I am left confused more than anything. I have been talked to by one of my closest allies and what they said left me more confused than I thought possible. It seems their girlfriend may have a problem with how we are, I don't see how being that we are who we are all the time and she has known us for a good ten years. You come at either Wife or me with some weak shit and yes, we will be sarcastic and goof on your idea. What are we supposed to do, take you seriously?
This is the same person who finds it normal and ok to come in the house and greet me by squeezing my stomach like I am a stuffed bear, I mean I know that I'm a fat fuck, but when did we lose all sense of respect or formality? There is no way in hell I would walk into my in-law's house and do any kind of grabbing on my mother on law or Wife go and rub my Dad's stomach and go "aww, how is the chubby guy doing today? So I figure we have dropped the formalities, we have known each other for a decade, even if you just now moved closer to becoming family. I then crack a few jokes and you decide I have gone too far? You cannot have it both ways. Either you are with us, go ahead, rub my stomach, crack jokes about my manhood (when I get my testosterone shots) but take the teasing about the weird red meats (which is good but different), the contraceptive protection (fucking awesome show of responsibility there), and the LOLs (with you, never at you). Or we can all take a step back and just address ourselves as Mr and Ms/Mrs. and we will just keep it formal.
You can't declare talking about contraception is out of bounds when you are chanting sarcastically "no babies 2018" as you pop your pill over our sink on a Friday night. I don't care nor do I know if it is for birth control or for a myriad of other reasons people take the pill, that is not of my concern, but awesome that you are mature enough to do this.
Now, trying to get my family structure changed to accommodate you, helps me how? I need my Pride and Joy home so that my other younger seedling is not alone, how easy is that math problem? You have been dating for a couple months, give it a year or two before you start thinking of separating the family to your satisfaction, no? You two knuckleheads haven't even dealt with whose Thanksgiving are you going to be at, or where you spend Christmas, or hell, how much is an apartment in Austin, how much does milk cost, eggs? Your monthly payment on your car, son? How do you jump all this real shit and concern yourselves with Why can't we sleep together? How about finishing your degrees, we are going on seven years for a Bachelor's degree, if you're going to come at me like adults.
I am not angry, yet. There is no way Boy would turn on me this way on his own, he knows how much we spoil him, how much we love him. I have seen these types of shenanigans played out before and how I fucking wish people had heeded my advice, but live and let live. When it all comes crashing down, we'll be there. Removing that Puppet Master's hand will be the hardest thing, but this should have never happened in the first place if this is where we are so soon.
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