This is kind of a weird point, but I was trying to relate to a kid from a friend of ours who got busted smoking weed. First of all, I have never put a weed "cigarette" or whatever to my mouth, but I have been in concerts and other venues where the smoke was thick with the smell.
I should rewind even farther to about 6th or 7th grade, maybe younger. We used to live where our house was surrounded by four lots that were empty, then gradually people bought them and built their houses. But while all that was going on, we played in the tall grass, no internet, but there were kids all the way at the end of the street, behind us, a few lots over and around the way. I always remember this moment as being very serious, I am not even sure who was in charge, but one afternoon we found ourselves with a small hollow metal pipe, like the rear axle of a three wheeler, and of course we were surrounded by grass that just grew taller than us. I remember taking this regular tall grass, breaking it down with our hands, and we were trying to smoke it. We would fill the pipe with grass and just light it. All we got was lungs full of smoke, it did not work well, and I think one try was all we needed to learn how stupid that was.
Another curious remembrance just forming now, was when we would have BBQs or just sitting outside, my dad would let us turn on a cigarette for him from time to time, there was something there, when you inhaled, it was enticing to keep doing it, like it whispered to you to do it again. Cigarettes always scared me, I don't know if it was because my mom was always saying how disgusting, or the whole "you'll die of lung cancer". Luckily, I guess, my dad's father, did die of emphysema, so it was easy to point to what happens when you smoke, you don't live long enough to meet your grandkids, as we figured.
Nowadays, it is just economics. There is no way in hell I am buying a pack of cigarettes for $7-8 and you only get twenty. My dad smokes two packs a day, and when he runs out, he is a shitty little old man. When they come and visit, I don't know how he runs out (between the two knuckleheads), he always seems surprised he ran out, and like a modern day hero, won't say anything, except eventually he explodes, usually while we are eating, because he needs his fix. I've told my mom for about the last ten years to just carry an "emergency" stash, but I guess after 40 plus years, they like the dance that they do.
I am not sure how I avoided not smoking. I even tried to be Mr. Cool, I went and bought cigars when everyone on TV was smoking them, think Sopranos era. I bought small ones and huge fat ones. Cheap ones for $5 to expensive (to me) at $15 a cigar, wrapped in its own insulating case to keep humidity just right. We had a party, maybe it was for my birthday or a fourth of July, I couldn't do it. First off, you have to commit your mouth, this felt like what sticking a penis in my mouth would feel like. Then you also have to suck with some energy to move that fire through and keep that thing lit. I couldn't do it, some of those cigars are still in my makeshift humidor.
I guess I am safe, even when I have tried to force a nicotine addiction, on myself, I am too cheap to do it. As far as the weed goes, I guess when people see you as a "square", they never offer it to you. I have never been offered it, except for my old neighbor who liked to joke that he was gonna get me high one day. Well, my egg brain from the commercial analogy is cooked at this point, in my mid 40's, I don't think one round of puff-puff, pass would hurt, but at this point what would be the gain? I guess once a dork, always a dork.
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