Sounds cliche, but it was a dark and stormy night. We were expecting ice and drizzle throughout the night and my wife was a pain for the last three days about Boy driving in the morning. I wasn't too concerned because the forecast called for lows in the 30's. It has to be below about 28 before actual ice on roads is a problem, although blah blah blah, it could always happen. I know all you professional mamas are out there thinking I suck and "poor Mijo."
Not the point, anyway. We got off our schedule yesterday afternon, again Boy wanted to go to Book People, and I had promised myself I would buy that Dorian Grey book. We went and it was fine, but expensive. Chubs threw a fit, wanted a $20 Pokemon book, we said no. Told him we'd stop at Half Price Books and he could get a previously handled smelly used book for half price, I love me a bargain. He did, but now we didn't eat our afterschool snack until almost 6pm. We ate Culver's, they have a perfect little patty melt and their fries are pretty good.
Another couple stops at Best Buy for a flash card, we're gonna upload the hundreds of photos we've been taking on our cameras and make printed copies, cause we're old school. Finally, a stop at Bath and Body Works, cause my wife had a coupon.
We tried watching a movie, but got distracted, ended up watching some DVR recorded half hour shows, and of course Wife cooked some pizzas from freezer around 10pm, because we cannot accept dinner at 6pm. I should've said no.
I fell asleep kinda watching a movie with maybe Vin Diesel in a cabin, living with a two headed wolf that was too big to be natural, and it had pups and people were interested in buying them as pets, like it was a normal thing. Before I knew it, I was in the action, we were in a car, speeding away from a scene, sliding into his hideaway garage, or something to that effect. I knew this was dream-y, so it didn't bother me, but next I was in the theater almost like the one back home, with torn and missing seats. But it was much grander, ceiling was 30-40ft high, and the walls were just painted black, everything was designed to be dark and scary.
I didn't like it, but Wife wanted to see the new movie style, apparently, they scare the crap out of you, by fake killing someone in the audience, too much for my delicate sensibilities. I saw the fake zombies start approaching from the sides, told my wife, "let's go", and made the sign with my finger in the air in a circle, indicating time to go. She wanted to see what happens next, I decided I needed to pee. I couldn't find an escape, this building was obviously not OSHA approved. I walked along with my hands along the walls, trying to find a lock to release a door. I finally found one, but I wasn't sure which was better, room filled with excited teenagers waiting for a fake murder or scary dark hallway in an old building, not a lit EXIT sign anywhere to be seen.
I kept dragging my hands along the walls, something I don't like doing, but I was looking for a light switch, a door, something. Evntually I found a pack of worker girl zombies, in costumes, they had nice voices, and one promptly pointed me to a dressing room with a bathroom. Even in this room, none of the lights worked, and the few lamps were all running off extension cords in fire ready situations, like the lamp hanging over the tub, plugged into the light socket on the ceiling which was now only five feet tall and made it a challenge to pee.
Nothing would light, I was still in the dark. A dude zombie came in, flirted with the girl zombie and was trying to be helpful, but in a very half ass way. I finally got a light going by trying all the different outlets. They messed them up by going over them with the black paint, in their haste to make this a very scary old timey theatre experience. Customers don't usually get to see the back, but these kids were comfortable enough knowing they were the scary part of the show.
Last I remember, the dude zombie was trying to convince the girl zombie to give me a handy in the bathroom, I remember saying I was unopposed to this idea, but I started peeing and realized this doesn't feel right, I'm all bent in a weird shape and trying to force a pee into a load of clothes.
I woke up just in time all tangled in the comforter, luckily, I didn't pee the bed, but dammit, I hate dreaming of scary crap, I really think I need a nightlight, the little lights on the phone indicating charged is not enough, and I have to stop eating at like 8pm.
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