Your next step in this lifelong pursuit is to clean up your act. That's right, Boy, get a haircut. Nobody likes a hippie with a pp junking shit up. Just kidding, but not really. After graduation from UT in 1994, with my older boy just being born in March, I tried getting a job with my college hairstyle. I was rocking a full mullet, flattop buzzcut in front, long to my ass in the back. Like Frankenstein with long hair in the back, personality wasn't far off either. Anyways, I tried all the places that might want a new chemist, other than schools, I never wanted to teach, even though I did a pretty good job of teaching a tutorial algebra class that I did through my junior college years.
My mom kept insisting it was the hair, nobody was going to take me seriously with that haircut. Begrudgingly, I cut my hair and promptly got a job at a warehouse, which I was promoted to warehouse manager within the week. Maybe the haircut helped, I don't know, but I figured it didn't hurt. Since then, I just buy new clippers every couple years and I cut my own hair, every two or three weeks. Takes me about 30 minutes, including a shave. I don't have to plan a trip to barber, stylist, and I fit it in on my schedule. I highly recommend it.
Another thing, shower every day boys. Come on, you know you start stinking after a few hours, don't give yourself away as a disgusting animal. Oh, you think playing a little bball then changing your shirt is enough. You have man balls, don't you? You have man smell coming from them. Mommy ain't gonna dap with a little baby powder and say how cute my little man's wee-wee. No a-hole, you smell, wash your balls with soap.
Once you've managed a haircut, and a shower, dress it up. Learn to run the washer, keep your own clothes washed, does mommy still wipe your butt too? Keep your clothes washed, iron your dress shirts, it's not for you, it's for the ladies. It's a hassle, but at least your not dealing with maxi pads and bleeding all over the place.
Finally, keep a couple different shoes in rotation. Don't stick to that one pair, believe me that pair of Jordans does NOT make you a better basketball player, just makes Michael Jordan richer. Thanks to all of you, he is worth nearly a billion dollars, Tools. Try some boots, to look useful, tennis shoes are fine, but not every day. Get some dress shoes, you will have interviews, dates, don't be afraid to look older, you can't sip juice boxes all your life. I would say a nice black pair of shoes, but brown are good too, eventually, you will get the other color, unless the plan is to stay in the minimum wage path all your life.
Carry yourself with purpose, and show some respect. First impressions are a mother f'er. If your buddy got you an interview, make him look good by showing up on time, clean and ready to rock. If you mess it up, you make you look bad, your friend look bad, your mama look bad, your dad look bad, I mean why did you bother getting the interview? Show up alert and prepared.
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