This is something else I was thinking when I was tossing around idea of success. Who gets to be happy? I have thought and believe it is much easier to be a little dense to enjoy life. I think the dim bulb people don't worry about stuff that keeps some of us awake at night, so if they are incapable of worrying about certain things, they are more open to enjoy life as it seems.
Is there a difference between life as it seems and life as it is? In your youth, if you are not worrying about your future and going to school, life can be a ball. I see some knuckleheads going to concerts every weekend, always enjoying things and activities downtown. Essentially, they are the grasshopper in the spring and fall, nothing but a good time, forever, or so they think. I feel like the ant in one of Aesop's Fables, always slaving away, never really getting away from work, especially lately. I have a great job, I guess at this point maybe I could call it a career, but that carries the whole matter of I can't fuck it up. I can't get drunk on a weekday, or decide I am going to stay in bed all day. Shit, I got the opportunity to train in a new department and now I find myself back to working Friday nights. I did that for about fifteen years, I thought I had done that enough, but those that seek opportunities to advance sometimes sacrifice greatly for the future. Should I be happy right about now, 46 and back to working a weekend shift? It is temporary, probably for a month or two, but still, I hate it.
A friend was telling me of his father in law and how he spent all his life making tons of money, when he finally stopped and decided it was time to enjoy life, it was too late. He got sick, became an invalid and passed away before he could enjoy even one boat cruise. I don't want to be that guy, even if he had two houses, and provided well for his family. Is it fair? The flip side of that, is that the people that are partying all the time, enjoying friends and dinners during the week, don't have shit to their name. Grown ass adults shouldn't be renting apartments, or does it matter? I kind of hate that they are making section 8 housing nicer and nicer and in the better parts of the city. Why strive to get out if you got it that good, and you can pay a tiny percentage of the true rent?
Part of the happiness issue of course is having Wife out of town. I was working Friday, so even though she showed up, the evening didn't count for much. I got home and we got down to business and then we stayed up talking until about 10am. It was great, but then I didn't want to get up, even at two in the afternoon. I have to hope for success and happiness will eventually feel like they are supposed to when Wife comes back, hopefully to an even higher paying job than she has right now, and also I'll be of more value to my company, because after twenty years, I doubt I'm going to go looking for a new start. Maybe even come to days or work a more normal schedule so I can enjoy dinners with my family and maybe friends.... someday.... maybe.
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