I would rather live in a house of lighthearted laughter and joy, than one of serious "respect me because I am the elder!" With Boy it was never a problem, he respected me, we would joke, but there was never much disrespect. Javalina, on the other hand, has a problem with his limits. He likes to call me house bitch because I am always hurt or hurting. This doesn't bother me as much as I have to wonder what goes on in his head that he thinks this is ok.
Mom always says I was too hard on Boy, I would beat his ass if I thought he deserved it. I don't really recall this, except for a few times which were done more for dramatic effect than to actually punish him. I always remember the one time in his room, with his best friend and me coming in with my size thirteen chancla (sandal) and I was going to spank his ass and his friend was rolling on the ground laughing. That was probably the last time, but even then, I don't recall hitting him, just flailing the sandal more to scare him. Bad or not, Boy grew up on the straight and narrow, even with a couple of knuckleheaded friends, I never worried about him drinking or getting high behind my back.
So, back to Javalina, Boy was always small, even today, he might weigh 150-160 pounds, I can't really unleash on him, I'm 400+ pounds, I would break him. Javalina seems to want me to give him a beating, to test me. He tells me stories of how his friends would absolutely get beat by their stepfathers or whoever is banging mama, that is just a hard life. I will admit, I was in my 20's with Boy and I did not know what I was doing other than trying my best. I had to really get Javalina's attention this weekend after a lot of back and forth by both of them. I asked him "If I really get going and decide to beat your ass, like a drunken fool, could you stop me? The answer is NO, Little One. You have this fantasy that you're Mr. Muscles but you weigh half what I weigh, I am still an elephant to you being a hippo. I let your mom be the disciplinarian not because she is better at kicking ass, but because I love you and don't want to hurt you. Y'all seem to think Mama is the scary one, but that is only because I am too much for either you or your brother so I let your mom lead the charge.
I don't know why he doesn't get it, every time he has tried his pushing exercises, he goes until I get tired and then I push him around to the point of making him dance with me like a rag doll. I don't know, maybe I should have spanked him more growing up?
No comments:
Post a Comment