I've been talking to people from my past over the holidays, catching up as I see old new names on Instagram or Facebook. Although I am just texting, or writing sentences, I feel like a different person. Some of these people I only had a friendly polite face with (never acted like my pervy self)and even though it has been years, I find my feeling for them is still where it left off. I guess there are some people I like and not just because they are a nice looking piece of meat, might I even have respect for some of these ladies? Hmm. I immediately felt that old Billy Joel song about looking at the stranger and the face we put on for different people.
I always feel goaded in my primary life, maybe Wife is aggressive with me because I am aggressive with her, but it is a perpetual motion machine. Adding in the pressures of being a father and always doing the right thing also adds to the stress which can make me come across as a short tempered dick, specially when I am tired from a long week at work and the last thing I want is some bitching over sweeping the kitchen or not drying shirts correctly. Wife occasionally catches me talking with people outside my daily life and wonders why I am so nice. I like to think that I am always nice, but once I am attacked I will get the last word in. I don't go into an argument unless I am going to win it, so if you start one with me, it might be awhile until we get back to feeling relaxed because I need things dissected and turned upside down before I let them go.
There is nothing wrong between Wife and I, I just noticed the lack of potential energy when talking to an outsider. Maybe we are carrying too much stress because we need a little vacation time. I meant to be off a couple days for Thanksgiving, but got caught up trying to squeeze every last nickel out of working a full week. I will take a week off for Christmas, I think I even need it. We didn't even take a week to go to Corpus this summer after I burned through three weeks healing my leg gash.
Speaking of talking to an outsider, I really need to grow my base of friends. I text Wife and I talk to my mom once a week, but only while she flips a tortilla or two, as I always seem to catch her busily raising grandkids.
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