I don't mean that in a weird way, I mean that in the context of he thinks he is a master chef. Monday night is usually meatless Mondays for him and Sweetie. Since they usually do their own thing and we eat our thing, I usually don't care or notice what they do. Now, if I notice they cooked some large chunks of meat, even if it is chicken, I might take a look at their leftovers, but I have learned Monday night is not a good night for that. For some reason, Boy came down just as I got home from work on Monday night, around 1:00am. I was looking for something to eat and I would have been fine with some of our leftover BBQ and some chips. Nope, he suggested I eat his concoction of beans, corn, quinoa, carrots and maybe half a bag of whatever Sweetie's Guinea pig eats. He said it was a protein mix and that I didn't need to eat meat with it. I said thanks, it didn't look too bad, and as soon as he ran upstairs, I added a couple chunks of sausage and fajitas to the plate.
I ate this and didn't think much of it. It stayed down, I didn't burp it or think of it in any way the next day. Wife is working Tuesdays and Thursdays the rest of May, so she was gone all day. Javalina and I managed to finish the leftover BBQ by Tuesday morning, so I tossed a frozen pizza in the oven for lunch. Again, I didn't think much of it, I ate this around 1:00pm, and by 2:00pm I was getting ready for work, pooping and showering, as my stomach churned and made noises to tell me it was time to go. I then napped from around 3:00pm to maybe 4:40pm, on and off. I had planned on sleeping until 6:00pm, but it was too much. Once I woke and tossed and turned, I heard Wife come in, so I made my way downstairs. We caught up with each other's days and I took off to work.
Work was the same as always. I get there with my gloves on from the house, I wipe down all of the surfaces in the lab, as I might touch and lean on any and all of them, along with the keyboards, mouses, and chairs. I take out 3 pairs of gloves, so I can change into new ones after, another pair between 8:00-9:00pm and then a final pair around 10:00-11:00pm. I made the transition of gloves after I peed at 8:00pm just fine. At 11:00pm, with no warning, I went to pee and felt like I might fart, sat and by then it was too late. The Quinoa bomb went off. I was trying to not push and just let a little gas out, but then my stomach said "I'm taking over, it cramped up and released." I was left wiping for ten minutes. That work toilet paper is horrible. It just breaks down with any moisture and leaves nothing but dingleberries in the ass crack. I felt so betrayed by my innards. I carry a big bag of wipes in my backpack like a freaking toddler, in case I have to poop, but this was just a sneak attack. I thought of running to the lab and running back to the bathroom, but that seemed stupid knowing I only had one more hour of work.
I manned up as much as I could, knowing my ass was already destroyed, finished, then contemplated the walk to the car. They make us park in front of building four, which means I have to walk like a quarter mile to get to my car. I did this slowly and gingerly. As soon as I got home, I crawled upstairs and took a shower. I haven't been doing that, showering at night before bed but it felt so great, like I was going to be alright after all.
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