As I initiated yesterday, there is a slight difference between control and supervision of the young and impressionable, if that is what my boys and their menagerie of friends are. Sweetie asked if I carried a burden of anxiety because I tended to place the worry of others on my shoulders? I say no. I do notice a lot of things that need improving, and I can suggest better ways to go through life, but ultimately, everyone does what they want. I told her, I can suggest it is a bad idea for you to go jogging at night, but if you insist in doing it, and you get assaulted or worse, it is on you. I won't feel anxiety or guilt if I have spoken my mind, I have done what I can.
This is the same with the dog, if DD wants to keep it penned up 20 hours a day, don't be surprised when your dog only lives 4-5 years instead of 13-15 years, it is on you, the owner. I don't feel I carry anxiety, it has never been a thing for me as far as parenting. I do the best that I can, same when Girlie was here, and because she was a girl, I worried about her going out and partying late. I could give counsel, but it's not like people listen, so I would say my two cents and then if anything ever happened, well, I tried, sorry.
I then replayed the conversation with Wife and we both agreed this is not about control, it is about parenting. Most parents don't step into outsider's lives like we do because we keep letting people live with us. If mom had an extra room and had taken in my friends growing up, she would have given counsel and her two cents on things as they came up, it's what good parents do. Some like to say don't get involved and that is easy and since most people never let other people into their lives, it is easy to do, but when we bought a 5 bedroom house with only two kids, I kind of expected to be the kind of people that would always have other people coming in and out of our lives.
We have had all sorts of people live with us for periods of time. From my brothers to Wife's sister and best friend to several of Boy's friends and we have always stepped into their lives, it is just what we do. I never even thought of anxiety being a part of life. I do what I do and I move along. Being as busy as we usually are, I think we settle into accepting that we do the best that we can. I try and do the best I can for all these other people that come into my life, but I am not responsible for them, now if Boy or Javalina turn into shitheads and a waste of oxygen, then I might get anxiety realizing that all my energy put into them was a waste of time, but so far, I am proud of what my boys are becoming so I hold my head up high.
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