7/25/19 The Problem With Tiny SUVs?

Last week I spent most of the week in Wife's Kia Soul which she loves.  This week, I have been driving Boy's Ford Edge for two days now while my Excursion is in the shop.  Not that I want to replace it, but at some point, it might be cheaper to get a new vehicle than keep going days waiting on my vehicle.  I keep telling Wife that my vehicle of choice is an F-250, big and wide and useful to pull and carry heavy loads.  She insists we won't be buying any more toys or things needing to be towed.  This just breaks my heart a bit every time, but that is how we got into our debt problems in the first place, so there is no point in arguing.  My 2nd choice if I don't get a big truck is a big Ford Expedition which replaced the Excursion as the big SUV in their lineup.  Again, Wife insists that 95% of the time, I am driving around alone or with Javalina.  This is true, but I cannot downgrade quietly to one of the smaller SUVs just because she is comfortable in one.
    First of all, she is 5ft 3in, so she fits in almost anything.  I am sure gravity is already making me shorter than my tallest I ever was, but I am still a massive 400 pounder, I just don't fit anywhere.  Most SUVs have a tunnel connecting the dashboard to the middle console so that A/C ducts can be fed to the back.  This is great for the kids in the back, but it makes the space up front much tighter than it has to be.  What I end up doing is sitting kind of sideways on one ass more than the other, otherwise my normal sitting would press both my knees into either side of the plastic material and that is just going to lead to cracks in the plastic if we keep it up.  To add insult to a fat fucker, the seatbelt on Boy's driver position is shorter than any other vehicle I have ever driven.  I have to lean the back further more than I like and lower the choice on the wall down as far as it will go.  This barely lets me click the belt on.  This is a shame because I like the drive of the Edge, it seems more than capable and "peppy" but I am not comfortable with the belt suffocating me.  I don't drive it enough to go buying an extension which I am sure exists either.
    I don't know if Wife is trying to emasculate me by putting me in a "bitch" car.  I don't think she will be happy until I am driving a Ford Festiva for the sake of saving a fucking dollar.  There are rumors we might actually get a raise at work, couple that with I've been listening to Ludacris and other "pimp boss" types and I am feeling like Daddy will ultimately need a proper new truck and that does not mean a Ranger, maybe something that requires a ladder to board.  'Merica, Fuck Yeah!!!