Funerals are amongst the worst events we endure as humans because they are an end point which change the future for those who survive it and yet, there is no getting around them, we will all eventually get there. Maybe that is the scary part, we all know we will someday no longer be alive but as long as we stay busy in our routines, it seems we are shunning the end, maybe Death forgets we are here and might live forever. Being witness to a funeral reminds us much too clearly that it is but a matter of time before it is our turn.
When I heard about this most recent death in the family, I first wanted to avoid calling and sending my condolences, if I could just hide it wouldn't affect me, but that is the mindset of an immature child, as adults, we must face what life gives us. My second excuse I wanted to hide behind was "well, I can't miss work, I'll just say I am too busy and can't afford to miss, I have already missed too much work, they'll understand. Maybe they will, but what does that say about you? It sucks but this is one of the things we must do for family, be there for each other. We sometimes live far apart and seem to have different lives going on, but when an event like this happens, we must all find our center and stand with our family and loved ones, these are the people that truly care and love us and in no other time do they want more support than in these tragic times.
Once we accept the finality of the event, it just becomes a window of time for those far enough, weather it and come out the other side knowing you did the right thing by being there, reminding those most affected by the death that they are still loved and needed by the rest of the survivors. I mostly felt I needed to be there to tell my sister and brother in law that I loved them and we are here if they might need anything in support.
I know we could have just missed this, but it is a sign of good people to show up for each other, no matter the inconvenience. I don't think we changed anything in the big picture, the funeral was my sister's mother in law, a good loving mother and grandmother who left behind quite a large family. There was plenty of support and love just from the immediate family that came together, but I know even if my sister didn't get a chance to say anything this time around, she knows we love her and we were here at the ready had she needed us for anything.
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