The last two days were extremely trying on our family, I am only grateful that we have such a big group to support on each other. Our uncle that passed away we could argue was too young, we could argue he was too good a man, too loving, too generous, he was the strength and spirit of so many. He had children from a first marriage who we have met and known throughout the years, they lived in the small cities around Crystal City, so it was not often that they got together with us.
I was thinking of the 7 stages of grief and it will be awhile before we all get through them, but I am still shocked it happened. Had it been a few years back when he was very big, I would have understood, but he had in the last 2-3 years lost a lot of weight, what is the point of losing so much weight to be "healthier" only to suffer from a life taking event like a stroke? I personally felt a lot of guilt because I chose not to go down and visit with my family, it would at least have given me one last chance to see him and interact with him, he always enjoyed the banter created there at the house. I don't think I ever saw him in a bad mood, unlike most of us Gallegos types that get ornery and ugly the second we feel crossed. I would be a better person if I could just ride the waves of life like he did instead of insisting on fighting every little thing I don't agree with.
Constantly arguing over the existence of a god, I can't help but feel anger that a god would allow something like this to happen. We lose a good man to the grim reaper, meanwhile idiots that kill people, do a few months in jail and get to walk out like it's nothing. I think depression is the hardest in the group to get past. I don't want to feel depressed for my uncle. He lived his life his way and the death was so fast, I don't think he suffered too much. I do get depressed thinking it is just a matter of time before we loose another family member. Even if we all lived to 120 years old, it still seems like not enough time. I guess this is what makes life so valuable, spend it wisely for you don't know how long you have left. The upward turn will take a while for my aunt to come to terms with. She had become so dependent on my uncle for too many things. I know she is stronger than she knows, it may take some time, but she will find a way and a purpose to go on.
Reconstruction and working through is the second to last step and it will be awhile before my aunt gets there, it is possible. One of my uncles was telling her to maybe get a dog for companionship, this way she has someone dependent on her, it gives her a little structure and someone to "talk" to. She had not been working due to problems with her knees, she may find that the best course is to correct this to make her mobile again. Finally, there will be acceptance in due time. Because we are all human and we all eventually succumb to the grim reaper, we must accept our limitations. This is the best case for holding on to religion. It has built in hope that we will meet again in a holy life, and for this reason I hope my beliefs are wrong. Again, we don't know how much time anyone has, we should always be trying to make the best of the time we are given together.
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