that I am here to learn from you and you are in my presence to learn from me. So, let's see what you got.
My wife plays the role perfectly, she counters anything I have to say, she might agree with me, but usually she'll come up with something marginally related to keep me on my feet. Same thing at work, I used to avoid most people, quite easy when working nights. I used to think some of the personnel were overbearing do gooders, but upon getting to know them (shifts have changed, no choice), these are great people. Now that we understand each other, they will argue with me, put me in my place, realize that I am a god amongst men, and generally let me be me. I used to think the best place to work was when I started here, surrounded by dudes, going to strip clubs a couple times a month after destroying cow meat at fancy restaurants. Maybe, I've gotten older, but there is no better environment to work than coming in to fresh coffee, a nice piece of cake waiting for me, catching up on a little gossip of action during the day, and work all laid out to keep me busy for twelve hours.
Guys don't really debate. We are all sure we are right and thus very inflexible in thought. That type of thinking is not really fun. I mean you can play with a simpleton, spin him on his own logic, but that usually just pisses people off. My dad for example, has told me a couple times "I believe in Jesus Christ and that is all I'm saying about that." Hmm, how can you break that defense? Alright Dad, how about them Horns?
My Mom, on the other hand, encouraged us to question everything growing up. I felt like Forest Gump (again) hitting ping pong balls to my mom being the wall returning with equal volley. It was great. Nowadays, she's more like a wall of curtains, if I try to engage in anything edgy, either the grandkids distract her, her phone just died, she's lost in FB, she's on her way or at the store. I am not sure if it is a matter of getting older, not wanting to broach certain topics, or maybe a little senility (heh heh sorry Mom).
In conclusion, no, people don't just agree with me. If they don't, I will wear them down until they see my side of things. My belief is that I am here to learn from you and you are in my presence to learn from me. So, let's see what you got.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
12/19/14 Does Doing The Right Thing For The Wrong Reason Count?
A coworker brought up an idea the other day. This guy has moments of clarity and brilliance, but he can also be a huge pain in the ass, anyway. He postulated that everything we do, we do in the guise of doing good deeds for others, but in reality, we are too selfish for this, and the truth is, we only do things for our own individual benefit. I love this idea. This means that if you give to the needy to "help", you are really doing it for some internal reason, maybe guilt, and donating will make you feel better. I have never been a fan of charity, I believe people live the lives they choose, so when things get shitty, you kinda brought it upon yourself. I know there's a million examples where the situation is out of the person's control blah blah blah.
Recently, there have been studies on panhandlers, seems some of them are faking it, gasp!!! I remember a report from back in the 90s, where they were asking some of the homeless people around UT, and some were pulling in upwards of $50000. Some of the YouTube videos I've seen have guys saying they can make up to $100000. Fuck!, some of y'all are suckers. But I guess if you give a dollar or two, you think you're helping someone, maybe you are. Guilt assuaged and alcohol consumed. Win-win, awesome blossom.
Maybe you give to your church. Well, god is impressed, ooh, maybe you'll get to eat with JC up in the big house. That's a good reason to give, plus the church can always use more gold rooves, seriously are they gold when they show the Vatican on TV or just gold coloring? At least the churches feed the poor.
My wife donates here and there, I figure I won't complain too much, it is our money, so maybe I get some good joo-joo via her. It's one thing to not be a fan of donating, it's quite another to say "AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, IF I FIND YOU DONATING SO MUCH AS A DOLLAR, YOUR BEHIND WILL TASTE THE ROUGH SIDE OF MY BELT WOMAN!!!" Eh, I've had my own cases where I help financially, and although I won't say it was for my gain, I am sure my Neanderthal brain within was still hoping I'd at least manage a handy. Just kidding, Jedi don't require handies, we just meditate ommmmmmmmmm.
I guess my coworker did have a good point, I did agree with him though. Now that I convinced you all, send your charities to me, I too want gold domed rooves on my house.
Recently, there have been studies on panhandlers, seems some of them are faking it, gasp!!! I remember a report from back in the 90s, where they were asking some of the homeless people around UT, and some were pulling in upwards of $50000. Some of the YouTube videos I've seen have guys saying they can make up to $100000. Fuck!, some of y'all are suckers. But I guess if you give a dollar or two, you think you're helping someone, maybe you are. Guilt assuaged and alcohol consumed. Win-win, awesome blossom.
Maybe you give to your church. Well, god is impressed, ooh, maybe you'll get to eat with JC up in the big house. That's a good reason to give, plus the church can always use more gold rooves, seriously are they gold when they show the Vatican on TV or just gold coloring? At least the churches feed the poor.
My wife donates here and there, I figure I won't complain too much, it is our money, so maybe I get some good joo-joo via her. It's one thing to not be a fan of donating, it's quite another to say "AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, IF I FIND YOU DONATING SO MUCH AS A DOLLAR, YOUR BEHIND WILL TASTE THE ROUGH SIDE OF MY BELT WOMAN!!!" Eh, I've had my own cases where I help financially, and although I won't say it was for my gain, I am sure my Neanderthal brain within was still hoping I'd at least manage a handy. Just kidding, Jedi don't require handies, we just meditate ommmmmmmmmm.
I guess my coworker did have a good point, I did agree with him though. Now that I convinced you all, send your charities to me, I too want gold domed rooves on my house.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
12/18/14 May I Put You In My Mouth? (poem)
I've been thinking about you for some time
I remember our last crime together was sublime
I swore to stay away from your young and tender frame
who we kidding, I come upon you, you're in my brain.
God himself must have put you together
Mixed of this and that, fucking mine forever
God himself must have put you together
Mixed of this and that, fucking mine forever
Skin so perfect, golden brown
My only wish is that you not frown,
Your succulent breasts I will devour
My fists, my hands, you will feel the power.
But that is only a beginning for me
On to more, I'll explore all of thee
I have to taste you, I lick my fingers
you intoxicate me, your smell just lingers.
Call me Chris Columbus, I am exploring
your thick plump legs, I am adoring.
those thighs full of that dark meat I have been seeking
you're in my mouth, of you, I'm reeking.
My lust satiated, my heart content
I'll clean up my mess for I am a gent,
whether you come in a bucket or a box
your secret spices always knock off my socks.
Usually, with some fries and a large iced tea
I eat and drink until I have to pee.
I order one more #3 combo with a biscuit
make it two, my hunger, I can't risk it.
I order one more #3 combo with a biscuit
make it two, my hunger, I can't risk it.
Don't blame me if you had nasty thoughts
It is quite normal unless your brain just sits there and rots.
So to all you dirty thinking peeps, to you I tip my hat
and as Forrest Gump said "that is all I have to say about that."
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
12/17/14 What Happens When Robin Doesn't Follow Batman?
I ran into an old friend of mine from back home this weekend. It was a little surprising and weird, hadn't seen him in about 10-12 years. He had a couple kids and everything. Turns out we live about 4 miles apart, we'll see if we end up hanging out.
He got me thinking about all the people we grow up labeling "best friend". That term really doesn't mean jack squat. We rotate the term to whoever is currently spending the night at our houses in elementary school, to whoever drives us around in high school, whoever will drink or go to the nudie bars with us in college, and whoever becomes our neighbors as grown ups.
My first good friend moved out of town, right before junior high, then my high school friends weren't interested in college, so they slowly disappeared, when I transitioned to Austin, one friend remained from back home, he was to be my roommate, and another one was close by, going to Tx. State (the guy I just ran into). A couple other guys I met in the junior college, were also coming to UT and they became my roommates, although I didn't initially know them very well. Well, as it worked out, one of the new guys became my closest friend through the UT years. Roommate from back home was not really into discovering new and interesting things. To know someone is to live with them, you think you like playing with your nutsack, until you see another guy who will not let them go, even while just watching regular TV, ah, life with male roommates.
Those years were great and my roommate was always ready to go check something new, even if we didn't have money. Looked into joining frats, went to some football games, of course 6th Street, always necessary, at that age, house parties, and everything in between. It was a great three year run, but all good things come to an end. Graduation arrived, he went back to his hometown, my wife came up to Austin, and we pretty much settled into the life I've been living.
