1/29/16 Attack Of The Mexican Candy?

    Boy seems to hurt himself on purpose, sometimes.  He does not abuse alcohol, but still finds ways to hurt his body, almost like he refuses to think.  This past weekend he took it upon himself to take the whole weekend off from work, first of all.  We kind of didn't realize he had done that, but it was the first week of school, so we said it was ok.  Friday night, his crew and him actually joined us in going to San Marcos to eat at Fuego's and drop off Chubs for his sleepover at his cousins in San Antonio.  I like that Boy hangs out with us, but I did tell them, I can't be paying for everyone's meals, it's just too many of y'all.  Wife had a mini van which she rented for her field trip Saturday, and she insisted on taking it.  I was a bit bothered because while she was at work, me and Chubs had gotten my truck washed, and I even gave it a wax before she got home, knowing we were going to see her family, I wanted my truck to shine.  Oh well, it just sat in the driveway, all shiny and nowhere to go,
    Saturday, Wife was busy all day, and she finally got home around six.  She was being hella aggressive for me to wake up and get going and she was also complaining her phone wouldn't charge.  She also happened to mention that Boy was already in San Antonio, they wanted to make sure and go to a store specializing in Mexican Candy.  At this point, all I heard was Boy is in San Antonio, I told Wife "we just saw your whole family yesterday, get Boy to bring Chubs home, we can deal with getting you a new phone while we wait."  She hesitated for a minute, but not having a phone was a bigger concern, so we texted Boy and after a lot of ummm and uhhhh, I finally talked to him and I told him to tell me "I will bring Chubs back to Austin."  I didn't want any confusion to happen, as he is good at acting dumb when necessary.
    He brought back Chubs fine, we waited at the house, with some of our friends after they found out we weren't going anywhere.  When they got home, Boy, I shall call him DumDum the rest of this story, had his Yeti full of an assortment of Mexican Candy.  He had a container that weighed five pounds of "tamarindo", and the rest of the stuff was easily worse for you.  There was a jar of pickled pickles in a spicier vinegar concoction you could smell as soon as he opened the jar five feet away.  All sorts of gummy candy swimming in red chile powders and even a green almost neon colored one.  DumDum has periodically had problems with his stomach throughout the years.  One time, he ate a ramen noodles cup at our neighbor and his head swelled to the size of a basketball, at least once a year we go to the ER because he is "dying" of some pain.  He overdosed on Monster sodas one night, drinking about eight of them.  We then had to sit through his crying as he crashed from his caffeine high.
    He left Sunday night to school, talking about "I have candy for the rest of the school year, I told him "don't be dumb", not realizing DumDum needs things explained better than that.  Tuesday night he calls that he needs to go to the ER, he probably has gout (self diagnosis) and his fingers and toes are swelled.  Wife told him to take Benadryl, stop eating the stupid candy, and to just go to bed.  Wednesday he shows up during the day and wakes me.  "Mama needs to take me to the Minute Clinic at least."  He was demanding.  He told me about all the swelling, I said "let me see".  He said it was all gone, but he did feel like he was wearing a diaper, his legs were swelled.  I said "let's see".  He pulls his pants down, my arms are thicker than his legs, I didn't see any red patches or skin irritation, or anything abnormal.  We went and picked up Chubs, told him to get something simple, like a burger and fries, nope!!! DumDum has to get a salad with all sorts of this and that, then after he finished eating he is showing me his fingers are swelling up.  I am a swelled up fat-ass, Chubs is a stocky boy with thick hands, looking at his "swelled up fingers", I see Skeletors hands, just skin and bones.  He says look at how red they are, my hands are redder.  I am touching them, they aren't hot or anything.
    Eventually Wife takes DumDum to the clinic, and guess what she told him?  Stop eating the crap from the third world country.  She didn't use those words, but she did say it might have MSG or something else that has given you hives.  I guess it takes a few times to let the really good lessons sink in.