In theory, I worried about being a bad dad. It seems that the weight of the world is put upon a parent to do what is right and the children are so delicate and just about everything you are going to do is going to affect these kids. The reality is that kids are in their own world, with school and their own circle of friends. Yes, when they start out, we parents might be their world, but we slowly are pushed out to a position where the kids just need a little love from us, along with some food, clothing, and shelter. My mom won't let me forget I wasn't the best dad with my first kid, and I somewhat agree, I was still too immature, in my 20's and I probably threw tantrums equivalent to his. As a result, I probably overreacted when he misbehaved, in my efforts to keep him in line.
As I have aged into my 30's and into my 50's now, I find that it has become easier, and it is something I enjoy. Maybe the second kid wasn't ADD/ADHD, so I could talk to him without having to lose my shit, and that in itself makes life much more pleasant. My mom may not like it, but even if I was tough on the first born, he is now an engineer, and has a great job at one of the large companies here in Austin and he is getting ready to get flown out to Korea here in December for another two weeks to go work on another project, the boy has adjusted well to grown up life.
The problem with shitty dads is just what I was hearing yesterday, on our way to Mijo's football game, Wife was telling me of a situation where the "stepdad" is all of a sudden taking care of some kids and there has been talk of these kids getting put in the closet and stuff like that. That sounds horrid, for kids to be going through, but there are all sorts of men out there, and not all should be placed as caregivers for children. These are young kids, and I don't really know the full story, so I can't judge from where I am at.
The other story, which Mijo was telling us about last night, after the game, was that one of the players on the team was excited that his dad was finally going to go see a game, but the kid was injured a few games ago, enough that he went to the hospital for x-rays after the game, so the coaches have not been playing him. He was kind of down when he saw his dad leaving before the half, I guess he figured why stick around if his kid isn't on the field? This is shitty, selfish behavior that I can't understand. We know our boy isn't playing right now, and we are there as soon as we can, I am setting u flags and banners and doing whatever I can for the team, not because I care for the coaches thumbs up but because we support our son and if he loves doing something, we are going to be there with him.
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