We met our old neighbors and things were great for a few years, bought a boat, they'd join us all the time, then an RV, more fun times, but I guess eventually things get old. They divorced, we kind of lost touch, we still keep in contact, but it's not the same.
Each phase of my life has had great people that were perfect for that time, I'm not sure it even works if like a mad scientist, you moved the friend from elementary school in as my neighbor now, or my neighbors, would we could we have been friends in high school?
Reminds me of a quote I read recently: Nothing Ever Goes Away Until It Teaches Us What We Need To Know. The people in our lives are supposed to be there, we learn from them, both good and bad things, we need to be well rounded to become human and school is not enough to teach us everything.
In conclusion, I have been Robin more than my fair share, but by observing all my childhood heroes and learning from them, I believe I have very gradually become the Batman.
He got me thinking about all the people we grow up labeling "best friend". That term really doesn't mean jack squat. We rotate the term to whoever is currently spending the night at our houses in elementary school, to whoever drives us around in high school, whoever will drink or go to the nudie bars with us in college, and whoever becomes our neighbors as grown ups.
My first good friend moved out of town, right before junior high, then my high school friends weren't interested in college, so they slowly disappeared, when I transitioned to Austin, one friend remained from back home, he was to be my roommate, and another one was close by, going to Tx. State (the guy I just ran into). A couple other guys I met in the junior college, were also coming to UT and they became my roommates, although I didn't initially know them very well. Well, as it worked out, one of the new guys became my closest friend through the UT years. Roommate from back home was not really into discovering new and interesting things. To know someone is to live with them, you think you like playing with your nutsack, until you see another guy who will not let them go, even while just watching regular TV, ah, life with male roommates.
Those years were great and my roommate was always ready to go check something new, even if we didn't have money. Looked into joining frats, went to some football games, of course 6th Street, always necessary, at that age, house parties, and everything in between. It was a great three year run, but all good things come to an end. Graduation arrived, he went back to his hometown, my wife came up to Austin, and we pretty much settled into the life I've been living.
We met our old neighbors and things were great for a few years, bought a boat, they'd join us all the time, then an RV, more fun times, but I guess eventually things get old. They divorced, we kind of lost touch, we still keep in contact, but it's not the same.
Each phase of my life has had great people that were perfect for that time, I'm not sure it even works if like a mad scientist, you moved the friend from elementary school in as my neighbor now, or my neighbors, would we could we have been friends in high school?
Reminds me of a quote I read recently: Nothing Ever Goes Away Until It Teaches Us What We Need To Know. The people in our lives are supposed to be there, we learn from them, both good and bad things, we need to be well rounded to become human and school is not enough to teach us everything.
In conclusion, I have been Robin more than my fair share, but by observing all my childhood heroes and learning from them, I believe I have very gradually become the Batman.
Monday, December 15, 2014
12/16/14 Where Are You John Connor?
You tell me.
We were in the middle of building a new house, this after deciding it would be best to make some profits from the ridiculous real estate market in Austin. We sold our house, had everything in storage, and awaited final preparations on what would be our forever home. I insisted on an in ground pool, because I don't learn and I love pouring infinite amounts of money on things we once 2-3 times a year.
We didn't expect it but while digging for that extra depth, I insisted on my pool being 13 feet deep, cause I'm different, well we dug into a cavern. The backhoe almost fell in, hole was discovered to be quite massive and went under our almost completed home. So now we were left with a bill for a pool that wouldn't be completed, a house that wouldn't be inhabitable, and to top it off, a couple of Terminators came out of the hole. I hate it when that happens.
Before I knew it, the male Terminator had me by my fat gut and was squeezing me, while I believe it was a female, possibly a tranny Terminator was fighting for my honor. It too was in poor shape, beer gut, small titties, ratty hair, limping. But hey, it was fighting for me, so "Me love you long time if you keep me alive" I yelled.
This was a mess, I could see the dollar bills adding up, house incomplete, sidewalk about to be poured, water main all exposed. Who pays for all this crap when something from the future shows up to ruin your day? It's a good thing the kids were at school, it was not my finest hour. I remembered how they killed those nasty robots, so upon freeing myself, I did what I could, I started a fire and started throwing charcoal briquettes at the bad robot. It's not like I got an industrial metal kiln laying around.
Then I woke up. Good thing too, it was a mess of a dream. That's the punishment for eating too much meat, talking to a friend who is building a house, going on Pinterest looking at pretty cave images and maybe looking at weird porn just before falling asleep.
Hate that though, waking up all sweaty from fighting in a dream, all out of breath, wrapped in your own sheet, open your eyes and you don't want to move because the thing might find you in the dark. My dreams suck sometimes.
We were in the middle of building a new house, this after deciding it would be best to make some profits from the ridiculous real estate market in Austin. We sold our house, had everything in storage, and awaited final preparations on what would be our forever home. I insisted on an in ground pool, because I don't learn and I love pouring infinite amounts of money on things we once 2-3 times a year.
We didn't expect it but while digging for that extra depth, I insisted on my pool being 13 feet deep, cause I'm different, well we dug into a cavern. The backhoe almost fell in, hole was discovered to be quite massive and went under our almost completed home. So now we were left with a bill for a pool that wouldn't be completed, a house that wouldn't be inhabitable, and to top it off, a couple of Terminators came out of the hole. I hate it when that happens.
Before I knew it, the male Terminator had me by my fat gut and was squeezing me, while I believe it was a female, possibly a tranny Terminator was fighting for my honor. It too was in poor shape, beer gut, small titties, ratty hair, limping. But hey, it was fighting for me, so "Me love you long time if you keep me alive" I yelled.
This was a mess, I could see the dollar bills adding up, house incomplete, sidewalk about to be poured, water main all exposed. Who pays for all this crap when something from the future shows up to ruin your day? It's a good thing the kids were at school, it was not my finest hour. I remembered how they killed those nasty robots, so upon freeing myself, I did what I could, I started a fire and started throwing charcoal briquettes at the bad robot. It's not like I got an industrial metal kiln laying around.
Then I woke up. Good thing too, it was a mess of a dream. That's the punishment for eating too much meat, talking to a friend who is building a house, going on Pinterest looking at pretty cave images and maybe looking at weird porn just before falling asleep.
Hate that though, waking up all sweaty from fighting in a dream, all out of breath, wrapped in your own sheet, open your eyes and you don't want to move because the thing might find you in the dark. My dreams suck sometimes.
12/15/14 What Is Your Family Role?
We had my family visit this week, it was a very fun weekend. We stayed up until 3-4am Friday night and we ran around all day Saturday doing as much as we could do to fill up a Saturday. They all live next door to each other in a small south Texas town about three hours away so family dynamic is hard to change. We are mostly all married with our own families, except for my younger brother, who had lived with us recently until he left to make his fortunes in the oil fields down there.
My mom was always the head of the household growing up with my dad being a truck driver and thus was not home as much as we would have liked. She relied on me, the oldest son, to help as much as possible, she being a teacher and earning a Master's Degree to become a counselor right as I entered high school. My next sibling, always the talker and master negotiator to get out of doing chores, has found the perfect profession for him. He is an attorney, and by all accounts a good one. My sister, who was always Mama's Little Girl, has followed in her footsteps, becoming a teacher first and now an assistant vice principal. My other brother who did not come up this weekend, is now working as a safety inspector out in the oil fields with my sister's husband.
The interesting thing to me is how things don't seem to change. My sister, having developed a tough outer shell and become a disciplinarian, still wants Mama around every step of the way, my brother and I still make jokes that she needs her food cut for her by mommy and/or she's fussy cause mama hasn't burped her. My brother still likes to keep the entertainment going by running his mouth and cracking wise about any and everything he notices.
I didn't necessarily see it like my brother, but we went to Jumpoline (a cool place for kids with wall to wall trampolines), and although we paid for an hour, my sister wanted to head to the mall, of course my mom had to get going following her, leaving about fifteen minutes of fun time on our paid wristbands. It's not like I can jump and my older boy is too cool to do it, my younger boy was soaked with sweat and he was about done, so I had no problem leaving. My brother was a little bothered because his daughter wanted to stay longer, but once everyone starts leaving, well, party's over.
