Santa, you are so much more than a belly full of jelly and a sled full of toys. I believe in you because you bring hope and marvel to our innocent youth. You brighten what would surely be the glummest season of the year. Think instead of no twinkling lights down any random street, just cold and muddy sidewalks and streets, nothing to look forward to but January and an eventual freeze or two, at least for us in Texas. Your shiny lights give us a rally point to get together with family, dare I say, you even force a little holiday cheer at our shopping destinations, and what's more American than consumption of material goods.
I understand when old assholes insist there is no Santa, they pissed on their opportunity to brighten people's lives back when they had hope, when their kids wanted to experience magic. Now all they have to look forward to is their cold sad reality, bravo to you for destroying your kids' possibility, good riddance to those who have to piss on everything merry and joyous. One quick way to turn your frown upside down, is realize, you don't matter, do what you can for your kids. I know we all can't afford to go crazy, but something that tells them you care. Maybe a nice quality knife for an older kid, maybe just a new pant or shirt, if that's where you are at. Kids are kinda dumb, they are easy to please, they mostly want your attention, so get that stick out of your behind and come down to their level.
There's people with kids, in my own neighborhood, I hear you, sons of bitches, complaining because we celebrate the holidays. Big deal, we put up a couple lights for Halloween, we give candies until any and all kids get their fill, who cares if you're 18 and making one last run at your youth, it's harmless fun. Who cares if it's after the dreaded 9:00pm curfew? Better the kids taking some candies and giggling than egging my house, I always say.
Both my wife and I work full time, rare is the week I work less than 50 hours, same with my wife, adding in her commute time. But we make the effort, we consider it fun. I will take down the Halloween lights and start right up with Christmas. If there were lights to celebrate Thanksgiving, we would probably do that too, we're fat asses, we love to eat. I swear to anybody who asks, I am not putting up the lights to rain on your parade. Maybe you're allergic to red, green, and blue light combos, I don't know. But since I'm paying my mortgage and not rattling a cup for your assistance, why don't you mind your own beeswax?
My son is getting crap in school, now in fourth grade, bratty kids barely mastered the art of wiping their asses, they know it all, they all tell my son, Santa is fake, he doesn't exist. My son wants to believe. I am surprised the older boy doesn't poop on him too, but we've always said, start talking crap that Santa doesn't exist and the gifts go bye-bye.
I feel sad for the households that never experienced Santa, never got to wake up early and come down and see what magically somehow, some way just poof, showed up. I've played Santa for others when I could, like I said, doesn't take much, kids need to know we care about them. You could say I am being materialistic, and sure, I am, but isn't that the kind of country we live in, 'merica! Fuck Yeah!! And some of you are thinking but Jesus.... yeah yeah yeah, died on the cross, miracle miracle, but so depressing. I grew up going to that midnight mass, and all that catholic business. If you're going to believe a miracle, I say choose Santa, travels a million miles in one night, nobody dies, everyone is happy, for the price of a cookie.
So here's to you Santa, we'll watch the Christmas movies, we'll eat the Christmas candy, hell, I'll go shopping Christmas Eve, if it means the possibility of hearing your sleigh bells ringing as you dash through our neighborhood. I know my kids have been good and you will deliver a bounty for them. Merry Christmas Y'all!!!!
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