Hallways are kickass, hallways are cool
If your house has one, chances are you rule.
My childhood house had a hallway seemed miles long when I was four
We'd play football, and variations of hockey when outside it would pour.
Although it seemed wide enough for a car to pass by
always watch for those nails on the baseboard, or it would be time to cry.
Now I look on that hallway and I believe it has shrunk,
not even 3 feet wide, what happened, were we drunk?
My workplace has hallways, they go on for miles in all sorts of directions
I walk them sometimes, for exercise, hopefully avoid those type 2 diabetes injections.
Because I work nights and I'm about the only one here
they keep most of the lights off in the hallways which can make the ends seem to disappear
I am not scared, I tell myself I'm brave,
walk through the dark fat-ass, losing weight is what you crave
Even my workstation is only lit by the computer screens
don't turn too fast, that's a dark hallway and you know nobody will hear your screams
I'm safe, I know, I got a couple of geriatric security guards keeping an eye on the place
if stuff goes down they'll race down said hallways, and find justice with a bottle or two of mace.
But wait, my current house has no hallways and that doesn't seem right
We've been tricked with "open concept", stupid realtors, who do I bite?
Downstairs you go from room to room, never thought that was too bad
But a hallway makes even that small trip seem special, now I might just get sad.
Upstairs, there's four bedrooms connected by a walkway, but the other side opens to rails
so no, don't call it a hallway or I'll kick you and your hubby in your tails.
Maybe this is what breaks the camel's back, the real reason that we move
Give me a long hallway, so my life can finally be smooth.
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