We all met up at mall by Santa, my parents wanted to take a picture with all their grandkids, but my mom thought line would take too long. Mr. Attorney talked us all into getting in line. It didn't take very long, my older son and I ran to Sears to look at some stuff he needs to redecorate his room, so I still found a way to be productive, and as soon as we finished the Santa picture, we were on our way to our dinner reservations across town.
Dinner was predetermined, I introduced them to the Estancia Churrascaria a few years ago, and now it's only place they want to eat as a family. It is more than dinner, it is an experience. Forget the sides (they do have a salad bar which comes with meal), this place is all about the meat. Gauchos bring you 14 different cuts of meat from beef, pork, chicken, and lamb. The meat keeps coming til you say "no mas". You will surely go home in a meat coma, if that is your goal.
Afterwards, the ladies still managed to go do a little late night shopping, all us men folk, stayed home, rubbing our bellies swearing not to eat like that again.
They left early, as they always do, but I enjoyed myself. This is the reason I have my large house, so we can all get together under one roof occasionally. Hopefully, they'll be back soon, my mom makes a big deal about bothering us when they come over, but really, what else are we doing?
My mom was always the head of the household growing up with my dad being a truck driver and thus was not home as much as we would have liked. She relied on me, the oldest son, to help as much as possible, she being a teacher and earning a Master's Degree to become a counselor right as I entered high school. My next sibling, always the talker and master negotiator to get out of doing chores, has found the perfect profession for him. He is an attorney, and by all accounts a good one. My sister, who was always Mama's Little Girl, has followed in her footsteps, becoming a teacher first and now an assistant vice principal. My other brother who did not come up this weekend, is now working as a safety inspector out in the oil fields with my sister's husband.
The interesting thing to me is how things don't seem to change. My sister, having developed a tough outer shell and become a disciplinarian, still wants Mama around every step of the way, my brother and I still make jokes that she needs her food cut for her by mommy and/or she's fussy cause mama hasn't burped her. My brother still likes to keep the entertainment going by running his mouth and cracking wise about any and everything he notices.
I didn't necessarily see it like my brother, but we went to Jumpoline (a cool place for kids with wall to wall trampolines), and although we paid for an hour, my sister wanted to head to the mall, of course my mom had to get going following her, leaving about fifteen minutes of fun time on our paid wristbands. It's not like I can jump and my older boy is too cool to do it, my younger boy was soaked with sweat and he was about done, so I had no problem leaving. My brother was a little bothered because his daughter wanted to stay longer, but once everyone starts leaving, well, party's over.
We all met up at mall by Santa, my parents wanted to take a picture with all their grandkids, but my mom thought line would take too long. Mr. Attorney talked us all into getting in line. It didn't take very long, my older son and I ran to Sears to look at some stuff he needs to redecorate his room, so I still found a way to be productive, and as soon as we finished the Santa picture, we were on our way to our dinner reservations across town.
Dinner was predetermined, I introduced them to the Estancia Churrascaria a few years ago, and now it's only place they want to eat as a family. It is more than dinner, it is an experience. Forget the sides (they do have a salad bar which comes with meal), this place is all about the meat. Gauchos bring you 14 different cuts of meat from beef, pork, chicken, and lamb. The meat keeps coming til you say "no mas". You will surely go home in a meat coma, if that is your goal.
Afterwards, the ladies still managed to go do a little late night shopping, all us men folk, stayed home, rubbing our bellies swearing not to eat like that again.
They left early, as they always do, but I enjoyed myself. This is the reason I have my large house, so we can all get together under one roof occasionally. Hopefully, they'll be back soon, my mom makes a big deal about bothering us when they come over, but really, what else are we doing?
Sunday, December 14, 2014
12/14/14 We Save Our Best Face For Strangers?
I had a discussion with my wife tonight. It concerned a friend we've known about 18 years. This person is a decent person, there were times we were inseparable, then of course we moved and that always affects friendships. Regardless, she has a habit of contacting my wife via text, acts interested "how's it going?" "what have you all been up to?" "where'd you get that purse?", then once my wife is reeled in, really starts putting energy into communicating, the other person losses interest, WTF!?!? Usually, a couple days later, she'll respond, Oh, I'm sorry, I fell asleep. My wife says coworkers do this to her too. I don't have the problem too much, because I usually pipe up with a "Hey, if you're gonna text me, be a freaking human and say TTYL if we are done." And other things to facilitate smoother transactions. but my mom will do this too, "oh, sorry, I was at the store, or oh, your brother called..." What can you say to Mama, "Okay..."
Her niece, who has pretty much grown up with us, has had a big 50inch TV by our front door, it's a big projector type, so it's a huge box, she doesn't have a truck is her #1 excuse, but she also doesn't seem in a hurry to get it either, except it bothers my wife because it takes up so much space. It doesn't bother me so much, but I don't want it there indefinitely either.
I guess once you break through the barriers of formality and start calling yourselves friends, you become part of the background noise. The person knows they have your attention and they don't have to impress you to keep you around. I don't know that this is great but I certainly try to give people my attention when they seek me out. Although...
When I first started texting I was a little guilty of it too, a couple times the wife and I would be in the middle of sexy time and my phone would ring. My wife would glare at me and give me a "don't!" I couldn't control myself, I'd roll off and reach for it like I was falling on a grenade. My wife was never impressed with my consideration for others during these times. But again, another example of putting on our best face for others.
My argument with my coworker of a couple days ago, I was not done the next day explaining my position to her about who is a good parent and her statement was why not just let it go? I said no, we are past the generic formalities, I never cared about hello and how's the weather? I want to have real conversations with you, so you need to understand where I am coming from and for that, we must track through some mud, disagree, but come out the other side still friends. I love this friend, she brings me cookies and, when I'm lucky, homemade german chocolate cake.
I guess it should be worn as a badge of honor to be treated a little second rate, although that seems strange. Next time while introducing yourself to someone new, think about the formal "nice to meet you" and the big cheesy fake smile, compared to family who you don't even hesitate with a "look at my boil on my back, will you pop it for me." It is with those we love who we drop our pretentions and thus "keep it real".
Her niece, who has pretty much grown up with us, has had a big 50inch TV by our front door, it's a big projector type, so it's a huge box, she doesn't have a truck is her #1 excuse, but she also doesn't seem in a hurry to get it either, except it bothers my wife because it takes up so much space. It doesn't bother me so much, but I don't want it there indefinitely either.
I guess once you break through the barriers of formality and start calling yourselves friends, you become part of the background noise. The person knows they have your attention and they don't have to impress you to keep you around. I don't know that this is great but I certainly try to give people my attention when they seek me out. Although...
When I first started texting I was a little guilty of it too, a couple times the wife and I would be in the middle of sexy time and my phone would ring. My wife would glare at me and give me a "don't!" I couldn't control myself, I'd roll off and reach for it like I was falling on a grenade. My wife was never impressed with my consideration for others during these times. But again, another example of putting on our best face for others.
My argument with my coworker of a couple days ago, I was not done the next day explaining my position to her about who is a good parent and her statement was why not just let it go? I said no, we are past the generic formalities, I never cared about hello and how's the weather? I want to have real conversations with you, so you need to understand where I am coming from and for that, we must track through some mud, disagree, but come out the other side still friends. I love this friend, she brings me cookies and, when I'm lucky, homemade german chocolate cake.
I guess it should be worn as a badge of honor to be treated a little second rate, although that seems strange. Next time while introducing yourself to someone new, think about the formal "nice to meet you" and the big cheesy fake smile, compared to family who you don't even hesitate with a "look at my boil on my back, will you pop it for me." It is with those we love who we drop our pretentions and thus "keep it real".
Saturday, December 13, 2014
12/13/14 I'm a Good Parent, Really?
