1/28/15 Equality Until The Check Arrives?

"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street

with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy."

    This is a tad cliché, but here we go.  I expect to have to pay anytime I eat out.  It is rare when someone else picks up the tab.  Honestly, in the last 2-3 years, my father-in-law is the only person we'll eat with who occasionally picks up the tab.  I am always dumbfounded, what do I do?  Am I supposed to fawn over him like I wished many a dinner companion fawned over me after paying for their food?  Do I give him a hearty handshake?  Tell him "You Da Man, Thanks!!"  It is a little uncomfortable, all of a sudden I feel like a kid, ooh, somebody else is in charge.
    When we go out as a family, even though we have a joint account, my Wife usually wants me to be the man and pay.  That way it is on me to figure out the tip.  My formula is take the taxes and multiply by two.  If waitress is attractive or goes out of his/her way, maybe an extra buck.  What do you do at a Luby's or a place where you get your own food, but the waiters come over and pester you, eventually bringing a drink refill or maybe even a little butter?  I hate tipping these dudes.  Worse, we've been told we're supposed to tip at Sonic.  Sonic has mediocre McDonald's type food, they are saving on not having a restaurant and keeping it air conditioned.  They should be paying those workers at least minimum wage.  Nothing against the food, we stop all the time for drinks or shakes when we go for a cruise, but just because the servers are outdoors, we should financially support them?
    It is fun to occasionally let Wife pay.  All of a sudden she's opening apps on her phone to make sure she is paying enough of a tip, checking the bank, see if we can afford this meal, oh no, we might have to sell the house because we ate at Whataburger.
    So do men pay because we still believe in chivalry, because we know women get 70 cents on the dollar, compared to men?  Do we pay to somehow say "I own you, Woman!!"  Or is it much simpler, women are bad at math.  Numbers and calculations scare them, so we do it to keep the peace?
    As long as I can afford it, I will be the hero/sap when the check comes.  My wife doesn't always like it, but she did not marry a cheapo.  I refuse to sit there and split a check when it is two people eating.