I didn't meet Wife until we were in high school, yet our houses were about six blocks apart. Now it seems like nothing, both coming from our tiny little town. I thought we were essentially the same, both coming from similar middle class families, but vacationing now with both families shows huge differences. We were at my in-laws last night for my brother in law's birthday, and Wife just wanted to see her folks and we had nothing better to do. Just recounting some of the stories from our vacation made them nervous, yet I don't think my folks even notice how stressful all of us together can be.
Starting with the drive. I love the drive, I am not going to vacation by plane, unless we are leaving the country. I enjoyed having my parents ride with us, it gave us a chance to talk and be together, everything was great except every couple hundred miles my dad ever vigilant in the back seat leaning forward like a golden retriever wishing the window was open would yell out "AY ya yai, me sacas los pedos" (basically oh shit that scared me). This would startle the crap out of me which would make me jump. I'd have to give him shit "old man, I've never been in an accident, I know what I'm doing, sit back and relax." Most of the way, I was in the front, followed by my brother in law, a hero if there ever was one, Captain Jockstrap. I was pretty much driving 80-85 when we weren't being slowed down by traffic, yet he would text that I was driving like an old lady, to move to the slow lane. I told him to pass me, I would follow him, but that would only last a couple miles.
I could write a book on my dad's contradictions, some of the stuff he would say, made me look back at him. One minute "you are eating up the miles, it's great" when he would see we were going 85. As soon as it got a little congested "dammit, why are you in such a rush all the time? Move to the slow lane." I just did not take him seriously after awhile, he was not the most stressful person on the trip.
The takeaway my mother in law got was that they had never been to Disney, so they were all willing to let us be their guide, nobody pulled in different directions. That was a huge difference. My brother thinks the most important part of the parks is taking pictures with the characters. I have never bought into that. I just see some teenager in a stuffed suit. I don't like wasting any time in those lines taking pictures. My mom, ever the Switzerland, would defend their right to take pictures, it is something precious and special to them, no matter if it takes a couple hours. What about our time, my boys are not interested in stuffed people, they get it that they are not really Mickey? "Oh, you've been here before, let them enjoy this."
My biggest argument was with the time. Of course I work nights, I move slower in the mornings, I kept suggesting going to the parks later, like 11-noon, then we could stay until the parks close, we are not in a rush in the morning, uhhh no. You are selfish, you've been here before, you don't care if we make it all the way around the park. Ok, fast forward to five o' clock, and everyone was dragging ass right as the sun was starting to go down and it wasn't as hot. But of course I am the one that has secret agendas. My brother's brother in law came along and he said the first park my brother got to they were so early he felt like the Grizwald's, not even sure the park was going to open. That is a waste of time to me, I say sleep in, let the first batch of idiots run through, by the time we show up, there is not a huge crowd waiting to get in. Other than Magic Kingdom, where the monorail was down, we got to the parks before noon. We were in Magic Kingdom by 1:00pm, and then stayed until 11:00pm.
My takeaway is that my family is full of leaders, which makes all of us pains in the asses. Everyone wants to be in charge, everyone knows everything, and "how dare you think you can entertain me better than I could." I still want to vacation with them, but seriously, can we leave the house around noon next time?
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