It took me a long time to accept my life as I saw it developing once I knew I was married and having to pivot away from a life of thinking for myself. I didn't grow up with aspirations of being anything in particular, I have pretty much accepted the day as it comes and don't like to think about the future but I remember sometime in high school when we all have to decide what we are going to do with our lives. In high school, I loved band more than anything, other than you know, but nobody wants to see a fat pornstar. According to Wife, she just assumed I would study music and become some sort of band director. I might have thought that for a day or two, but I really am driven by the idea of making money and having more that the guy next door. This made it easy to choose pre-med as a course of study. When I had to choose an actual degree plan, I went with chemistry because I thought that is something I know nothing about and this will strengthen my background on it and at some point I'll switch over to an easier degree plan like Biology (I don't know why that would be easier). Chemistry had its challenges, but it never overwhelmed me, so I stuck with it.
I was devastated when I didn't get into medical school, not because I really wanted to be a doctor, I think I would have been fine at it, but what hurt is that I wouldn't make the big bucks they made. I floundered for a couple years, worked at the warehouse driving a forklift and unloading trucks and then working with a classmate of mine in the LCRA chemistry lab. I could have stayed there and followed the path but my friend would always be above me and I couldn't really dig that. Eventually I found my way into the semiconductor world, totally by accident and that seemed to fit me.
I guess I am reflecting on this because my mom sent me a text today of a guy from back home that became a doctor and according to my mom quite successful out in the Corpus Christi area but he got Covid-19 and passed away. On top of that, he had moved his mom in to live with him and apparently, she sick too, and my mom sent another text tonight that she had passed away as well. My condolences to the family this has to be truly devastating to the survivors, and I hate to make it about me, but had I made it into med school, this could have been my outcome. It is not guaranteed that where I work or live won't eventually get me infected, but being a health care worker in today's climate means you are living and breathing in a war zone. Maybe I won't ever have the riches of a doctor, but I am happy with what we have been able to do, I don't really live a stressful life, I am off plenty and I get to see my boys daily, so life is good.
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