I grew up a competitive kid, everything seems like, when we were growing up set up around competing. I never thought of this as stressful, I thought you belong on top, prove it. With most things, I did usually end up near the top. As early as fifth grade, I was interested in band, and we started with the recorders in middle school. I remember always sitting within the first three chairs pretty much all the time. What was great about band back then is you could compete for your spot, and it was a normal thing. I was always good enough to join the jazz band, as well as sit on the symphonic band, which the marching band was composed of over one hundred students, so in the off season, we were broken into symphonic and concert bands. All this band stuff while also competing with the nerds and managing to stay in the top ten of my class.
My point to all this grandstanding is that I never thought of any of this as stressful. I did what I felt had to be done. When I was competing and went to state, I was practicing 3-4 hours a day after school, just me and my saxophone. I would sit with the different band directors and they would coach and give nuances, and then it would be up to me to go and perfect whatever tiny thing they suggested, whether it be rolling a finger off a key versus just pulling it up, or extending a breath to allow a part of a passage to sound more fluid.
All that discipline went with me to UT. I would never claim to be the smartest person in any classroom, but nobody was going to work the problems over and over like I did, until I understood them. It was my routine to work all the problems at the back of my math chapters, the only way to know something is to apply it to death. This has served me well. I don't take shortcuts, it may suck, but even when my boys ask for help on a math problem, I have to break it down and work it completely.
There is a new trend of not stressing the children of today, why? If they don't challenge themselves past their comfort levels, how are they going to become better? The brain, like any muscle, must be worked to be made stronger. What favors are being done to a child who takes it easy, is never pushed? This seems like the perfect recipe to create a slacker, not a leader, or a role model. I see all around me, parents that want to be BFFs with their kids, parents who want to protect their kids from anything that might worry them. A kid needs to be kicked in the ass once in a while, just so he realizes what real life is about. Taking the path of I'll be buddies with my kids, leads to kids who walk all over mama, again much easier without daddy around. That may work internally at home, but out in the real world, nbody wants your whiny son/daughter who wants to work only 3 days a week, they will end up bouncing from job to job, wondering why the "boss" never like them. The other end of that spectrum is the parents who won't even let mijo/mija get a sun burn. They'll run around with the kid holding an umbrella over them, for protection. Nevermind dealing with outside stressors, daddy will handle it with money. Daddy might be special, but why should his kids be anything unique when they never rise to challenge reality on their own. I tell both my boys, I am not your friend, and the choices you make today are setting up how you will live tomorrow. They both know I love them, but they also know I expect them to be positive contributors to our crumbling society.
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