Slowly chugging along, I have now reached 1000 blog posts. I am not sure if it actually means anything, as my dad keeps telling me, why are you wasting your time still writing those things? I started writing them as a way of leaving the boys something they could read so they could see how and why I thought how I did. Over time, I am not sure I was writing for the boys as my audience since I am naturally a pervert and kind of dirty minded. I figured it is what it is, why pretend I'm something else.
Getting to 1000 is just a number, but if I am writing one a day, it also means I have been at it over three years. I started in November of 2014 and have not stopped. I had thoughts of switching it up or taking a break on the weekends, but I am very robotic in that once I start, I don't want to quit. I worry that if I were to stop I would just say fuck it, I am done. I don't want to stop now, because I want to have years of blogs that I can group together into sets of once a year or maybe even 500 or 600 days together and print it out into books, again for the Boys, so they can have my thought process on a shelf, nearby.
I have started a few book ideas as blogs, but then I get scared that my idea for a story might not be good enough, so I chicken out. I am also not sure I can stretch an idea out for 200 or 300 pages and wrap it all neatly with a bow, but I do want to try. My sister also likes to say that she is the writer and that it will be her who writes the great novel, so I can take this as fuel to kick some ass. It is a weird feeling to write something and put it out for anyone to see.
In the beginning, I had comments and suggestions that my sentences had run-ons and other shit but it was only one person. I think it was only a matter of fucking with me, but these are some of the situations you run into when you expose yourself. Like most people, we don't like criticism, it just reminds us we are not perfect. I have gotten over this a bit. I accept that I may the occasional run-on or I might even use the wrong expression to convey a message, but this is just my style of writing. A lot of times I am writing as a character and who's to say he/she doesn't talk with a little color and personality? Maybe I am deeper than you can realize?
Sometimes this has been hard to keep up, like the last two nights, which were my birthday and I have all sorts of activities going on during the day, I couldn't sit down to write, even if I wanted to. I have lost all sorts of sleep keeping up with my one a day personal commitment. Other days it is just the salve I need, when something is under my skin and pissing me off, I can write about it to make me feel better. Maybe I stop next week, maybe I am still writing these in ten years, either way, I hope y'all few people that read my blog find enjoyment or help from Daddy's Daily Thought.
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