First off, may a bee sting you in the culi, oh Wife of mine. "This will only take 5 minutes." Javalina had band camp today and although I could have waited for tomorrow to do it, I decided to do all my annoying tasks and be done with them before my weekend starts in the morning. The boy got out at 5:00pm, I got frustrated just in the driving, it was so freaking hot, the A/C in the Excursion was not getting it done.
As George Carlin said so eloquently, "think of how stupid the average person is and then realize half the population is stupider than that." Man, it doesn't seem so, but then you leave the house in the middle of the day and attend something like this and wow. It just so happens I was in line in front of this special boy, maybe he had been home schooled and was now entering the real world for the first time, or maybe he was really a slow kid, sorry if you are. The "father" was patiently standing in line while the mom and the kid both seemed to be suffering from worms or something. They didn't seem able to stand still, opting to walk off and only showing up a minute before they were needed to sign off whatever in their packet. The kid actually asked his mommy if they could play hide and seek there in the school. When she said no, he said something like "you're acting like a potato."
Javalina said this was normal, but when we got to the section where the kids get their IDs, one of the secretaries or whatever, got up to shake the little weirdo's hand, of course, he wasn't trying to make eye contact, but that wasn't slowing her down as she about laid on the floor for her eyes to be in his field of view. This kid is a fucking dud, I expected her to roll out the band, maybe stand up and clap for the mighty Javalina who represents them in band, football, the Einstein program. As Mr. White Man would say "this is one of the good ones...", instead, he got a "oh, hello Alex." Boo, I say freaking Boo! Bi-otch, you standing up for the halfway retarded slow white kid who doesn't know what a comb is, do a headstand or light some fireworks for my freaking son, or cut the shit out, you looking a tad racist, to me.
My son said I was playing it out of proportion, and maybe it was just the heat in there, but better to call someone racist just in case than to let them slide and find out later and hate myself for it. I am mostly joking on this, but for freaking Christ's sake, you know you're doing this until 7:00pm, run the fucking A/C, it is 103 degrees outside. I asked a lady wearing a sweater (why not?) if they had control over the A/C and she says I am a little hot, and she grabbed at her sweater and closed it, like to shield her breasts from my gaze, I was not even trying to stare, it was too hot to do anything but stand there in misery. She went and asked someone with power and came back saying no and sorry. It is not surprising, I remember the spring concert, with a packed gym, the doors closed and it was probably hotter in the gym than outside, this events are not surprises, you could set it up to have the A/C running, if you cared about the people showing up.
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