This comes from a heated argument I was having with a coworker who I had never argued with before. My point was that my son's little girlfriend was gonna get a dose of shit from Mama and Daddy because she spun out saying he was a bad person who was using his ex-girlfriend. I took this personally because above everything I don't want to bring pain or discomfort to anyone for no reason, and that extends to the boys I am raising. I have always told him "don't waste a girl's time, if you are not interested, let her be so she can go find what she is looking for."
My coworker said that the two things are unrelated, You can be the best parents and your kid still turn out badly. I could and cannot wrap my head around that thought. To me, I can't call myself a good parent if my kids are out there raising hell, breaking into other people's property, or doing drugs. There was a point when my older son was in eighth grade and we were going to my folks, like a three hour drive. Texting had just taken off and my boy was big time distracted. I think I was offering to stop at a gas station and was asking him stuff, he was as rude as he has ever been with me, maybe there had been a new boy or two coming around and he thought talking like a smart ass to me would be a good idea. Plus I had been feeling like I was losing my sway over him. I spazzed out, and nobody spazzes better than me, I hit the brakes, car slid sideways into parking lot, I jumped out of the car, took his phone from his hand and smashed it on the ground. I remember him yelling nooooo, on his knees trying to gather the pieces. I yelled at him for five or ten minutes about how "I don't give a shit how bad ass you think you are and your new piece of shit friends, I fucking make the air you breath and I make the sun come up for you, you will not become some piece of shit nothing that does whatever you think you want to do. Anything you have and anything you are is because of me, you had better square up and march in step boy." I love my boy, nobody is ever going to influence him in a way I don't agree with.
He stopped hanging with those kids, and his behavior came back to normal. I probably got him a new phone within the month, reminding him I don't have a problem busting that one as well. Some would call this passion, some would call it child abuse, I didn't hit him, just yelled, but I believe it made a difference. It was a point in his life when he could've turned on us, I felt.
It has been a long time since I have had to be dramatic with him, I think we are past the worst of the teen years until our second boy starts up. First son was skinny and lightweight, if I had to I could control him with one arm, my second boy is a hunk of ham. He will probably be taller than me by junior high, just thick and built like a fridge, it's gonna be interesting if he ends up wanting to "wrassle".
I don't know, I'll keep trying to stay on top of their behavior, maybe someday I'll believe that coffee mug, it says "I'm the World's Greatest Dad".
My coworker said that the two things are unrelated, You can be the best parents and your kid still turn out badly. I could and cannot wrap my head around that thought. To me, I can't call myself a good parent if my kids are out there raising hell, breaking into other people's property, or doing drugs. There was a point when my older son was in eighth grade and we were going to my folks, like a three hour drive. Texting had just taken off and my boy was big time distracted. I think I was offering to stop at a gas station and was asking him stuff, he was as rude as he has ever been with me, maybe there had been a new boy or two coming around and he thought talking like a smart ass to me would be a good idea. Plus I had been feeling like I was losing my sway over him. I spazzed out, and nobody spazzes better than me, I hit the brakes, car slid sideways into parking lot, I jumped out of the car, took his phone from his hand and smashed it on the ground. I remember him yelling nooooo, on his knees trying to gather the pieces. I yelled at him for five or ten minutes about how "I don't give a shit how bad ass you think you are and your new piece of shit friends, I fucking make the air you breath and I make the sun come up for you, you will not become some piece of shit nothing that does whatever you think you want to do. Anything you have and anything you are is because of me, you had better square up and march in step boy." I love my boy, nobody is ever going to influence him in a way I don't agree with.
He stopped hanging with those kids, and his behavior came back to normal. I probably got him a new phone within the month, reminding him I don't have a problem busting that one as well. Some would call this passion, some would call it child abuse, I didn't hit him, just yelled, but I believe it made a difference. It was a point in his life when he could've turned on us, I felt.
It has been a long time since I have had to be dramatic with him, I think we are past the worst of the teen years until our second boy starts up. First son was skinny and lightweight, if I had to I could control him with one arm, my second boy is a hunk of ham. He will probably be taller than me by junior high, just thick and built like a fridge, it's gonna be interesting if he ends up wanting to "wrassle".
I don't know, I'll keep trying to stay on top of their behavior, maybe someday I'll believe that coffee mug, it says "I'm the World's Greatest Dad".
Friday, December 12, 2014
12/12/14 If I'm Santa, Will You Be My HoHoHo? (poem)
I really love the Christmas holidays truth be told
I always have since I was about two and a half years old.
But I have come to realize a new dilemma
Sit back listen and behold.
Santa's a pervert, I wish I was him
Who else gets to do what he does and with such vim?*
Try sitting at the mall, preferably by Victoria's Secret
and call out Ho Ho Ho and see if you don't get a ticket.
He is judge, jury, and executioner to the masses
if he likes you, rich rewards abound, if not watch your sorry asses.
His hobby in the fall apparently is to watch you when you're sleeping
seems to me the old codger is excusing some serious peeping.
All in good sport he'll say for his list to determine
Are you naughty or nice, he is very discerning.
One night a year he gets to go through your house
and no one better be stirring don't bother Mr. Claus.
Sure he'll leave toys and maybe even some extras
For example, has he ever left your spouse a nice see through blouse?
And don't forget that whole business of sitting on his lap to tell him what you want
I once tried this with my neighbor's college daughter and got smacked around by her aunt.
But he's got a sack full of bounty and a big candy cane,
We'll see who's shaking like a bowl full of jelly as he asserts again Ho again!
We'll see who's shaking like a bowl full of jelly as he asserts again Ho again!
Just leave a door open at night he'll come eat your cookie
Merry Christmas to all but beware, I know that fat man, he is always looking for nookie.
*vim-enthusiasm, definition of the day
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
12/11/14 Whatcha Bench, Man?
I lift weights, not like I used to in college, but I occasionally get into weeks with one of my coworkers where we start making good progress. I got into weights when I came to UT, back in 1991. I had two roommates and one had tried to walk on with the Longhorns, so he had a bit of a chip on his shoulder he wasn't playing. When I started, it was rough, I had started losing weight my second year in junior college playing basketball every free second I had, and starving myself. At the time, I lost about 100 pounds and now I needed to tone up. I got so much crap from both roommates, if you're big, you're supposed to be strong. "What the fuck, come on you big pussy, how can you not even lift one plate" (each "plate" is 45 pounds times two and bar weighs 45 pounds also, so minimum, a healthy male "should" be able to lift 135 pounds, per my roommates. Every day, it was this type of encouragement, but soon I was acceptable and the strength felt good. I was no longer a "puss", this came in handy several times, girls always need help moving and I had a truck. My wife today would say they were using me, but I usually got a home cooked meal and they were my friends at the time, it's the neighborly thing to do.
I kept lifting weights and have owned a bench and home weights ever since so I don't use the excuse that I don't have access to them. With a good paying job and access to eating wherever I want, the pounds have come back, I really should start playing basketball, but there just aren't enough hours in the day. College students don't realize how awesome it is to be them, that time does not last long enough.
When I do stop lifting for weeks, I notice those nagging little pains creeping in, I don't sleep well, my lower back will hurt, my shoulders will be stiff, my neck will be in a constant sore state. The only reason I stop is laziness, we have a decent gym at work, and I have a coworker willing to spot me as he also enjoys working out and we are at a close enough physique. So do we just continue lifting? Two years ago, I was right at that point of benching 300 pounds, but then my partner hurt his shoulder and we stopped for six months or so, he tore something, but didn't see a doctor. We're back at it, most weeks, but he is more cautious than before.
What propels us to continue, I think for me, it's that nagging little voice of don't be a "puss", I don't really move furniture these days, but I would like to think that if called upon my back would hold up, although I'm not so sure I can squat myself out of my wife's evil eye. Nevertheless, it is a manly task and simply doing it once in a while allows me to keep my ego boosted.
I kept lifting weights and have owned a bench and home weights ever since so I don't use the excuse that I don't have access to them. With a good paying job and access to eating wherever I want, the pounds have come back, I really should start playing basketball, but there just aren't enough hours in the day. College students don't realize how awesome it is to be them, that time does not last long enough.
