9/10/16 Nothing Ruins A Day Like Pain?

    I swear, try to do a good thing around here, and uh, never mind.  Well, maybe He smote my leg cause I talk too much shit.  First of all, I couldn't sleep after taking a nap around 10:30pm.  I fell asleep while trying to be a man and watching football.  I then woke up after midnight and I wasn't sleepy at all.  I was up until 6:00am.  I folded and put away three loads of clothes.  One I didn't know Wife had left in washroom, another was my dirty clothes and the third was Boy's dirty clothes.  I like folding clothes after midnight, as long as I can find some good shows along the lines of House Hunters International, or the newer ones where regular people buy beach houses.  Of course Mother (looking at y'all!!!), I want one.  It still surprises me when my parents are surprised when I say I want something.  I want everything.  I covet my neighbor's goods, it is what keeps the economy going, as George Carlin famously said in his 10 Commandments riff.
    Anyways, I fell asleep around 6:00am but woke at 7:30am and Boy was still home, so I came out to check and he was almost ready to go to class.  I then went back to bed, tossed and turned, kind of hungry for tacos, but nobody to go with.  I called a friend, but they were busy with a sick kid, so too bad.  I then lay there thinking and remembered it's supposed to be a shitty weekend weather wise, so I thought about the yard and decided to be a hero and cut it, even though Boy said he would do it.  I was mowing pretty good, had some Adam Carolla playing in my ears, so I was entertained and working.  About halfway through cutting the front yard, I felt the hardest whack to my leg, I didn't want to look down for fear of seeing my leg dangling.  Apparently, I picked up an old metal stake used to hold the plastic things around the trees that keep the mulch from going all over.  Man, it hit like a baseball bat was swung at me from behind.
    Pain is a bitch.  Right at first it hurts, then for a second you say, nah, I can walk it off, so it seems ok.  But once you give it a chance for the rest of the body to figure out what happened, watch out.  All sorts of things engage, there was only one cut I saw, then a minute later I had two identical cuts, bleeding into my shoe.  Then the whole area started looking yellow and swelled.  After five minutes I can see the injured area is radial and goes about 10 inches in diameter.  When I step on that leg, it hurts even more, so the muscle does not want to be flexed right now.  I took some pain pills, Aleve, I think but it was like spitting at a forest fire, they didn't do much, or maybe they did.  My leg hurts two hours later (10:30am), but it is not pulsating and the light bandage seems to have stopped the bleeding.
    I guess Boy will end up cutting the grass.  He did say he would be home by noon.  This sucks, but I am up only because I wanted tacos.  I should still be asleep.