9/7/15 Labor Day (poem)

Labor Day Is a holiday celebrated by all

mostly, we suck cause we spend it in the mall.

It is a holiday celebrated on the first Monday in September

it honors the American Labor Movement and its contributions, please remember.

In high society, Labor Day is the last day of the year to wear white,

not to worry my busy mexicans, you all is alright.

Even though it is a vacation from work,

it does end up being a busy day for shopping, so retail employees just smirk.

This holiday has been around since the 1880s,

all I notice is that mattresses go on sale, mateys.

President Grover Cleveland signed it into law

after the Pullman Strike left citizens dead at the hands of the military and feelings were raw.

In sports, the holiday marks the beginning of the NFL and college football seasons

who needs a better excuse to sit around all day than those two reasons?

Labor Day marks the first of a few three day weekends from school

It is getting cooler, so probably also the last chance to get in a pool.

We are in September, means decorating the house with some goblins and ghosts

we love Halloween, sometimes we can be a bit grandiose.

We can at last start looking at the weather, maybe for our first cold front

I know, the first few ones Old Man Winter is not howling but barely lets out a grunt.

I've gotten my $700 light bill, so any excuse to turn off the a/c

the August bill always makes me cry and take a knee.

Happy Labor Day to everyone I know

this might be the year we finally get some snow!

9/6/15 Schlitterbahn Was Nice?

    I didn't really feel like going anywhere today.  The only real reason we did was because we had been telling Chubs we would go to Schlitterbahn.  We bought the season tickets at the end of last season so we managed to go a handful of times last year, but this summer was so hectic, we hadn't managed to go and time was running out.
   The main goal for going was to meet up with our friends who moved out of state a couple years ago. Surprisingly, we found their family a few seconds after gooing in the park, they had sent half the family like at 10am so they could get good tables in a good place.  I worked last night, but did get out at 5am so I could sleep a good amount.  Wife tried getting me up at noon, but I fought the good fight until almost 2pm, at which point she said she was going to gas up car and buy some sodas, and a bag of ice.  I finally got up, ran downstairs, ate some fruit, and a piece of pan dulce (old family recipe to insure a quick poop) with a glass of water.    After doing my business and showering, we got going.  I told Wife to drive, again, I am still battling this fatigue thing, but again, when do I rest?
    Wife got us there in no time, and after circling the parking lot a couple times, we got lucky and found a good spot, even under a shady tree.  We always rent a locker, it costs about $10, but it gives piece of mind when it comes to valuables.  I can leave my towels and snacks on any table, but I don't trust my wallet and phone walking off on their own.  They do give you back $2, when you return the key.
    Our routine is to go round and round the circular wave pool and the lazy river on tubes.  Ocasionally, we'll do the small slides, but Chubs didn't want to do them today.  We did manage to all end up hungry at the same time, and eventually we saw our friends at the tables they had reserved.  We ate our sandwich stuff, they were much more prepared, even had tuna fish in ice.  We are not that adventurous.  We stick to ham and bologna when we eat sandwiches out of the house.  Chubs even got me to buy him some of that ice cream of the future "dippin' dots", at a ridiculous price of $5.99 for the small.
    After awhile, we went our separate ways, we headed to the lazy river to chill.  Even though I didn't want to go, once in the water, I can't think of a more relaxed place to be.  It did rain earlier in the day, and while we were at the park, it got quite cloudy, although I didn't see rain.
    We were out of the park by 6:15pm, Chubs changed in the car and we stopped for some Cooper's BBQ.  By then, my supervisor called and asked if I could go in to work tonight or tomorrow.  I said I would go in tomorrow, only because I was excited to see the Longhorns start their game night.  That game was such a disappointment, after waiting all summer to see some football.

9/5/15 Sextra Special? (book)

    Boy has now gotten in the habit of giving me books for my birthday.  I think I like this, see if he continues the tradition.  This year, he gave me this book I just read, Sextra Special, which is a collection of old corny jokes.  The other book was Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea by Jules Verne.  One because I am a pervert, and the boy knows what I like, and the other because there are few things better looking than a bookshelf full of leather bound books.  I have bought a few myself and while the world converts to digital and tablets and such, I still prefer old smelly paper books.
    Sextra Special was published in 1953, so that gives the reader an indication of the times these jokes were used.  A lot of them are just dated by the fact that the man in power is taking advantage of his position.  There are plenty of jokes with doctors and their needing to examing young females, funny.  Then there are word play jokes, some aren't too bad, like this one:
                              She: "Do you think of me whenever you're away Darling?
                              He:   "Yes ,sweet, I always bare you in mind.
Cheesy and lame.  Yet, still has the naked theme.  There was a cartoon with a young seemingly attractive young blonde sitting in a tub on a phone, the caption reads:
                    "S'funny, Mr. Bennett, but I always thinkof you when I'm in hot water!"
I guess that's a double entendre, if Mr. Bennett is her lawyer, sshe must get in trouble a lot, though.
    There were a lot of jokes that were very subtle, such as:
                   "Did you hear about the girl that was so thin, that when she swallowed
                     the olive, three guys left town?"
I had to think about it, "oh yeah, that's how you avoided being the father, you left town..."
    I am much more used to jokes today, I like a good "that's what she said."  I love a picture with an obvious double entendre, such as the pool balls sitting in the triangle thingy and a "nice rack!" or even a male deer with a huge antler set-up, that also gets a "nice rack!"
    I guess our dirty jokes today still target the hotties we fantasize about, but no one is walking around with "oh yes, Mr Gallegos... you're so funny", it's more like "what you looking at, I have mace."  Maybe that's why the HR departments are all so big in the big companies, all the cartoons showed the older fatter men, basically taking advantage in every way, of the younger secretary type.
    Anyways, the book is good, as a historical source.  I can't qualify all the jokes as funny, but there were some that made me chuckle.  Thanks Boy.

