First off, my operation went great. The worst part is getting that needle in the arm for the IV and the anesthesia. I wasn't that excited about the hospital telling me I was the first patient and to be in by 5:30am. I told the lady on the phone that the lady on the phone the day before had said 6:00am. All of a sudden she was fluid and said umm, ok, just be here between 5:30am and 6:00am.
We managed to get there by 5:40am and seemed to be the first group of people in the waiting room. I didn't even get a full minute to pee in the bathroom before they were moving us into the pre-op room. I thought "awesome" as my dad is slamming on the door to move it, cutting my pee stream like I am going to miss a rocket to the moon. This was about the only time there was a sense of rush.
A nurse came in and gave me three packages with a total of six wipes. She said to take the wipes and wipe my body down. The six wipes all had a purpose, one wipe for left arm, 2nd wipe for right arm, another wipe for left leg, and fourth for right leg. fifth wipe for front of torso, and sixth wipe for back of body torso. Wife complained that I actually benefited from being scrubbed specially in the back with wipes and "ewww".
We were done with this part by 5:50am and I called my folks back. The nurses came back now and again. They got me excited that this might happen earlier than normal, once The Doctor showed up. The administrators came and took their hospital cut before I got any scalpels near me, what other business gets to say "well, pay something today, if insurance doesn't come through, then we'll figure it out (all she forgot was "those kneecaps look mighty nice, hate for something bad to happen to them"). Finally, my big bad surgeon paraded in. It must be nice to be a surgeon/doctor and be surrounded by all the young pretty nurses. I kept seeing in the hallways different older men in scrubs, I assume, the different doctors hugging on all the nurses/techs as they waited outside my door for my surgeon. Feeling a little jelly, as the kids are saying.
He finally showed up at 8:15am, talked to us for 2-3 minutes, explaining to Wife that is was no big deal and if we have any questions. Wife asked about me showering, he just said "get like a big trash bag, keep it dry, he can figure it out. Scrubs was right, Surgeons don't have the nicest of bedside manner, but I love a confidant cocky man doing his job right. Finally, I was rolled to the OR and man, it always seems the same, big empty room, a lot of lights on a post, cold as can be, and a skinny table in the middle of the room. I scooted over settled in, and all I remember was feeling like my left arm got strapped down, my right arm kind of floating and then telling me "breath deeper", tone got more serious "Breath Deeper", "Breath Deeper!", after the fourth one I wanted to yell back "I am, fucker!", but the anesthesiologist had the tubes in her hand right by my head and I was out by fourth or fifth deep breath.
I woke up in a different room, throat dry as hell, but I couldn't even cough. My eyes were open and I could see my fingers so I started wiggling them, see that they worked. At a certain point I saw a glass of water and pointed at it, to get my throat wet. The nurse was older, not one of the many young hotties in the OR, but probably more competent. She gradually was taking stuff off of me, and then I noticed a guy also had come out of surgery, but he had 2-3 cops with him. I thought "goddammit", but what are you gonna do? I was moved to the next room, but 5 minutes later he was in there too, now right next to me, only a curtain and 4-5 cops separating us. It pissed me off a tiny bit that my nurse said I could get 1-2 persons back here in recovery to sit with me, meanwhile Joe Criminal had the 4-5 cops at his full attention, but I understand.
My Wife came back, the nurse loved her for some reason, they instantly bonded, the nurse said she had been working there at Brackenridge Hospital since 1972, I didn't do the math just then, but that lady did not look older, Brackenridge must have a policy of hiring the good looking, or maybe the drugs were still in effect. Hmm, even the orderly with the neck tattoo that wheeled me out was good looking, like he was on TV pretending to be tough, so maybe it was the meds... anyways.
I spent the rest of the day in and out of sleep. I started writing this at 9:30pm, fell asleep, it is now 3:30am and everyone is out, I bet Chubs is still awake, that Boy loves the night life, he loves to boogie. He wanted to "converse" with the Easter Bunny about him getting him a Nintendo Switch. I guess when you want to talk on the phone with those guys, it's time to come clean. I blame Boy, he got one, and even if it is just sitting there, he won't let Chubs borrow it, even though that is the best feature is that it has it's own screen and it is portable. I love that it is a long weekend and I have my peeps here with me. Even my folks are here, although they aren't planning on staying through Easter Sunday, I still have them for a couple days. Wife is here through two weekends, I love that.
No comments:
Post a Comment