Conversations with women can and do suck, at times. Apparently, I blew a grenade in my face Friday night, but did not feel its effects until Wife decided to pull at a piece of shrapnel five days later. Today started out like most days, I went and picked up Chubs, then killed some time so Wife could get home and we could have lunch before I go to work. In a perfect world, I would have gotten up earlier and cut the grass, but as I have mentioned, my energy is not where it was a few years ago. I say to heck with it, grass gets cut when it gets cut.
Everyone who knows her, knows Wife is very capable. "I'll cut the grass, I do it most every time." Doesn't just do it, has to throw down the gauntlet of how inept I have been since she is now doing the man's work outside. This used to be Boy's only chore, I never officially declared "Boy you are hereby free of ever cutting the grass again." He is just not around to do it when it needs to get done. Of course this has nothing to do with taking down the Halloween decorations inside, which I have been doing because when I let them do it, they just shove everything into the bins, animal style.
Anyway, my big grenade Friday night, which I had zero interest in going to in the first place was telling our old friend that she looked good, she had one of those surgeries, where they cut your stomach or whatever, and after not seeing her for 3-4 months, she looked surprisingly slimmer. What am I supposed to do? Everyone accepts me to be this pervert, of course I noticed, but that is all I said. The night was about her daughter's baby shower, which again, why did I have to go?
Fast forward to today, Wife said nothing else all weekend about the encounter, I was with her all weekend, I have not worked any OT, so I am home-bound. She just about finished cutting the front yard, I came out ready for work, dressed in my best Crocs and shorts, and she starts on about how she is the family mule, has to do everything. I stopped her in her tracks and said "no, you are the turtle in a box". This is our inside joke because Wife never wants anything new, always acts like all that mani/pedi BS is way overdone by everybody, she colors her hair at home, she doesn't need a stylist. Every time I buy her a new purse, I have to force her to keep it because we are too poor to be buying frivolous shit at the mall. So I basically summed her up as a turtle in a box because just give her a little day old lettuce and she should be happy. Not today, today apparently she was carrying a beast of burden, which I guess is all of us. Accused me of wanting a skinny bitch who would be useless around the house. I have not been doing anything new or talking to anyone new. All I do is work, and go home. Fuck these accusations, I know skinny bitches are a pain in the ass. They are nice to look at, specially if there's a big ole set of tatas, but come on Fool, after 27 years, where is my fat ass going? You think I want to impress anybody anymore?
Of course, a couple hours later, I misunderstood her position. After a woman spins out, isn't it always the man who didn't understand? Why?
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