I don't like lying to my boys except when it comes to the holidays. I don't go around saying there is a Santa, but I have told them, including Boy, the minute you start slamming Santa that he doesn't exist is when he stops bringing gifts to you Christmas morning. This has been effective in shutting up even Boy who can be a curmudgeon and sours most everything if it doesn't interest him.
In the last couple years we were introduced to the kind of creepy Elf On The Shelf and Wife somehow got one. Through telephone technology and various aunts, we created a voice for the Elf and Wife was good at moving the Elf to various places around the house when she was here before. She had quietly asked me to keep doing it. I thought it was kind of stupid, but I did it and I got a kick at how Chubs was scratching his head about him. I think we call him Snowball and he just stands back muttering "Snowball was in my stocking..." if he keeps moving off the tree I'm going to put him back in the glass cabinet where we keep him the rest of the year. I have since then moved him to ride a reindeer that we keep by the front door. It took Chubs two days to see him, I just moved him and forgot about it. I then get to act like I am as uninterested as usual saying "I don't touch your creepy elf, you know me." "Hmm," he says, "it isn't Boy, he doesn't care about anything." I add maybe it's Girlie, he says "nah, she's only interested in her phone."
Friday I tucked the head and torso into his back pack and he went to pick it up. He was a little confused I mentioned "He heard you weren't doing great in a couple classes, he was probably checking your work. He just said hmmm, I'll put him back on the tree, but he is confused. It kind of reminds me of an episode of Dr. Who where the angels come out. They are made of stone and appear motionless, but they will move when you blink your eyes or in the dark. This works remarkably well in the show as every time there is a blink or a flashlight going off, the statues move closer to the people. The people are then converted to statues in the dark. That was a wild episode and it required them to create a hole in space and time by destroying the TARDIS, the big blue phone booth to defeat them.
If I really thought the freaking Elf was moving around in the middle of the night, I wouldn't be cool with it, but then again, he is the ambassador for Santa, and that means he has a correlation to how many toys he gets, so he must just tolerate the creepiness. Wife is back in town, so I am sure the elf will be moving around more regularly. Is this cool or are we secretly tormenting our child in an effort to amuse ourselves? Santa is always generous around here, so there is no reason to disturb the status quo. I guess both boys will just put up with whatever crap we throw their way, provided Santa keeps delivering the goods. As their friends tell them all the time, they are lucky. Santa doesn't visit all of Chub's friends anymore. All I can do to salvage that is tell him well, that's what happens when you stop believing, so close your eyes and be thankful Snowball is still around.
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