9/4/15 Busy September?

    It seems to be quiet, but those duck feet underwater never stop moving (ehh, The Replacements).  Every time I talk to my Dad, he asks about OT.  It feels like it has slowed down, but I did work 72 hours last week.  So, are things slower?  I am not complaining, at least last weekend was nice and quiet.  We almost went to Rockport one last time, we even packed, but then I was offered OT, so I said no.  All week long, I had been telling Wife, I just want to take it easy, then Thursday night she gets all excited about going because her brother called.  When he called, I said sure, it was looking like I was even going to go home early Thursday night, but then the work came in and suddenly OT was offered.  Y'all know, I am a whore when it comes to money.  Rare is the dollar I leave on the table.
    Chubs is in his new room and everyone that sees it, says it looks like an adults room, good enough for them.  His old room is still "under construction".  Today, I took down the last of his posters and transferred them to his room.  The floor has been cleaned of any and all toys, my stuff is slowly taking over.  I started with the black out curtains because I like to control the mood and lighting.  This was followed by mounting TV on wall, adding a stereo, making room for my massage table, of course.  Even if it only serves as an ironing board, 99% of the time.
    We are going to wait on a new vehicle until we refinance our house.  But we are looking and even test driving every now and then.  Wife wants me to get a new truck first, I want her to get her little SUV first, awww, que cute.
    This weekend is Labor Day and our friends who left the state are coming back for a few days.  They called us a while back and invited us to go with them to Schlitterbahn.  We do have tickets, so we said we'd go.  But it is also the first game of the football season for the Longhorns and against Notre Dame, it should be exciting.  I love night games, this one starts at 6:30pm, so we should about be coming back from Schlitterbahn, by then.
    Other than that, things are quiet, Boy is back in his apartment, Chubs signed up to be with the Leadership Group, next week should be his first week helping with the crossing guard duties.  Wife has taken to driving the bus like a champ.  Soon, the Halloween stuff comes out.

9/3/15 Narcos, Making Netflix Like HBO?

    Netflix repeatedly is putting out great content.  Narcos is a show just released August 28th.  The first night I saw four episodes back to back and only stopped because it was end of my shift.  The season consists of ten episodes and is retold through the eyes of one of the DEA agents sent to Colombia to track the Medellin Cartel.  Murphy starts out working the streets in Florida, but gets re-assigned to Colombia after a drug bust goes bad and his partner is killed.  His partner Pena has been in Colombia much longer and is fluent in Spanish, Murphy initially is at a disadvantage, but picks up quickly that the way to get respect from these tough guys is to be a tough guy also.
    Most of the camera time is spent on the "bad" guy, Pablo Escobar.  He is a conflicting figure because on the one hand, you see him as a family man.  He truly loves his boy, constantly holding him tenderly, being goofy playing soccer with the boy, letting his mother be a presence in his life, and seemingly loving his wife and daughter, providing all the comforts one could ask for.  But, on the other hand, he manipulates, doesn't skip a beat jumping on other women, and killing people if he even thinks they might be thinking of crossing him.
    The story of cocaine starts out in Peru, and according to the show, makes its way to Colombia via a survivor from Peru with the apt name, Cucaracha.  He survives a death squad and brings his expertise to a young Pablo Escobar, who at the time, was starting out moving Marijuana and electronics.  Cocaine opened the floodgates of money to pour in from Miami.  The show shows him making so much money, at a certain point, he just starts burying it.  The voiceover mentions that in 1989, Escobar was making $60 million a day.
    His problems start, when he decides he wants to be a politician.  He has aspirations to be the president of his country, but the rich people that control things, do not accept him and even call him out as a "narco traficante."  He, of course, goes to war, essentially with his country, it seems like.  At one point, he even manages to take down a commercial jet, which is when other drug traffickers start thinking he has gone too far.
    Luis Guzman was the only recognizable face I saw in the whole cast, and he plays a really scary drug dealer, not hesitating at all to kill, even those on his side.  At one point, kills a dog that fails to sniff the drugs on a boat, as Escobar is joking that the drugs are infused in with the fiberglass of the boat, not in the boat, but on the boat.
    It was violent, but I thought a very good story.  There was no conclusion, the season ended with Escobar running into the woods, from the prison he had built to house him.  I am not sure if it will come back for another season, but I enjoyed this show.

