Tuesday, August 14, 2018

8/14/18 They Jingled His Jangles?

    As boys, we all dread the physical.  It releases us to be our most basic animal on the field, to go one on one and prove to ourselves what we are made of and answer the question "do we have the "heart" they talk about in all those movies that leave men crying?"  But first someone in the medical field will check us like they are calling all cowboys to dinner with the ole triangle, clang clang clang.  The last thing we want as goofy teenagers is some attractive nurse/doctor taking a gander at our manhood, is it better to have a man looking at them?  This was the question I posed to Javalina this morning as we went and took care of the first hurdle to get him back on the field.
    As most things, we almost waited until the last minute.  Wife told me if I had a chance to take care of it, otherwise that is what we would be doing Saturday afternoon next weekend.  I knew that meant take care of it, so it was just a matter of when.  Even though I was up until about three last night, she said bye as she was leaving and I got up to walk her out.  Ever since she started leaving Monday mornings, it has felt like more of a weekend together, but poor Wife, she does have to get up like at 4:30am to leave around 5:00am.  I lost all my sleepiness, stayed up, wrote yesterday's blog, then looked at our bills, and just as I was about to go lay down, Javalina came down and I asked him if he wanted to take care of that BS, he moaned no, "so then when?" I snapped back.  The boy is super lazy.  He said fine and I sent him to take a shower.  We went to CVS around 9:00am, there was no one in line, just like I was hoping.  We got in within five minutes of arriving.
    At first the visit was very relaxed, the PA has been there a few years and we might not be besties, but she is easy enough to talk to.  I was telling her about typhus boy, she made a gross face and said "you get that by going to third world countries and drinking pee.  I told her I am sure he hasn't been anywhere, I can't say about the pee.  Then Javalina asked about getting naked and she just said "oh, for sure, I check everything."  That about froze the big boy, never mind her telling us the little tank is up to 255lbs.  She asked a hundred questions, looked in his ears, knocked on his back and then she got to the money shot.  She said whenever you are ready, drop your shorts and underwear.  He froze, didn't really want to, I just told him, look up at the ceiling and do it, you'll be done in a second.  We both closed our eyes and it was done.
    I know in the big scheme of life, it is nothing, but at that age, it seems awful invasive just to be allowed to play sports.  I know why and all, I just felt for my boy, remembering when I was in his shoes.  Oh well, on to the field and knock 'em on their asses!!

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