1/23/15 January Kinda Sucks? (poem)

I know many months, but you are the worst

you're creepy, you're cold, you're dreary, you're cursed.

What was December with Christmas, New Year's Eve, toys and joy

You're just cold and all the bills show up, just to annoy.

Why can't you be like July, with the grill, smelling of meat

no, it's too cold, freaking tamales, bout the only thing left to reheat.

I long for March, a week off from school, a little break

not you, you're a jerk with cold weather and heartache.

You want to think you're better than May?

Incorrect! May has the end of school, even a Mexican holiday

How about August, with its miserable summer heat,

are you kidding?  There's the beach, and my birthday and that is just a treat.

No, you suck, roads always wet and dirty

everyone wears jackets and coats, how can one even attempt to get flirty.

How about the after Christmas specials and all the sales

Suck it, I've maxed all my credit cards even the new one from Zales.

Apparently everyone gets it on in April, cause there's birthdays galore

phooey, I've seen both families too much, I'll act like I'm poor.

There is one thing you can't complain about and that is the Super Bowl game

except that the 2nd largest day for US food consumption now gives February fame.

Well boo-hoo to you, it's only 31 days, work on losing some weight,

that's right January calls you out for being a holiday piggy,

I think that's why you hate me and that's why you pissy.
Nah Fatboy, you ate everything in site and laid on your ass
you think January is gonna let you talk and give you a pass?
Not me, now get yourself in the gym
before you get the diabetes and lose a limb.
You said it yourself, nothing else to do
quit faking it with the sickness, you don't have the flu!
If you gonna be naked in the hottub with all the ladies like you like to dream
best work on those man titties, come on, January is the perfect time to start on that scheme.