When I do stop lifting for weeks, I notice those nagging little pains creeping in, I don't sleep well, my lower back will hurt, my shoulders will be stiff, my neck will be in a constant sore state. The only reason I stop is laziness, we have a decent gym at work, and I have a coworker willing to spot me as he also enjoys working out and we are at a close enough physique. So do we just continue lifting? Two years ago, I was right at that point of benching 300 pounds, but then my partner hurt his shoulder and we stopped for six months or so, he tore something, but didn't see a doctor. We're back at it, most weeks, but he is more cautious than before.
What propels us to continue, I think for me, it's that nagging little voice of don't be a "puss", I don't really move furniture these days, but I would like to think that if called upon my back would hold up, although I'm not so sure I can squat myself out of my wife's evil eye. Nevertheless, it is a manly task and simply doing it once in a while allows me to keep my ego boosted.
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
12/10/14 I Can Save The World?
I live in Austin, the genius hippies came up with the idea to save the environment by giving up plastic bags at the store. This was an awesome idea, the only ones who have benefited is the stores who sell you sturdier bags for a fee now. I believe at HEB they are $1.00 for the red re-useable bags, but once you get home and notice blood from the meat, is anyone going to wash these bags, careful on your answer, you might anger the other people trying to save the water? As a consolation prize, now we have closets full of cloth bags we are to use for groceries, which we always forget to use, paper bags from the stores that let you have some dignity and at least offer paper bags, thanks Central Market, and other weird bags my wife gets as prizes, which again might make one round to the store, but these bags don't get back in the car regularly. So I buy bags, and lots of them, now. I bought one today at Target, .10 cents for a paper bag. I bought three red bags at HEB at $1/bag Saturday when I thought it would be nice to go get BBQ stuff while my wife was at work. Her car had bags, yeaih! I haven't met a single person in line defending this absurd idea, everyone does the "grrr, I forgot my bags". You see some cheap bastards tucking their groceries in their pockets. Best one was a couple months ago, HEB brought back the plastic bags, checker just said "pay $1.00, I got what you need and as many as you need." Like a freaking drug dealer. You won hippies, but stores are only ones making money from this.
The other great idea going on is "we're in a drought, don't use water outside." This means we can't wash our cars in our driveways, which is just dumb. It is OK to go to the car wash and spend $7 in quarters and I assume hundreds of gallons of high pressure water, screaming at my kid "Put quarters in, I swear if this hose stops, you're walking home little Turd!!" So stressful, I rarely do it. Why is this water different from the one that will come out of my hose with a water gun, where water only comes out when I squeeze? The car wash doesn't have a magic water reservoir, it is sucking from the same lake my house is sucking from, and forget those places like Genie Car Wash where you pay $20 or more, and then it rains or you run through some businesses errant sprinkler system pointing at the street after waiting over an hour, Hell to the No.
So many other ideas to "save the environment", how about solar cells, just $30,000. The city had an idea to "give" out electronic air conditioner controls, so you can control your A/C from your phone (by the way, the city also gets to control your house temperature, to avoid blackouts, of course). No thanks, I'll take my chances. How about replacing your light bulbs? They are supposed to stop producing regular "hot" bulbs, but I've been in Home Depot, some of those new bulbs are $20 each, they're supposed to last a long time, but I guess time will tell.
My coworker was having a panic attack about this, I say calm down, any problems we create will just be hurdles for future engineers to solve. He wasn't buying it, but at one point coming from Europe was a months long proposition, now it takes a few hours on a jet. If need be, we'll make Mars our next clean destination to go and destroy, at least there aren't people to remove. But if we find Marvin roaming around, shhh, wait until after he teaches us his ways before we act all human. What could possibly go wrong?
The other great idea going on is "we're in a drought, don't use water outside." This means we can't wash our cars in our driveways, which is just dumb. It is OK to go to the car wash and spend $7 in quarters and I assume hundreds of gallons of high pressure water, screaming at my kid "Put quarters in, I swear if this hose stops, you're walking home little Turd!!" So stressful, I rarely do it. Why is this water different from the one that will come out of my hose with a water gun, where water only comes out when I squeeze? The car wash doesn't have a magic water reservoir, it is sucking from the same lake my house is sucking from, and forget those places like Genie Car Wash where you pay $20 or more, and then it rains or you run through some businesses errant sprinkler system pointing at the street after waiting over an hour, Hell to the No.
So many other ideas to "save the environment", how about solar cells, just $30,000. The city had an idea to "give" out electronic air conditioner controls, so you can control your A/C from your phone (by the way, the city also gets to control your house temperature, to avoid blackouts, of course). No thanks, I'll take my chances. How about replacing your light bulbs? They are supposed to stop producing regular "hot" bulbs, but I've been in Home Depot, some of those new bulbs are $20 each, they're supposed to last a long time, but I guess time will tell.
My coworker was having a panic attack about this, I say calm down, any problems we create will just be hurdles for future engineers to solve. He wasn't buying it, but at one point coming from Europe was a months long proposition, now it takes a few hours on a jet. If need be, we'll make Mars our next clean destination to go and destroy, at least there aren't people to remove. But if we find Marvin roaming around, shhh, wait until after he teaches us his ways before we act all human. What could possibly go wrong?
12/9/14 You Want To Be A Man? #1
I am raising two boys, and we have seen many male friends of my son come through, plus I was involved in my upbringing, so of course I am an expert. If I can impart my wisdom on any lost man-child, start with looking in the mirror and telling yourself that guy there is responsible for everything that happens to him. If you fail a class, it wasn't the teacher having it in for you, you were an idiot, didn't learn what was being taught and YOU failed. You have a whole semester, 16 weeks, tutors, libraries, friends who have taken said class, unless you were doing everything in your power to pass, save the excuses.
If you get fired from a job, again you think I am going to believe you when you come around and say "my boss doesn't like me". Of course that is true, nobody likes shitty 20 year old guys, they're useless, unless they find a way to be productive. My son works ferrying drinks and food at Alamo Drafthouse, place is lousy with stairs, thanks to invention of stadium seating. My son is young enough and salary is fair enough that he can do that for a few years, while he goes to college. I don't mind him running up and down those stairs with food and drinks. He's not roofing or working out in the elements. He is relatively safe. He will tell me he keeps track and he's putting in like 16,000 steps, equivalent to nine miles, I say good.
He has a friend who can't keep a job, boy has a hot head and thinks wiping down surfaces is beneath him. He was working in one of those places where kids are entertained for $10/hr. Of course there's snot everywhere, that's what little kids are good at making. He got told one too many times to go Windex the glass surfaces and he refused, guess what, "you're fired." Nice call, Numbnuts. This kid refused to even try college, not for everybody, fine, but that means you better not be afraid of manual labor. Mama and Grandma are only going to do so much, he hasn't come over in a while, and I feel he knows I will bust his balls.
My son had a bag recently taken from his vehicle, looks like some Robin Hood type pried open the passenger door and took it, rubber gasket is kind of pulled and looks tampered with. He wants to lash out, but really, in this day and age, we know we can't leave nice things laying around. Luckily, bag only had some laundry in it. If my son learns to not leave things laying around for others to take, then that was a worthy lesson.
If you spend your days playing video games, and your girlfriend makes more money than you, you're probably a man-child. Do something about it, turn off the TV and go interact with the real world. "The Man" does not care what color you are, where you come from, how old you are. "The Man" cares about his business, will this asshat make me or lose me money? Prove yourself worthy to the people you interact with. Who gives a rat's ass that you're really good at Super Mario Bros. or whatever the kids are playing today?
If you get fired from a job, again you think I am going to believe you when you come around and say "my boss doesn't like me". Of course that is true, nobody likes shitty 20 year old guys, they're useless, unless they find a way to be productive. My son works ferrying drinks and food at Alamo Drafthouse, place is lousy with stairs, thanks to invention of stadium seating. My son is young enough and salary is fair enough that he can do that for a few years, while he goes to college. I don't mind him running up and down those stairs with food and drinks. He's not roofing or working out in the elements. He is relatively safe. He will tell me he keeps track and he's putting in like 16,000 steps, equivalent to nine miles, I say good.
