So after all the abuse to get up here, the cold/cough I've had (thankfully, not passed to anyone else), all the traffic delays, and even more family joining the group (my brother in laws mother and daughter caught up with us), halfway into Florida. We finally went to our first park and I hurt people's feelings pretty quick. I have one goal at these parks, and that is to get people to experience as much as possible.
My wife has a different agenda, and that is to make sure everybody pees every few minutes. We had not even made it into the park, Wife is bunched around with her family in the middle of an open non shady area. I, having a brain that works, am always scanning for shade or even AC. So Wife is bunched with her family, first behind the cars taking pictures, then in the middle of the entrance to Animal Kingdon. Both with the sun beating down in all it's glory. Me and my boys were over here, twenty yards away, but in the shade.
I pulled Wife aside and suggested we go to the big ride of the park, which is the safari ride, she can barely keep her thoughts together, maybe excited, maybe nervous cause her family and my rudeness don't generally clash. As soon as everyone starts walking, they start heading away from what we had discussed. I gave a loud shudder and people scampered in the direction I thought best. My thought was it all sucks in the heat, but better wait for those open Jeeps early, then focus on the indoor A/C shows in the afternoon. It took a long time to walk all the way to the back of the park, but eventually we got on the ride. I was ready to go to the next ride, but of course, it was pee break time. I know there are bathrooms everywhere, but we walked almost back to the entrance. Some people went to pee, some waited, then some more went, then some lost time just standing around. We finally got to walking, we walked through a forest in Asia, had to stop and sit in the park. People were tired way too easily. After, I suggested to the thrill seekers to do the Mt. Everest Roller Coaster. Three people went and the rest of us got to sit and wait, for 30-40 min. Even though we sat and did nothing for cloer to 40 min, as soon as we started walking, Wife suggested another pee break. Again, pandemonium, I wouldn't have cared so much, except we were staring at the Bug's Life Show starting in 5 minutes, and no one seemed that bothered by it. I then said screw it and went into a nearby store to get in the AC and of course, Wife immediately calls looking for me. Other than saying "come on!!" and "Ass in gear!!" and doing the finger in the air indicating "wrap it up", I don't know that I did anything wrong, but at some point my mother in law was upset at me. Wife made me apologize as we were walking out, and I even added, "but you know that I'm an ass", Vicky tells y'all I loose it all the time, nothing I am doing should be a surprise to anyone. These people have known me more than 25-27 years.
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