12/8/14 Psst, Can You Keep A Secret?

Tis time for the truth and clear my soul

You may not believe it, but this story does not have even one hole.

I am not the same as you or even she

I was born in the mighty blue sea.

I am three hundred and three years old

many a lifetimes I have seen unfold.

For I was here underwater, I am the last of my kind,

I am a Merman, please my life, let me rewind.

I was born back when witches cast spells,

my kind were used for our pores had strange smells.

I was to guard where now the Colorado River and the Gulf meet

but there is so much one half fish can do, and soon tasted defeat.

I held my position for nearly a century

but as most things do, it was all over in a hurry.

Wounded and left to die, I met a good witch

she healed me, legs grew and all I could say was "son of a bitch".

I settled in Corpus Christi, back when it was groovy

and soon was cast in a role, which at the time seemed for me.

People wanted to swim, but the oceans were full of sharks

crews were hired to dispose of them, to make beaches feel like parks.

I would destroy sharks, some days by the bunches

with what you say? well meet Pancho and Lefty, my punches.

I would rip out gills and suck out eyes from their sockets,

some I kept for good luck in my pockets.

Eventually, the tide did turn, turns out sharks got a publicist and now they're good.

I wouldn't trust one though, not in their hood.

I retired from the hunting, disappeared to a small town,

I pleaded with that witch to let me be normal and she shrunk me down.

The rest is normal stuff, that would surely bore you to death

but trust me enough, for I never talk to waste my breath.

 

 

This is for my younger son, who asks about my youth, and this is the story we've come up with when we go to Corpus Christi on vacation.  No sharks were harmed in the making of this story.  Can't say the same for the Mermen involved.  :)