He has a friend who can't keep a job, boy has a hot head and thinks wiping down surfaces is beneath him. He was working in one of those places where kids are entertained for $10/hr. Of course there's snot everywhere, that's what little kids are good at making. He got told one too many times to go Windex the glass surfaces and he refused, guess what, "you're fired." Nice call, Numbnuts. This kid refused to even try college, not for everybody, fine, but that means you better not be afraid of manual labor. Mama and Grandma are only going to do so much, he hasn't come over in a while, and I feel he knows I will bust his balls.
My son had a bag recently taken from his vehicle, looks like some Robin Hood type pried open the passenger door and took it, rubber gasket is kind of pulled and looks tampered with. He wants to lash out, but really, in this day and age, we know we can't leave nice things laying around. Luckily, bag only had some laundry in it. If my son learns to not leave things laying around for others to take, then that was a worthy lesson.
If you spend your days playing video games, and your girlfriend makes more money than you, you're probably a man-child. Do something about it, turn off the TV and go interact with the real world. "The Man" does not care what color you are, where you come from, how old you are. "The Man" cares about his business, will this asshat make me or lose me money? Prove yourself worthy to the people you interact with. Who gives a rat's ass that you're really good at Super Mario Bros. or whatever the kids are playing today?
Sunday, December 7, 2014
12/8/14 Psst, Can You Keep A Secret?
Tis time for the truth and clear my soul
You may not believe it, but this story does not have even one hole.
I am not the same as you or even she
I was born in the mighty blue sea.
I am three hundred and three years old
many a lifetimes I have seen unfold.
For I was here underwater, I am the last of my kind,
I am a Merman, please my life, let me rewind.
I was born back when witches cast spells,
my kind were used for our pores had strange smells.
I was to guard where now the Colorado River and the Gulf meet
but there is so much one half fish can do, and soon tasted defeat.
I held my position for nearly a century
but as most things do, it was all over in a hurry.
Wounded and left to die, I met a good witch
she healed me, legs grew and all I could say was "son of a bitch".
I settled in Corpus Christi, back when it was groovy
and soon was cast in a role, which at the time seemed for me.
People wanted to swim, but the oceans were full of sharks
crews were hired to dispose of them, to make beaches feel like parks.
I would destroy sharks, some days by the bunches
with what you say? well meet Pancho and Lefty, my punches.
I would rip out gills and suck out eyes from their sockets,
some I kept for good luck in my pockets.
Eventually, the tide did turn, turns out sharks got a publicist and now they're good.
I wouldn't trust one though, not in their hood.
I retired from the hunting, disappeared to a small town,
I pleaded with that witch to let me be normal and she shrunk me down.
The rest is normal stuff, that would surely bore you to death
but trust me enough, for I never talk to waste my breath.
This is for my younger son, who asks about my youth, and this is the story we've come up with when we go to Corpus Christi on vacation. No sharks were harmed in the making of this story. Can't say the same for the Mermen involved. :)
12/7/14 Give Me A Dollar, I'll Do It?
"Everyone's a whore, we just sell different parts of ourselves"
I've seen this quote a few times in my life. I like it, and it is true. My first job was working with my uncle, roofing. Great job to help one become a man. What more to remove the last bits of childish youth than to hang out in 100+ degree weather outside, with men who would rather be holding beer cans than hammers ferrying 80 pound bags of shingles on improvised ladders? This has to be one of the toughest jobs that a few miserable souls still get to do today. All day long on the hottest part of the house, bent over with a hammer in hand, tacking sheet after sheet. Best case scenario, you don't fall, back is a little sore, and you get paid your minimum wage, $5 an hour at the time, 1989 and my uncle liked me. Worst case, you might fall and die.
I had jobs while in school, tutored college algebra (piece of cake, act like a junior professor teaching what you just learned), and driving the commuter bus (basically stay awake). My next job after I had gotten my fancy degree from UT was working in a warehouse. That was another manual labor job, again, with men who love their beer. This job was crazy serious and a little dangerous at times. I still remember unloading a flat bed truck with 20 pallets of coils of wire, like the stuff on the telephone poles. The flatbed was old, as it sounds just flat and open, pallets sit out in the open. there were welts and rusted out holes on the flatbed and it was drizzling to raining, depending on how would prefer, but wet nonetheless. At one point, I was headed back to get one of the last pallets and I felt the whole forklift slide under me. All I thought was "fuck!" I didn't fall off, but the story was still in my mind, that I had replaced a guy who had made one of the forklifts take a nosedive out of the warehouse. Then there was the time the foreman asked me to help him move a baby grand piano. He seemed confidant, we do it all the time, quit being a girl about it. Thing had to weigh over 600 pounds and shape was just weird. I remember it going up for a second, then my mind said Nope! I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of lifting it and going anywhere.
Eventually I landed in something resembling the field of study I took, chemistry. Today, I work in a lab filled with fancy tools and I get paid to run these tools. A lot of hand eye coordination stuff, making decisions of how far to take a sample, how to approach a given sample to give the customer the data they need.
All these jobs however different, still call on the person doing them to sacrifice some of themselves to complete the tasks. I could very easily have fallen from a house, one of my uncles did, at one point, broke a leg. I too could have fallen out of the warehouse in a forklift, those wheels have no traction and you are always running late, so there is always urgency to push. My current job does not have physical dangers, but I am in a lab, surrounded by cylinders of various poisonous gasses, running through manmade equipment that could fail at any moment. But we do what we do, mostly to chase that dollar. I consider myself lucky, and I feel that these very different jobs have taught me to respect the people that do them. When I see that small sized man working on all these apartments, knowing he is probably illegal, I don't think "goddammit, he's taking our jobs", I just think please don't fall, that job sucks, thank you for doing it well enough.
Saturday, December 6, 2014
12/6/14 Where Do We Dispose The Bodies?
Eventually, most relationships end. It is a hard and painful life lesson. My son just admitted he was still communicating with his last girlfriend when he had "ended" that relationship to us about three months ago. I know it's hard, I still have a hard time removing people, it is much easier to be cast aside by the other party. When the other party leaves you, you have an instant "bad guy", it is easy to rally around the rage. Anger and resentment can build and wane until the person disappears from our thoughts. I don't have a history of eliminating people, personally, only have a handful of people I've had to tell "I am moving on, without you." At his age, it is much more common, their tastes in music, life plans, religious convictions all play into who you are going to surround yourself with.
We tell him it is normal to fall in and out of love, take your time growing a relationship, if it is right, it will last the rest of your life. If it is wrong, homes will be broken, lives destroyed, children left in turmoil. Most important, you have to like this person and how they want to be. We are not all built the same, which is what I am exploring in thought, most of the time.
Now he finds himself in Finals Week, getting over the same relationship for a second or third time. He looks a little sick, his best friend also got mad, and they stormed out in a huff, which is deserved because he had denied spending time with the ex. This is his fourth or fifth girlfriend, the bodies are stacking up like firewood, each of the girls has been lovely and sweet, the problem is just the age. You're not supposed to marry the girl you meet in high school.
Saying that though, my wife and I have been together 27 years or so, since Nov 13, 1987. She is technically my third girlfriend and I her first boyfriend. We've had our ups and downs, but generally, we are always in sync. We met my junior year in high school, her freshman year, 16 and 14, respectively. It has worked, I don't know how, well I do, but you wouldn't believe me, and If I start telling all my secrets, you might become as awesome as me, and that might be a bridge too far for some of y'all. (I kid)
The title of this writing refers to all the people, friends, classmates, roommates, lovers, and coworkers. People come and go, some we miss and think about, what of the others, all the background noise of our youth, one day it's just gone. I went to school with a class of about 100 kids, today, I could locate 1 or 2. My roommates at UT and all the assorted people I met. I loved those guys, we made each other better people, poof, gone in a cloud, as if they only existed in a story I read. The gals I met along the way, any number of them would have made a worthy partner, I like to think that I have only associated with quality people, all heart, caring, distinct personalities, I miss some of them.
