I write this on the request of Wife, I felt it might be disrespectful somehow, but she insists it is how you saw her, it can't be wrong. It has been seven years today that she passed. The last paragraph is just injecting a little humor Mother.
Mema was my the term for both grandmas actually, but here I am referring to my mother's mother. She was divorced while I was very young, and although this would have diminished the light and shine of lesser people, this only seemed to make her stronger and bolder. She became our Matriarch, and she had no problemo busting balls and saying what needed to be said. I totally loved this about her. I hate people that pussyfoot around a topic, say what needs to be said, you'll feel better. While in the hospital on her last days, I remember visiting her and a roomful of family, I go to kiss her and she very matter of fact said "Junior, cut that ridiculous thing from your face, it looks like a vagina is on your chin." Uh, you're right grandma, I'll take care of it. I had been trying to grow my beard long, it just wouldn't go past a certain point. She never meant us any harm, but she said what she said.
When I was going to UT, and basically a starving student, Mema would always have a case of cereal, or a block of ham or cheese. She worked in the cafeteria, lets just say she bought the stuff, but it really helped get me through some lean times. My parents were helping too, but they had three other kids and my sister was up to her eyeballs in ballet folklorico dresses and lessons and cheerleader stuff and on and on. It was very nice, Mema would pull me aside, give me $20-$40, now realizing she was probably sacrificing her fun money for me.
I remember visiting her a few times in the main cafeteria, and even with all the other twenty ladies cooking, she'd yell something and poof, we'd have a plate to eat there on her office table. She was born to lead.
I loved the way she could make my Mom and her sisters all shake in their shoes. But not her baby boy though, my uncle farted lavender and burped poetry in her eyes. This was a 6'5" 400 pound angel who fluttered about on silk wings to her, never you say he did wrong. Maybe she was tougher on the gals, cause I never felt anything but love from her. I'd go and visit, razz her a bit, and she'd just say "ay Junior!!" and point me to some leftover food to eat. She is probably the only one who could get under my Mom's skin, in a matter of seconds too. I always thought it entertaining. She knew what she did, after getting either my Mom or one of my aunts to submit, she'd be there in a sing songy "ejelejeleeje", and time for a cigarette.
From my eyes, my Mom was top alpha dog, until grandma showed up. She was no little old lady with the hunched back, if she was going out of the house, careful cause she was packing heat. At a certain point she showed us a revolver she carried, just in case.
I know I say I am atheist, but if I am wrong, I have no doubt she will have argued with the big Guy to make sure I get up there with the rest of the family, and like I say, she was and is a lady that gets stuff done. Conversely, if she is down there, I am sure she will have taken over and will have a hot tub waiting for me, at a comfortable temperature, and a tray of burritos, pizza squares, and of course, on Thursdays, hamburgers. Cause Thursdays should always be hamburger day. Love you Mema.
Sounds like an incredible woman!
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