I know, we all talk of losing weight and making changes at the start of the year, only to fall back to our wicked old ways, but I need to make some real changes. My fat ass has ballooned up to 430 pounds as of last night, if my scale is working right and that ain't good for nobody. Wife and Javalina are with me right now and we talked of an Atkins like approach to eating, at least to start. If anything, it will keep me from hitting all the sweets we tend to keep around.
The biggest motivator all year has been that I want to work out with Javalina, if I can get him going, he could turn into a beautiful athlete. He has the frame and the right size, but like me, he is lazy. He kind of makes me nervous when he tells me "dad, can I tackle you?" I get it, he sees me as a big tackling dummy, but in my out of shape condition, he is likely to break one of my ribs or worse. I am pissed at myself that I stopped walking after one of my coworkers asked me "is all that walking helping you?" I took it as condescending and maybe he was just asking, but I stopped because I did the math and I was still a fat fuck, even if I was walking 4 miles a night. I didn't think of the other benefits, two years of being inactive have me struggling to catch my breath way too easily, falling behind just walking long distances from Wife and the boys. I used to be the one up front pushing them to walk faster. If I thought 350 pounds was bad, 430 is worse.
Then the big one of my dad ending up in the hospital this past week kind of has me scared. He is not obese like me, his was a bout of pneumonia accompanied by his love of smoking. Seeing him in bed needing help to sit up and to get up out of bed is something I see happening to me if I don't make changes now. The thought of needing someone there to help me shower or go to the bathroom has me pretty scared in itself. Luckily, my dad seems to be gaining his strength back, he was even sitting in a regular chair watching the Alabama/Clemson game a little while ago and my mom says he was in good spirits. He should be released tomorrow.
We will try to stop eating out every day like we have been doing. We got some Atkins shakes to replace some of our meals, like my dinner in the middle of the night, I don't need to eat a steak and potatoes at 2:00am. Javalina and I started today after school with a little workout lifting weights and then we ate some salmon with a salad for lunch. I feel pretty good, I didn't go nap like I had been doing, instead I got in to work and walked half a mile. I will make walking a priority again. I hate that struggling for air feeling that I get every time I bust a move.
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