We went home to visit my folks a couple days ago. It was fine, same old thing it seems, each time. Is that what we are supposed to do? Just tell the same stories, be the same people we always were. Eat the same hamburgers we always eat. I don't mind my role, I was the oldest, the one that helped out my mom the most, so any old story of me, usually has a spin of me looking good.
Is it possible to move some bricks though, make the memories we access more real, more vivid. I like to use deductive reasoning in conversation. If you say I like going down to the lake and swimming, but I don't take a bathing suit. Ok, you either like swimming naked or you swim in your pants, if you then say I prefer going to the lake at night, ok, you probably enjoy swimming naked by the moonlight, cool beans. It is not fair to then say No. There is a friend's house and I borrow a bathing suit and we swim in their pool. What the hell, then don't mention all the other crap that has nothing to do with nothing.
If I tell you prom night, my girlfriend and I went over to the next town and rented a hotel room. My next sentence is not going to be "don't you dare assume we did anything more than a PG rating in that room. I married that chick, we are in our 40's, we did what you do in a hotel room at 18. At this point, I have nothing to be embarrassed about, all good times. We left some half empty containers of whipped cream in the sink, or maybe that was another time.
Everything starts building this solemn attitude to the point that nothing can be made fun of. At a certain point I felt like I should just put on my funeral suit and be serious. Somebody's bound to die any day now, the way everyone walks around looking injured and/or offended. Then somebody always says, "you wouldn't consider coming back?" In full seriousness, like I am failing out here on my own. Our home mortgage is kicking our ass at the moment, yes, but I don't even see it as that big of a deal. We have our original home, which we could always sell and currently, we would make a tidy profit from it. But my thoughts are still to leave a few homes to our sons to help them make extra income from or if need be, they could live in them. We also own a piece of land out by Lake Canyon, and hopefully someday we build it up with a vacation cabin. I am not leaving all this to go live in my hometown of 8000-9000 people in the middle of nowhere. Plus I hate other people's kids, why would I want to teach? Working in the oil fields would be great, but I am currently sitting in a room with A/C, sipping coffee and eating pumpkin pie, listening to music from Youtube, contemplating watching a movie on Netflix, ooh, let me go to pee real quick, and I don't mean next to a cactus, in a private bathroom down the hall. I've been here 19 years, they'll need to fire me to make me leave. This place is the cat's pajamas and the bee's knees all rolled into one.
Sorry peeps, but if you're going to involve me, I need it real. We don't live in a fairy tale book where everybody lives happily ever after. We argue, we fight, sometimes we call each other idiots and assholes, but it's all in the beauty of making life. I guess I'll keep visiting the museum, I'll just be mindful of the hours and house rules, those curators are a persnickety bunch.
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