I keep telling myself that it'll hurt somewhere else tomorrow and I don't know if I'm glad about that or not. Yesterday, it seemed to be an upset stomach/heartburn was going to become the in thing. This, along with my "diaper rash" that has set up camp and decided to stay, it seems. Well, today the focus of my discomfort moved to my soles. My feet felt like I had walked on hot rocks the day before and now I was all blistered and sore. Luckily, it just feels that way. I told my clinical study lady and she wanted a picture. I simply said it was a feeling like they were burned and blistered, there is nothing physical to see. I hope she is not foretelling me that things will get to that point, it'll suck.
My stomach pain has pretty much gone away. I don't know if it is the heartburn pill I've been taking daily or if the pain bug has just decided to move somewhere else. Either way, I guess I am glad that nausea feeling didn't last too long. I don't know if it is a side effect but I was telling Wife for the first time since not knowing what kind of cancer I had, I felt a bit of depression this morning. It feels like I am living the same day over and over. It isn't even a great day on repeat, it's one of those shitty ones you'd rather not think about. I tried to get excited at the idea of eating fresh fruits and veggies, but cutting out meat isn't just an easy decision here, even if it helps keep my blood pressure down, I'm fat for a reason, I love the taste of food. I have been thinking non-stop about pizza today, I know, be strong, blah blah blah, I got nothing else to motivate me here day to day. I keep looking at the online thing with MD Anderson and my bill is already up over $4,000. They haven't done much more than diagnose. I'm scared to think what the final cost will be. I don't know how it all works, I thought I was capped out at paying $5000 a year per my insurance. I keep dragging my feet on sending a payment, but at some point, they'll escalate up to a more formal ask of their money. I know they don't operate for free, but damn.
To make things worse, Wife just told me somebody got hurt at work, so she is having to go in their stead to a conference out of the blue this Thursday and Friday. She will pack her bag, go to work tomorrow, has a board meeting, and then is going to head to Houston afterwards. I am calling bullshit on that, she shouldn't be expected to cover both the board meeting and the conference, but it's not like she listens.
Anyways, I also hate working 5 days a week now that I have been moved off compressed weeks. There is nothing more soul crushing than doing this shit five days a week. I've spent the last 25 years working some sort of reduced work week, how do so many people work 5 days and not complain, it totally changes how I feel about work.
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