Wife was gone most of the day yesterday with her family and tat was fine, but at some point in the middle of the day after spending most of the early part cleaning, we got hungry and offered to take us to eat at Zaxby's. It was time for a salad and I love their cobb salad with pieces of chicken tenders cut on top. We were having a fine lunch then I asked where we should go next. Boy and Sweetie have been tearing up his bedroom, I mean giving it the cleaning it has never gotten, so they wanted to go directly back home. I have been doing nothing but working and sleeping the last few weeks. It is the 21st and we haven't even started Christmas shopping yet.
I got a thought in my head a few days ago. I had seen some "dirt bikes" at Sam's, which are really cheap knock-offs for $500, but in my head (or if it was me), it would be too cool to have a pair for me and a friend to run around the woods and greenbelt behind the house. This of course grew, instead of these "cheap" bikes, maybe go to Woods Fun Center and see how much "real" Yamaha dirt bikes cost and maybe get a pair for Christmas. This is as far as I got yesterday before I was chanked and spit on and left for dead by my "loved ones".
First of all, Javalina NEVER wants to do anything out of the ordinary, so his first response was NO!, I just want to go home. Boy was kind of neutral, then I said maybe we can convince Sweetie that riding on a jetski could be fun (Boy had said at one point that she is scared of the water because she can't swim). Then surprise, she responds "No, Dude, I am so over those, my uncles have some and I've been on them a bunch of times." I tried to save the trip by saying "well, they also have motorcycles and all sorts of toys that I like to think about owning." She nonchalantly retorted back "I've done all that (turns to Boy and says "BTW, do you want my uncle to bring the 2seater or the 4seater ATV to the Christmas party?").
Other than feeling like a child, what can I do? I just sit there and say "well, I guess you've done everything so we should just go home and keep cleaning." This is when I turn the conversation into a one person self deprecating play and left her pretty defenseless because I am using her phrasing to insult me.
I'm not impressed by your efforts, Fat man. You want to go see these toys that I have already ridden on so much I am bored to even think about doing it anymore, yawn." This is how I started recounting the story, which made her a little uncomfortable insisting "that is not what I said." But, I say "that is what I heard and understood as I lay here stabbed with your cold shank in my ribs." I continued the rest of the afternoon, adding stuff like "I realize I am a loser, I can't even manage a dirt bike, meanwhile you got choices between 2 seaters and 4 seaters plus acres upon acres to run around in." Boy said something like just leave him alone once he goes on and on, he won't stop.
I gave it one more spin when Wife got home and I was retelling her. She knows how I make myself a martyr in these scenarios and after I was poor little me this and poor little me that, Wife was wow, you look so sad. I said "I know, the only thing that will get me out of this funk is a new boat." She just brushed me off and asked "what about Christmas gifts boys, we haven't gotten anything, to which I exclaimed one last time "let's just get a family boat for Christmas." But nobody in this family is on my side.
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