So it goes Son, life is not that story in a book, where you can close the book and say it is fiction, you must feel life, the crying parts are also good, you will remember the people in fleeting thoughts. As they saying goes: nobody said it would be easy, they said it would be worth it.
We tell him it is normal to fall in and out of love, take your time growing a relationship, if it is right, it will last the rest of your life. If it is wrong, homes will be broken, lives destroyed, children left in turmoil. Most important, you have to like this person and how they want to be. We are not all built the same, which is what I am exploring in thought, most of the time.
Now he finds himself in Finals Week, getting over the same relationship for a second or third time. He looks a little sick, his best friend also got mad, and they stormed out in a huff, which is deserved because he had denied spending time with the ex. This is his fourth or fifth girlfriend, the bodies are stacking up like firewood, each of the girls has been lovely and sweet, the problem is just the age. You're not supposed to marry the girl you meet in high school.
Saying that though, my wife and I have been together 27 years or so, since Nov 13, 1987. She is technically my third girlfriend and I her first boyfriend. We've had our ups and downs, but generally, we are always in sync. We met my junior year in high school, her freshman year, 16 and 14, respectively. It has worked, I don't know how, well I do, but you wouldn't believe me, and If I start telling all my secrets, you might become as awesome as me, and that might be a bridge too far for some of y'all. (I kid)
The title of this writing refers to all the people, friends, classmates, roommates, lovers, and coworkers. People come and go, some we miss and think about, what of the others, all the background noise of our youth, one day it's just gone. I went to school with a class of about 100 kids, today, I could locate 1 or 2. My roommates at UT and all the assorted people I met. I loved those guys, we made each other better people, poof, gone in a cloud, as if they only existed in a story I read. The gals I met along the way, any number of them would have made a worthy partner, I like to think that I have only associated with quality people, all heart, caring, distinct personalities, I miss some of them.
So it goes Son, life is not that story in a book, where you can close the book and say it is fiction, you must feel life, the crying parts are also good, you will remember the people in fleeting thoughts. As they saying goes: nobody said it would be easy, they said it would be worth it.
Friday, December 5, 2014
12/5/14 When Is Enough?
I spoil my boys. What else are we supposed to do? I don't see a problem giving them what they ask for, provided they show appreciation and whatever toy has some value. I personally hate Legos, they are a pain in the ass to assemble, won't stay assembled in the hands of a 10 year old and eventually you will step on a piece. But they do teach spatial orientation, engineering skills and strengthen finger dexterity to name a few positive things. Both boys have gone through periods where they absorb anything Lego. I say OK, my wife just looks away.
This of course is superseded by video games. I had them, I loved them. From Atari 2600 onward, they are just a part of life. I've lost track of how many consoles my older boy has gone through. Today, he scoffs at consoles, "true gaming is done on PCs, Dad...." and both of them own a couple portable Gameboys.
I honestly don't know when and where to stop. I can say we spend upwards of $500 on each boy each Christmas. Most years, there's a new console, they can't possibly play on the same one, each has their own room and a corner set up for gaming. The older one has gotten into guns, we gave him a rifle last year, this year he has asked for a handgun. Of course, he will take a handgun course, and the minute either boy shows signs of becoming an idiot, I start taking things away.
If I haven't said it, they are both good boys and both do very well in school. The teachers always like them, my mom being a teacher and counselor, we instilled in them that those teachers are not there to babysit you, they are there to teach you something to make you useful in the future. Luckily (or because my sperm are that good :) ), discipline has never been a big issue.
My older sons biggest party night was when he got "drunk" on Redbulls, he said he drank like eight one night at a friend's party. He was sitting there by a campfire in the dark yelling at me to come carry him to the car. He was in 9th or 10th grade, surrounded by all these boys I had known since he was in Kinder. My initial reaction was anger, followed by laughing my ass off, after realizing alcohol was not involved. He was belligerent though, saying he needed to go to the emergency room and that we didn't love him, and that we needed to do something about it. I remember telling him to shut it and take a shower. We stayed with him, not letting him fall asleep until he was back to normal. We still make fun of him for this. When we've had parties at the house, he'll walk around with a thin layer of scotch in a glass, proclaiming himself a "scotch man", but if he drinks it, he is asleep an hour later, usually he just pours it into my glass, saying it went bad.
Can we reverse this pattern we have created? Would it work if I tried to say Santa brought you a $5 gift certificate to Starbucks? I think not, my palms got sweaty just thinking it. While I have the ability and this lifestyle, I will give them all I can. After all, they are begat of my loins, so essentially I am giving to myself and I do feel I should spoil me, because as people like to say on FB, "you deserve it."
This of course is superseded by video games. I had them, I loved them. From Atari 2600 onward, they are just a part of life. I've lost track of how many consoles my older boy has gone through. Today, he scoffs at consoles, "true gaming is done on PCs, Dad...." and both of them own a couple portable Gameboys.
I honestly don't know when and where to stop. I can say we spend upwards of $500 on each boy each Christmas. Most years, there's a new console, they can't possibly play on the same one, each has their own room and a corner set up for gaming. The older one has gotten into guns, we gave him a rifle last year, this year he has asked for a handgun. Of course, he will take a handgun course, and the minute either boy shows signs of becoming an idiot, I start taking things away.
If I haven't said it, they are both good boys and both do very well in school. The teachers always like them, my mom being a teacher and counselor, we instilled in them that those teachers are not there to babysit you, they are there to teach you something to make you useful in the future. Luckily (or because my sperm are that good :) ), discipline has never been a big issue.
My older sons biggest party night was when he got "drunk" on Redbulls, he said he drank like eight one night at a friend's party. He was sitting there by a campfire in the dark yelling at me to come carry him to the car. He was in 9th or 10th grade, surrounded by all these boys I had known since he was in Kinder. My initial reaction was anger, followed by laughing my ass off, after realizing alcohol was not involved. He was belligerent though, saying he needed to go to the emergency room and that we didn't love him, and that we needed to do something about it. I remember telling him to shut it and take a shower. We stayed with him, not letting him fall asleep until he was back to normal. We still make fun of him for this. When we've had parties at the house, he'll walk around with a thin layer of scotch in a glass, proclaiming himself a "scotch man", but if he drinks it, he is asleep an hour later, usually he just pours it into my glass, saying it went bad.
Can we reverse this pattern we have created? Would it work if I tried to say Santa brought you a $5 gift certificate to Starbucks? I think not, my palms got sweaty just thinking it. While I have the ability and this lifestyle, I will give them all I can. After all, they are begat of my loins, so essentially I am giving to myself and I do feel I should spoil me, because as people like to say on FB, "you deserve it."
Thursday, December 4, 2014
12/4/14 When Do You Say Uncle?
My wife is in another conference this quarter, just came back from one three weeks ago in Kansas City. This leaves me playing Mr. Mom. When my boys were younger this bothered me because the responsibility scared me. Now that the boys are 10 and 20, they are fine and I can certainly entertain them as needed. When she goes though, my chores double. I have to wake them, feed the younger one, keep clothes going through the wash, make sure they have dinner (I work nights). Check homework, and all the stuff I do. I even celebrate a bit when everything lines up. If I can grab basket from bathroom, load empty breakfast dishes on top, come downstairs, start hot water in sink while I load wash, get back and wash dishes in one five minute span, well, gold star for me.
I don't see it as work, simply keeping my house in order. This on top of working a 12 hour shift 4-5 days a week leaves very little down time.
Down time is actually a bigger hassle. When everything is always so well orchestrated and flowing it's fine, but when we come into a block of free time, I get a little weird. I don't like being unproductive. Sitting around for a night watching TV, grilling is great. When we have four days off, such as Thanksgiving Weekend, man, I can almost hear the tick tock. My wife would rather cuddle in bed on a lazy afternoon, but I feel like come on, there has to be something we could be taking care of. I only take vacation from work if there is a trip planned. I don't think I've sat around for a week loafing around the house since 2008 when I was forced to stay home by my company.
