The way I saw it, Gran Torino was a sad look at the life of a man who outlives his wife when they have been married too long. Walt is a proud and strong of character man who was probably softened in life by his wife, but she went and left him before he was done, so he must acclimate to life by himself. His two sons have a so-so relationship with him, he was probably hard on them, and now they have a hard time relating to him, in this generation of soft ass parents who are forced to be nothing like he is. The grandkids don't hep by being only interested in themselves, there is no way for a bond to be formed. The granddaughter tries, but again in a selfish manner, asking for his car, his most prized possession the Gran Torino, and while he is giving her that, throw in the old sofa, you know, for her dorm. Ole Walt is just disgusted by them, and the sons and wives feel it.
Enter the Hmong family next door, which of course old sour puss is not going to like people who look different, but he just keeps it bottled in, cursing under his breath. He is in his 70's, so there isn't much to do. He sticks to his routines, cuts his hair, hangs out at the VFW, drinks some beers on his porch. One night, the kid next door tries to steal his car and he almost shoots the kid in the process. Thao, the kid, doesn't really want the car, but his idiot gangbanger cousin is forcing him to steal it as an initiation to join the gang, which again, he doesn't want to but is being forced. The cousin and troublemakers come back for him the next day and he wants no part so they start fighting and causing a commotion right outside, this gets Walt's attention and he goes and breaks it up pointing his gun at the biggest guy in the group. The a-holes leave, but you know they aren't done.
By chance, the next scene, the sister, Sue is kind of walking on a date with a hipster doofus, and they run into three black thugs. They start separating the couple and harassing the girl, insinuating they might end up raping her. She has a smart mouth, so she is doing well enough keeping them at bay, but eventually guys like this will bully physically on a smaller person. Walt drives up and gives them a strong talking to, and while they continue talking shit, he points his gun at them, and they behave, all of a sudden.
This is the funny part, where no one has been able to break down Walt's walls, Sue comes over and starts calling him Wally and ignoring the insults, and although he insists other people address him as Mr. Kowalski, she dives right in to becoming his friend. She invites him over for a big dinner party on his birthday. He hesitates only briefly but admits he does love the smell of the food, considering he has been getting by on beef jerky. She is as hard nosed as he is, yelling at her brother in a very commanding tone when she is sent by her grandmother to offer Thao to him as a helper for attempting to steal his car. Walt doesn't like this, but soon has him working on the neighbor's houses, making his immediate vicinity nicer looking. In the meantime, Thao and Walt start becoming friends, which is something he couldn't seem to do with his kids.
I don't like giving the endings away, and this one was good, Walt does what he has to, to protect Thao and Sue, which he has grown very fond of and considers them friends. I think the Hmongs helped him release the demons he has been carrying since coming back from the Korean War, he helped Thao to become a man and get on with his life. Walt is ready for the afterlife, which you can see in many of the scenes he is seen coughing up blood and he just doesn't fit in with the changing times.
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