Thursday, July 20, 2017

7/20/17 My Mighty Mite Army?

    Perhaps I am inspired by all the superhero movies, be that as it may, I am going to let you in on yet another secret.  Back in college and before Wife, I created life, by myself.  It's the whole reason I wanted to study chemistry.  I wanted to be like the greats, Dr. Frankenstein, or maybe even Dr. Hammond creator of the Jurassic Parks.  Instead of starting with dead material, I thought it would be easier with stuff that is already alive, seems like you are halfway there.
    Just like in the movies where the creator pours all of his abilities into his creation, I too, poured all of my "creations" into my capabilities and considering myself halfway there, I proceeded to add a solution capable of sustaining life with its high nutritional value, patent pending, and I developed my own warming oven from an old toaster to keep my creation at a warm 98.6 degrees.  It took me longer than I wanted, but in the end, if you reach your goals, does time really matter?  I kept them hidden, I was unsure how society would treat a new entity.  They were not quite human, not quite plants, but they did like sitting in soft earth and connecting to the ground with a root like appendage.
    I actually created five different clans with five different secretions.  I have studied these things more than you, trust me on this.  They say we have millions upon millions of sperm every time we "produce", but they are mostly jackasses moving the best ones forward in a pocket of protection and motion.  When you slow them down, you can see that only about 1% are perfect to create life.  I think with all the pollution on the planet, more and more sperm are "making contact" and thus why the planet seems to be getting full of stupid people, they come from the stupid sperm, but I digress.
    This 1% is what ended up becoming self sustaining, and even able to understand rudimentary commands.  As to what they looked like, think sea monkeys but approaching two inches.  In the beginning I kept them in an aquarium, but slowly and gently I released them into the wild.  That is the whole reason I needed a boat, they were getting a little out of control, and I figured if I put them out, either the elements would take care of them, or they would be discovered as a new species of animal.  Either way, I decided to put my beakers and Erlenmeyer flasks away where it came to creating.  What I do now is still "chemistry", but it in no way compares.  I miss those little guys every now and then.

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