In war, the winner determines the victor. How do we determine victory in a relationship? Being type A and everything in life I personally consider a challenge, sometimes I find that winning the argument leaves me in isolation. My wife is a perfect match for me, if she has reins on me, she has given me enough reach to go around the block. We are very much ying and yang, when she comes down on my boys, I usually challenge the point to elevate my kids position and when I get upset at those little shits when they cross my limits, she is quick to defend them. In the end, my boys are growing up spoiled, but knowing that whatever they have is because of us. They don't need a big head thinking they're special to the world, they are special because we make them so.
So when does the war (disagreement) come in? Rarely, but mostly when I feel I must do something that my conscious has decided needs to be done. When we had our second child, I felt as if I was suffocating in our first house. It was small, 1100 sq ft, but it had 3 BR, and 2 baths. I felt trapped in that living room, didn't have a corner in the house I could call my own. We argued for 3-4 years before we moved into a bigger house, my wife maintaining that our house was good enough, I insisting that we needed room to grow. Along with a bigger house, came a bigger house payment. We can afford our house (7+ years), but it has been a bit of a strain. So, I won, but now our mortgage is 3x what it was, love my house, but we don't get to do as much as we'd like. I guess I'll lay in my bed and shut it.
Winning happens easily for me, whether in arguing a point to death where my wife no longer cares, or buying what I need to buy or my life will go into a tailspin "I need that electric mower Woman, I care about the environment", that piece of crap cost $300 and I used it for 1 month. Gas mowers are just stronger, have more torque. Just quietly gave that mower to my father in law, just to get it out of our garage.
I guess if there's a lesson in this, maybe you get to be the victor in your life, if you are willing to pay for the stuff, and take all the consequences from your own actions. My wife and boys call me their hero, but maybe that's a cool word for "tool", who spoils them if not me? Either way, I do it, mostly because my conscious tells me I suck if I can't get my little one a Friday toy or provide a gas card for my college boy, along with paying for his Jeep. As long as they do as I say, nay command!!! (I kid), then I see them as an extension of me, so I am really spoiling myself and that makes me the winner in life.
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