8/1/18 Surviving?

Augie: Man, it's hot!  How about some water, boss!
random voice: Shut up, fool, they ain't supposed to hear us.
Augie: I don't care, they shouldn't treat us like this, it's inhumane. (he says somewhat sarcastically)
random voice: Just do what the rest of us do and be glad it's not Sunday, and shut up!
Augie: Ugh, I hate this life.  We never go anywhere, just sit here in the same place every day, like it's my job.
random voice but somehow injured: You be glad they let that dog run away.  Two weeks, for two weeks I tell ya, I was in the shit!!
Augie: What do you mean? (half interested...)
injured voice: Oh yeah, everyone here thought I was dead, that many chemicals right on me, it wasn't right.  Good thing it rained, but look at me, look at me!  Do I look ok?
Augie: No, uh Sir.  Why are you yellow and not green?
injured voice: Because the dog shit kicked my ass, it just sat there and all that ammonia and whatever just did a number on my skin, good thing it rained.  I guess the rain saved me.
Augie: Well, I am sorry to what happened to you, but the fact remains I am still thirsty.
Johnny: We all have ways of getting water, whether we suck it from the ground or collect some dew in the morning, so build a strategy and stop your bitching.
Augie: I mean, you don't gotta be rude, but fine.  What was that about at least it's not Sunday?
Another voice:  ooh, on Sunday we all get a shave.  So we all look the same.
Augie: A shave, I don't like the sound of that.
Another voice: It only hurts the first few times.
Augie: God dammit, I hate this life.
Sure enough Sunday came and afterwards it was hard to tell anybody apart.  Augie no longer bitched about thirst.  His new complaint was that he used to be taller.
Augie: Wh-what was that?  One minute I am looking taller than everyone, the next I hear a growl from a machine and next thing you know I am as tall as yellow stain over there.
Injured voice: That, my boy, was a lawn mower, it keeps us all in check.
Augie: No wonder none of the other grass complains, it is a shitty life all around.  If dogs don't poop on you, you are dying of thirst, and then to boot, we all meet the mower's teeth whether we want to or not.