I have always been like this, my first job after graduation from UT, was working at a warehouse driving a forklift. Within the month, I was in charge of the warehouse space, and even though I didn't have experience, I picked up the ins and outs of the forklifts. I was quickly working 12-14 hour days, going to work before 6am to avoid traffic and staying until after 7pm for the same reason. I would take a fifteen minute lunch break and be on my feet all day, to be young...
I am glad now, that I quit after a year after demanding a raise and not getting it. That place would have consumed me. Nobody was saying go home or only work 40 hours, but at $8/hr, I was a cheap mule.
My present day job has periods of unlimited overtime, and I do go crazy with the hours. I've worked +84 hours a couple times. But at the rates they pay me, they put a stop to it as quickly as they can. They say "everyone" is supposed to be helping out, not just you. This is so other people get in on the action, but most people don't like working more than they have to.
I can see and I know that I overdo it with work at times, but I thought that's what a man is supposed to do, make as much as you can for the family. As I'm getting older, I am noticing that there is no such thing as enough.
I don't see it as work, simply keeping my house in order. This on top of working a 12 hour shift 4-5 days a week leaves very little down time.
Down time is actually a bigger hassle. When everything is always so well orchestrated and flowing it's fine, but when we come into a block of free time, I get a little weird. I don't like being unproductive. Sitting around for a night watching TV, grilling is great. When we have four days off, such as Thanksgiving Weekend, man, I can almost hear the tick tock. My wife would rather cuddle in bed on a lazy afternoon, but I feel like come on, there has to be something we could be taking care of. I only take vacation from work if there is a trip planned. I don't think I've sat around for a week loafing around the house since 2008 when I was forced to stay home by my company.
I have always been like this, my first job after graduation from UT, was working at a warehouse driving a forklift. Within the month, I was in charge of the warehouse space, and even though I didn't have experience, I picked up the ins and outs of the forklifts. I was quickly working 12-14 hour days, going to work before 6am to avoid traffic and staying until after 7pm for the same reason. I would take a fifteen minute lunch break and be on my feet all day, to be young...
I am glad now, that I quit after a year after demanding a raise and not getting it. That place would have consumed me. Nobody was saying go home or only work 40 hours, but at $8/hr, I was a cheap mule.
My present day job has periods of unlimited overtime, and I do go crazy with the hours. I've worked +84 hours a couple times. But at the rates they pay me, they put a stop to it as quickly as they can. They say "everyone" is supposed to be helping out, not just you. This is so other people get in on the action, but most people don't like working more than they have to.
I can see and I know that I overdo it with work at times, but I thought that's what a man is supposed to do, make as much as you can for the family. As I'm getting older, I am noticing that there is no such thing as enough.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
12/3/14 Who Is In Charge, Pilot or Passenger?
I read one of those cheesy inspirational sayings to my wife and tongue in cheek said "I'm your Pilot, Baby, you go where Daddy says." She calmly countered back, "yeah, you're driving, but the passenger tells the pilot where to go". So now I'm not sure which is the better position to be in. Sure the pilot has the controls, but that also means they have the responsibility of maintaining said aircraft and keeping control should an emergency ensue. The passenger in life, while not in control of the aircraft gets to go on the journey with some influence, or she is a captor and not a passenger. So does one really wish to get up earlier, make sure aircraft is flight worthy, filled with fuel and weather and destination are mapped out or is it better to just show up in fuzzy slippers point "I wanna go there" and cover your eyes with an eye mask?
I know I'm stretching a positive sentiment to ridiculousness, but there is still a point in there somewhere (I think). People that are driven just consider the extra work part of life. When I started college, my mom said we would all go to the local junior college, which was in next town over, 40 miles away. There were two commuter busses that took us there. The first year, being new, I just jumped in, but by the second semester, I had gotten the courage and will to try and learn how to drive the bus. Guy that drove the bus was all too willing to show me how, I still remember him saying "you wanna drive, sure" and got up off seat as it was going 55 and told me go ahead. There was no backing down, I jumped in seat and felt right with the world. Of course, I had never driven a manual transmission, so slowing down was tricky, but bus driver guy explained how to shift gears. Pretty soon, I was driving the bus, for fun and practice. During the summer I got my class A driver's license and by second year in junior college I was driving the daily commuter bus. I figured we are all going to the same place, but I am getting paid to get there and the bus won't ever leave me behind. In addition, I learned how to drive manual and this helped my parents, when they got me my first vehicle, it was a manual truck, which was cheaper than an automatic transmission.
I don't think a leader (pilot) minds the extra responsibility, it is just part of what it takes to get things done. I don't fret or whine when we go out of town, the keys are always in my pocket, it is just assumed that I drive. In the last couple years, I have even been letting my wife take the keys, it is nice, to a point, to be driven. But I get antsy, I feel like the vehicle feels better when I am driving.
My wife is too cool about letting me lead the world (in my head). We went to Disney World a couple years ago, driving, of course. It is about 21 hours from Austin to Orlando. I drove and told her she could drive when I got tired. Being a night-shifter for last 19 years, I said, I'll get us through the night, no problem. Well we left fine and I did drive through the night and in the morning I felt a little tired but we'd stop and I'd get coffee and she would talk to me and I'd argue with the boys about something or other. Finally, I said no more, I didn't know how much longer to get to the condo we were staying in, but we fueled up, I sat in the passenger seat, closed my eyes and 15 minutes later, she wakes me. We're here. She still makes fun of me, that on that trip, she drove her fair share to help me out. I don't get the credit for getting us there completely.
Luckily, I have a wife who is maybe even a better leader than me. And a superior leader will let their staff do what they are trained to do. Maybe I am not running the show as I want to believe, but really I am just a great chauffeur. As long as I have the keys in my pocket, I know I won't get left behind, so that is ok with me.
I know I'm stretching a positive sentiment to ridiculousness, but there is still a point in there somewhere (I think). People that are driven just consider the extra work part of life. When I started college, my mom said we would all go to the local junior college, which was in next town over, 40 miles away. There were two commuter busses that took us there. The first year, being new, I just jumped in, but by the second semester, I had gotten the courage and will to try and learn how to drive the bus. Guy that drove the bus was all too willing to show me how, I still remember him saying "you wanna drive, sure" and got up off seat as it was going 55 and told me go ahead. There was no backing down, I jumped in seat and felt right with the world. Of course, I had never driven a manual transmission, so slowing down was tricky, but bus driver guy explained how to shift gears. Pretty soon, I was driving the bus, for fun and practice. During the summer I got my class A driver's license and by second year in junior college I was driving the daily commuter bus. I figured we are all going to the same place, but I am getting paid to get there and the bus won't ever leave me behind. In addition, I learned how to drive manual and this helped my parents, when they got me my first vehicle, it was a manual truck, which was cheaper than an automatic transmission.
I don't think a leader (pilot) minds the extra responsibility, it is just part of what it takes to get things done. I don't fret or whine when we go out of town, the keys are always in my pocket, it is just assumed that I drive. In the last couple years, I have even been letting my wife take the keys, it is nice, to a point, to be driven. But I get antsy, I feel like the vehicle feels better when I am driving.
My wife is too cool about letting me lead the world (in my head). We went to Disney World a couple years ago, driving, of course. It is about 21 hours from Austin to Orlando. I drove and told her she could drive when I got tired. Being a night-shifter for last 19 years, I said, I'll get us through the night, no problem. Well we left fine and I did drive through the night and in the morning I felt a little tired but we'd stop and I'd get coffee and she would talk to me and I'd argue with the boys about something or other. Finally, I said no more, I didn't know how much longer to get to the condo we were staying in, but we fueled up, I sat in the passenger seat, closed my eyes and 15 minutes later, she wakes me. We're here. She still makes fun of me, that on that trip, she drove her fair share to help me out. I don't get the credit for getting us there completely.
Luckily, I have a wife who is maybe even a better leader than me. And a superior leader will let their staff do what they are trained to do. Maybe I am not running the show as I want to believe, but really I am just a great chauffeur. As long as I have the keys in my pocket, I know I won't get left behind, so that is ok with me.
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