9/2/15 Favorite Is Defined By Your Options?

    I came in to work and my coworker from day-shift offered me cookies.  I am a weak weak man, of course, I said yes.  I had just a few minutes before brewed a new pot of coffee, so I poured some coffee and got ready for my sugar rush.
    I ate a couple before realizing what we were eating.  I asked her, this is the last of your Girl Scout Cookies, isn't it?  She said yes, although she said she had one more box of Thin Mints in her freezer.  A few months ago she was selling the cookies, for her granddaughter.  I bought a few boxes, I love those Caramel Delights, and the Lemon flavored ones.  When she was selling, she had this and that.  I told her, surprise me, just don't bring me those nasty Shortbread ones.  Fast forward to the end of the season, and guess which ones are just plain yummy.  Given that there is no choice, it is Shortbreads or nothing, they suddenly are the tastiest treat in town.  I ate almost half a box, before I finished my first cup of coffee.  If there were any other cookie choice, I would have been a snob and said feed the Shortbreads to the squirrels outside, BUT, now, screw you, squirrel!
    How about when we open a new bag of potato chips.  Isn't it grand to look inside and find that perfect round chip and just shove the whole thing in your mouth?  RRRRuuffffllleess have rrridges!!!  MMMMmm, is there a better treat?  But we work through the bag and the pieces get smaller.  Pretty soon we're dipping our fingers with potato chip crumbs, and then the ceremonial dumping of the bag into our mouths as we finish the dust.  What happened to that first bite, crunching like we wear a monocle and talk with an english accent?  The last few bites reveal our true animal, we're just raccoons trying to finish the bag.
    Same thing happens in my underwear drawer, I start out the week with my newest undies, black and fitting as they should.  I move to the grey, just as good.  Even though I own ten pair of good ones, eventually, at the end of the week, I am left choosing between the threadbare  ones that spend all their last days shoved in my ass crack, or the super short loose ones, that allow my gonads freedoms they should not experience.
    You tell yourself, never again, but a few days later, there we are, making the same decisions.  Part of life, I guess.  It can't be all Caramel Delights 24/7, that would become both best and worst cookie, if that is all we had.  We need to eat the chip dust to honor the whole potato, not just the parts that got lucky and settled on top, in the air lock.  Wear that shitty underwear, so your sack remembers how good it has it, the rest of the week.  We must have the good with the bad, it is how we appreciate life.

9/1/15 Test Driving Fiats?

    We were at the mall, Saturday evening with no real purpose, other than to walk around.  Below the food court, in the big open area, where Santa is usually set up, they had some Fiat cars.  Only one was open, I thought ehh, big deal.  We got close anyway and asked about the SUV one.  A chick and a dude were quick to say that those cars were closed, but if we went outside, they had all their cars there, set up for quick test drives.  For our time, we would get a $10 gift card each.  She gave Wife a lanyard with a "credit card", she promised the registration would be quick.  It actually was.  We slid our driver's license through a scanner thingy and all our info was uploaded quickly.
    Wife test drove the SUV, which is small but very much a sexy little SUV.  I test drove the 500 Cabrio.  Honestly, it is too small for us, we are both jumbo sized and Chubs is already half way there.  I liked the convertible part though.  The guy who came with me noted that a fully loaded Cabrio "lounge" would fall around $23,000.  I thought cute, but too small.
    Wife's car's theoretical price would also fall into the below $23,000 price point.  I have to guess Fiat is aiming at the young, new car buyers starting out.  The last two cars we have bought new cost twice that much, but I am not sure we want to do that again.
    I had settled on the idea of buying a "certified" car for Wife next year.  That is Ford's thing with near new cars with low miles.  She wants an SUV, so we are either going to get an Escape if it will be solely for her running back and forth.  An Explorer, if we get real serious and trade in my Excursion, I love that thing, but it is 11 years old.  We would still have the extra seating capacity plus way better gas mileage than the Excursion.  Possibly an Edge, I like them, but they still seat only 4-5.  I love the Flex, but Wife hasn't come around.  They are square, small, but will seat seven.
    I'm not sure where the Fiat fixes into our plans.  The SUV was a looker, I guess we can consider it as much as a new VW Beetle, which Wife keeps saying no, but I still enjoy.  I also would like a big ole Taurus SHO, but Wife says "no cars".  I liked their way of bringing the cars to where the people are, plus $10....