Sunday, February 28, 2021

3/1/21 My "Wants" Are Too Stupid In The Real World?

     I know, wah!, I am disgusting with my first world problems, but I am not used to living on this side of things.  I don't feel like I can even dream like I was used to, everything has a real world dollar amount now and it makes my "wants" seem very petty.  Sorry, I am continuing on my anxiety attack of living in this world of no credit debt and staying that way.  First off, I promised Wife a nest egg of sorts, at least something that we could rely on to help get us through a few months of no work if one of us lost our job.  Second, there are things coming up just in life that need to be addressed and those things cost money.

    We had already bought a small SUV that Baby A was to learn to drive on and the monthly payment was a very easy to swallow $300 a month, plus I enjoyed driving that little SUV, it felt like a go cart, it was so tiny and fun around town.  Boy had an unfortunate accident, which I am glad he wasn't hurt, but now we have to find another good car and decide, are we paying cash or financing it.  I have started listening to Dave Ramsey, a finance guy and he says to buy cheap used cars, never anything new.  Kids are going to destroy their first car, so buy something super cheap.  I see his point, but it hurts me to think I am going to put Mijo in a $2000 car.  I am getting off my point, basically on the low end, I need to save $10-$12,000 for a cheap used car he can drive to school or a summer job (he has started telling me he wants to work this summer).

    Best case scenario, this might take the rest of this year, great.  Where does my dream of a new F-250 fit in this?  No way I can save up $70,000, plus Dave Ramsey would laugh at me on his show and call me ridiculous, I feel it too, that doesn't mean I don't still want one, just because.  I can't even fathom how to get past this hurdle, yet there is so much more.  Boy will graduate in the coming year and I had promised myself I would get him a nice watch, if you know me, you know what that means.  He doesn't even like the brand half as much as I do, but I'm not buying him a fucking Seiko to commemorate this important event.  At a minimum, this requires $5k-$6,000, and that is doing it cheaply, again, to appease the monster in my head.  I know nobody in the corporeal world even gives half a shit how I feel in my head.

    I haven't even gotten to the ridiculous part of my wants, these are "necessary wants", there is still the "wants" for myself.  I had told myself I needed a new boat, that is a minimum of $20-$25,000.  If not a boat, then maybe a new pool in the backyard done right, that is $60-$90,000 which even I think is too much, but we went and asked at Cody pools a year ago and the smallest pool they would build started in the $50,000 range.  This doesn't even start to poke at the dream of a piece of land on some waterfront, and eventually building a cabin or structure we could live in during our old years.  There isn't enough time logistically to get all this done without financing some of it, so does that mean I need to just give up on all my dreams and just sit quietly in my house and watch TV?  Can I even afford a new 80" TV for my bedroom so I can watch TV and cry in bed?  Waah, poor me.

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