I think crying defines us as humans, in some respect. There is no greater display to a reaction than to loose our composure and let our base inner feelings take over if for a second or two. I was made fun of most of my young life, I was the kid who could be made to cry in school easily. It wasn't that I was a dainty fella who couldn't take care of myself, my brother and I were kind of the husky kids who spent our youth playing with all sorts of neighbor kids and dominating them whether at football in the backyard or "war" with shingle pieces (if you break roofing shingles into 4-5 inch square pieces and throw them like ninja stars, they will destroy shit). We luckily still have both parents around, so I wasn't missing attention or love at home. I was always I guess a "hot head" with no ability to release because we were taught not to fight in public, and that has worked well, as I have never been in any kind of trouble with the law. The drawback to that is that when emotions boil over I end up crying.
I don't loose my feelings too much nowadays, but certain scenes in movies will do it. I notice that in the play Hamilton I cry in about 4-5 scenes, even if I am just listening to the music. I guess it is part of being empathetic with the characters. Hamilton looses a kid, which is always a parent's greatest fear, and they squeeze a lot of emotion out of that, and also in Eliza's voice as she sings for Hamilton and wanting him so much for herself when it is clear he is a man on a mission for our country pretty much all his life.
All this, to set the tone. It was a complicated feeling of despair last night after the loss to Navarro. We were all driven to the edge of our seats only to see our boys loose in the final minute of the game when they failed to get that last yard in literally four tries. We saw the QB fall into a heap on the sidelines and cry with probably other seniors, and we felt it with him. We then waited for our son to ride with us. They have a big huddle with the coaches after all games, then he walked over to the field house to grab his stuff. When he got in the car, he had a moment when he lost it and he had a good cry. It was powerful and yet we felt powerless because it is something he has to go through. We gave him a few minutes of silence, he was sitting in the back, we couldn't hug him, we were in traffic
Five minutes later, he was almost apologizing, I don't think I have ever seen this kid crying, I have gotten mad at him for not showing more emotion in other instances. Other than when he was a baby or younger and crying because he was hungry or something, Baby A has always been very stoic which I am sure comes from his mother and her father because they are not quick to show reactions, unlike myself. We explained that it was a good sign, that it shows how much you care and that you gave it all you had. What else can you ask of a person than to give anything you do 100% of yourself. Ultimately, you don't win all your encounters, but giving it all you can is the best we can do. Learning to do this in everything you commit yourself to is what you learn from competing like this in youth sports, and I think that is the ultimate learning experience.
This just reminded me of the song "Loser" by Garfunkel and Oates. The song shows different people losing at sports, work, and even dating. The ultimate message of the song is keep your head up, it is much better to be out there in life taking a chance and even if you lose, you are better for it. The other option is to be someone who watches from the sidelines, a non-entity who never competed. In life, better to be a loser than a spectator who never tried. It says in the lyrics:
People can't stand genius without an apology
Forget that, forget them, go get what you wanna get
Let them stay at home and comment on the internet
You're a loser, but a dreamer
You're tired, but you're strong
You're going on no evidence
You don't listen to common sense
You went all in, and you were wrong
You are such a loser
Good for you
It's something that a lot of people can't do
Trying is hard, that's why people don't do it
Losing is hard, they can't make it through it
But not you
You are such a loser
You are such a loser
Here's to you
'Cause you deserve a cheering section too
You can only fall that far
'Cause you set yourself up so high
Who really cares if this time it didn't fly?
At least you tried
At least you tried
At least you're not that guy watching from the side
Who thinks he's doing better 'cause he wasn't defeated
When he's just a non-entity who never competed
You're the one who's out there reaching for something greater
And you know
It's better to be a loser
Than a spectator
And you are such a loser
You are such a loser
So here's to you
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