Nobody knows how long they are going to live. The next breath we take could be our last, shoot a poisonous bug could be creeping toward you while in bed and kill you accidentally, you could be in a car crash in the morning doing the same route you have been doing for twenty years. It is for this reason we need to make well and tell those we love that we love them all the time. We never know when the last time we will see someone is. My selfish goal this Christmas break was to stay home and not go anywhere. I half heartedly attempted to go visit my mom's house last week, but they were fumbling with the days and thinking about coming up to visit us, as a lazy man, I said great.
Tonight, my luck ran out, I always take for granted that people will be there when I want to see them. My mom called that an uncle I really like passed out at work and was rushed to the hospital. I thought it was simply from a diabetic complication as he has been fighting it for awhile, an hour later mom called to say he had passed. There is nothing more final than those words, no arguing "well, can they do this or can they try that?" Passed away means we are in a new chapter of life, one in which the person no longer is around. He was a good man, a kind man, from the time he and my aunt met, his only goal seemed to see to her happiness and his daughters. I haven't met many nicer humans than him.
He spent a good 10-15 years driving a semi truck with my dad on the highway all over the United States. I know he was a patient man because my dad, I love him, but he can be ornery. I never heard Fred say one bad thing about Dad and I can't figure how or why. One weekend here and I am tempted to give him a quick kick in the ass, hopefully to reboot his old ass like an old computer constantly complaining about nonsense, like the distance of a restaurant to our house, and my poor uncle spent years driving with him.
One summer I was showing off a gold chain on a vacation I had bought at Zales. It would have been something I would not have considered, but my mother in law got great discounts. He looked at it, said it was the same style ("Figaro chain") as his bracelet and said here, they'll match. He gave me his bracelet on the spot, I thought was odd at the moment, but he was that kind of guy, a good man who liked seeing people happy. I always felt weird about this, but it made me more generous, I rarely thought about giving to others, it just isn't something that comes naturally to me.
I am sorry we did not take one more trip last week, it would have been nice to hug you one more time and talk for a bit. Perhaps if we learn from everything, this is the shove I need to visit family more often, as I don't have a real excuse when we compare things against the strongest words I hate to hear "loved one" has passed away. Thanks for everything and love you Fred, goodbye.
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