Honestly, I don't understand why we don't have a system set up where we can be off for more than a week or two at a time. With my sudden scare of cancer, the first thing management told me was to not worry about work, take some time off and deal with my sickness. I was uncomfortable the first few weeks, like I said, I haven't had any negative effects, such as headaches or pains to deal with, luckily. I did have a few trips to Houston, which were overnight events and then the quiet part, dealing with our own mortality is tough, tougher than most think.
I have never liked discussing death, Wife wants to bring it up sometimes, she wants to know what would be the best thing for me, to be buried or cremation. If it's burial, do we do it here, where my boys are, or in Crystal City, where my extended family is. I honestly don't care, but my family really seems to, they want all of us stacked in the same 20x20 plot of earth that some of us have already started. Wife just thinks if we go this way, they would never come visit, we barely go visit right now that I am alive, I doubt the boys would go down on their own, just facts, as I see them.
There were so many scary thoughts though and I guess it was better to have time to clear my head without the responsibilities of day to day work. My biggest fear right now is not having enough time to help Mijo finish college, I really want to be there and be a part of his final phase of education and seeing what he does, if he does end up coaching and leading young kids into adulthood. Just this past week, it was Spring Break, we didn't go anywhere, but it was fun being home, having him here, we made a brisket together, he wants to learn. He also got around to using his new weights as he tried to do the Power Clean out in the yard with 225 lbs. It was kind of fun watching him be pissy that he couldn't do it, I looked at a couple of Youtube videos, picked up a couple tips, then he did do it, but he was still pissing and moaning. It's fun to tease him, I was saying there was a girl in the video doing 300 lbs, it can't be hard, meanwhile I pulled my shoulder just trying to show him how he's supposed to whip the weight, it was all good times, he is so competitive.
All this to say that the surgeon wants me on chemo for a couple months and he seems to think I should be fine to go back to work, in the meantime. I have loved and hated being off, watching our workload get backed up really is stressful, not that I care for any particular job to get done, but the idea of coming back and having a mountain of work to catch up on, when we have now functioned on just doing the work that comes in that day because we were so on top of the workload. I do swear that I will not kill myself trying to do too much, but we all gotta do something.
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