Today is Monday after Thanksgiving Weekend. The weekend was great, didn't do much, but I didn't work for four nights (I am a night shifter), and I lounged around with my wife and boys. Back to the grind of the same old same old. I find myself bored, I will do exactly the same thing, get up around noon, shit, shower, maybe get a load in washer, pick up my boy at 2:45, go eat fast food somewhere here by the house, wait for wife to get the boy while we do his homework, then go in to work until my lunch break, come home for lunch, go back, then work until 6:00am. Sleep, repeat.
I have a good job, I shouldn't complain, and I'm not complaining about that, just the routine we all seem to live. I get myself distracted by looking at Craigslist personal ads, I don't know why, been looking through them for three-four years now, so it's not like ooh, I'm gonna do something bad. I just find them interesting, most people seem to be looking for a 420 connection and I have zero interest in that, then a large portion are lonely people who are bored by the relationships they are in. And finally, the rest are fake. There might be some real ones, but I'll not take any chances. After all, we're talking about monotony.
I know monotony is good for kids, I grew up with both parents as did my wife and my kids will too. I see what happens to kids when both parents aren't there, as my four examples yesterday. Those kids are making decisions by themselves that maybe should be bounced off an experienced adult, but said adult is not in the picture. My boys, on the other hand, still have us as a safety net. My oldest has a job, he works on the weekends, and with his money he has been able to build a high end personal computer, built a costume from scratch for the renaissance festival, and gone to a couple expensive dinners with friends at restaurants I wouldn't care to pay for. Currently, they are even planning a trip to Disney World for next summer. This is all born from having us to support him with room and board (and vehicle). I figure as long as he helps a little with his books, and gas money, he is doing alright.
If I couldn't sustain the monotony, maybe he would have to grow up faster, live a more responsible life, and not be so frivolous with his money. So in exchange of me not being bored, my son would have to lose his youth? I couldn't live with myself, that would just make me an asshole, and I would hate to look at that guy in the mirror.
What I need is a project, I had one, but it fell apart, it got too unwieldy and left me feeling exhausted. There is only so much you can do for/with some people before you have to pull back and let them live by their own decisions. Maybe I should try to build a plane like my neighbor has been doing, mechanical contraptions don't snap back with "I know". This feeling will pass, always does. Just have to wait for the next big thing.
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